
PrettyMoose
Eat my arse, Pain&Sh*tness & Mindf*ckitation Grift
- Mar 1, 2020
- 280
Sometimes I wonder about myself. I seem to have the same conversations play out again and again and there doesn't appear to be anything that I can do about it. At the beginning of the conversation it all feels so fresh as if it really is the first time I'm discussing a certain topic, and then somewhere in the middle of it I get a feeling of deja vu and start to feel embarrassed for already having this discussion and not realizing it soon enough. Then I make a conscious effort to try and steer the discussion in a different route. That only works out for a little while, as soon I find myself having that same feeling of deja vu come back to me. There are only so many ways that I can steer a discussion and it seems like the limited amount of different ways eventually become the same old ways after the discussion is had so many times. Basically I feel completely screwed in the way that I communicate and I feel doomed to always have this embarrassing deja vu feeling. It has always happened a little bit and I think it is natural that it happens to everyone at least some of the time, but for me it seems to be getting worse with age. It happens in online conversations and in real life conversations, and it is worsening in both areas.
I wonder, is it signs of early onset dementia? Dementia does run in my family, multiple family members have had it already and it is one of the reasons why I don't want to let myself get too old before I decide to check out of life. I don't want to become too mentally disabled to know when it is time to go, or to know how to execute a plan on leaving.
Or is it simply anxiety? I've always had issues with anxiety and I know that it can make a person think crazy things sometimes.
Or is it a mix of both anxiety and early onset dementia? How would I be able to know which is a symptom of which?
Anyway, I already have had the general idea in my head that I refuse to grow old. This is just another thing to add to the mix of awful age related diseases that I do not want to live with.
I wonder, is it signs of early onset dementia? Dementia does run in my family, multiple family members have had it already and it is one of the reasons why I don't want to let myself get too old before I decide to check out of life. I don't want to become too mentally disabled to know when it is time to go, or to know how to execute a plan on leaving.
Or is it simply anxiety? I've always had issues with anxiety and I know that it can make a person think crazy things sometimes.
Or is it a mix of both anxiety and early onset dementia? How would I be able to know which is a symptom of which?
Anyway, I already have had the general idea in my head that I refuse to grow old. This is just another thing to add to the mix of awful age related diseases that I do not want to live with.