SoulBroken
Member
- Apr 29, 2024
- 5
Growing up I was always hated, hated by every single person around me ever since I was young, I failed to make any friends.
The universe decided that loneliness is not enough, I started getting bullied after moving to a different country, I was beaten up almost every day and went home to my parents fighting with each other.
I was also hated by my family, my dad always told me how I'm a failure and how I'll never achieve anything, he told me that it was a bad day seeing me get born and that a pet dog would be more useful to the family.
I fell into depression, and all I did was rot in bed, I failed high school and had to do it again, while everyone else went to university.
I was forced to go to psychiatrists by my mom, i started taking pills and they never helped so i stopped taking them
After finally finishing high school, I went to university for a few months, I wasn't ok, I have social anxiety and I can't talk to people, I wanted to run away or do something else, I decided to postpone university, I got a full time job, and every time I get home my dad would tell me that work doesn't make me a real man, and that I'm still a failure, he compared me to other people.
I feel broken, my soul is very broken and I can't stop crying, I stopped going to work, I can't get outside my room, I can't eat or sleep properly, I'm starting to feel physically sick
The thing that hurts me the most is loneliness, I really want to be loved, I really wish someone cared about me, I wish someone would tell me they're proud of me.
But I hate myself too, I realized my dad is right, but I didn't ask to be born, I wish life wasn't so cruel.
I want to die, I really want to peacefully exit this life, I know I can't keep going and I realize I don't belong in this life, I don't see a future where I will be ok. I already feel like I'm dead, I feel so disconnected from life
I don't want to keep suffering, my eyes start tearing up as soon as I wake up
I'm tired of acting like I'm ok, I wish someone knew how I felt, I want to scream. I'm tired of the fake smiles, fake laughs. I tried to get better in many different ways and nothing worked.
It really hurts, I feel like no matter how much I type I will never be able to express how sad, broken and hurt I am, I feel my heart and soul aching every single moment of the day.
I finally took the decision to kill myself, but I wish it was easier, even exiting this life is hard, I don't have a solid plan yet but I'm thinking about an exit bag using helium gas, I feel nervous but I know this is what I want and I know this is the right decision, I really wish it was easy, I wish I could just press on a button to disappear and not exist anymore.
The universe decided that loneliness is not enough, I started getting bullied after moving to a different country, I was beaten up almost every day and went home to my parents fighting with each other.
I was also hated by my family, my dad always told me how I'm a failure and how I'll never achieve anything, he told me that it was a bad day seeing me get born and that a pet dog would be more useful to the family.
I fell into depression, and all I did was rot in bed, I failed high school and had to do it again, while everyone else went to university.
I was forced to go to psychiatrists by my mom, i started taking pills and they never helped so i stopped taking them
After finally finishing high school, I went to university for a few months, I wasn't ok, I have social anxiety and I can't talk to people, I wanted to run away or do something else, I decided to postpone university, I got a full time job, and every time I get home my dad would tell me that work doesn't make me a real man, and that I'm still a failure, he compared me to other people.
I feel broken, my soul is very broken and I can't stop crying, I stopped going to work, I can't get outside my room, I can't eat or sleep properly, I'm starting to feel physically sick
The thing that hurts me the most is loneliness, I really want to be loved, I really wish someone cared about me, I wish someone would tell me they're proud of me.
But I hate myself too, I realized my dad is right, but I didn't ask to be born, I wish life wasn't so cruel.
I want to die, I really want to peacefully exit this life, I know I can't keep going and I realize I don't belong in this life, I don't see a future where I will be ok. I already feel like I'm dead, I feel so disconnected from life
I don't want to keep suffering, my eyes start tearing up as soon as I wake up
I'm tired of acting like I'm ok, I wish someone knew how I felt, I want to scream. I'm tired of the fake smiles, fake laughs. I tried to get better in many different ways and nothing worked.
It really hurts, I feel like no matter how much I type I will never be able to express how sad, broken and hurt I am, I feel my heart and soul aching every single moment of the day.
I finally took the decision to kill myself, but I wish it was easier, even exiting this life is hard, I don't have a solid plan yet but I'm thinking about an exit bag using helium gas, I feel nervous but I know this is what I want and I know this is the right decision, I really wish it was easy, I wish I could just press on a button to disappear and not exist anymore.
