Nephis
“Death should take me while I am in the mood.”
- Sep 3, 2018
- 280
Isn't that technically a good thing? Less bs to deal with in my opinion and less obstacles in the way of dying really I see it as a plus that they don't care otherwise it would be much harder to ctb
I was taking antipsychotic medication when I took metoclopramide and I didn't feel any side effect. I only took 1 metoclopramide tablet though. Maybe side effects are felt only when taking stat dose of metoclopramide?
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,217
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
This is why it is best to do it in a hotel room. I won't be ctb'ing at home unless I was very short on time.
PPeH is for seniors and really weak people.
I'm new here so sorry if this is not allowed but how much SN did you take OP? You are a brave soul.
RitaM
Mountaineer
- Aug 26, 2018
- 146
Sorry you're going through this. I'm in the UK too and understand your frustration with the crisis team. They offered me the crisis team recently but I declined. Sometimes they've been nice, but it's ultimately just a welfare check to see if you're still alive. I've had very unpleasant visits from them too where they've walked out and left me in floods of tears. It's very hard to get support in the UK. I've been told to ring my psych nurse if I need support but she never answers or returns my calls. I've been told about a crisis house I can stay in for 24 hours but there is never any space, and trying to get through to someone to actually get there is near impossible.
What you went through sounds very traumatic. I hope you can take some time for yourself and find some comfort, somehow. I feel caught between calling helplines and just ending it all. I wish things could be easier for us.
What you went through sounds very traumatic. I hope you can take some time for yourself and find some comfort, somehow. I feel caught between calling helplines and just ending it all. I wish things could be easier for us.
Raggas
Suicide is self expression
- Dec 31, 2018
- 306
Make me feel special that in Australia there are plenty of hospital/psych ward beds for free. Also they follow you up with a support team if you've been there more than once.
Roger
I Liked Ike
- May 11, 2019
- 972
It's depressingly familiar for posters who have attempted to give incomplete accounts. No doubt they are in a poor emotional condition when they take their SN, and so we should be sympathetic, but precise details are precious to those of us who are still planning.
In this case we have incomplete details of dosage, an admission that antiemetics were not taken, a declaration that vomiting occurred, all wrapped up with a statement that the OP was found alive, though we are not told how long this discovery occurred after taking the SN.
Am I being too harsh ?
RitaM
Mountaineer
- Aug 26, 2018
- 146
Yes. No poster owes any other poster anything.
CyanideSoup
Memento mori
- Oct 1, 2019
- 463
I'm sorry if I find this a difficult subject to go into detail about. I want to be able to give people the information they want but I think they forget that 3 days ago I was convinced I wasn't going to be alive anymore and yet here I am and I need time to come to terms with that. I'm an emotional wreck.
- I took 15g of SN in 100mls water.
-I didn't 'admit' I didn't take antiemetics, I couldn't because of the medication I am on already.
- I don't know when I was found. I stated multiple times I was unconscious.
I'm sorry to those that have also experienced the shitty mental health system in the UK. Sending love to you all.
- I took 15g of SN in 100mls water.
-I didn't 'admit' I didn't take antiemetics, I couldn't because of the medication I am on already.
- I don't know when I was found. I stated multiple times I was unconscious.
I'm sorry to those that have also experienced the shitty mental health system in the UK. Sending love to you all.
Roger
I Liked Ike
- May 11, 2019
- 972
That is EXACTLY how it is. Force you to stay alive but don't help you survive. So you end up going round in ever decreasing circles.
CyanideSoup
Memento mori
- Oct 1, 2019
- 463
No, I haven't discussed the timeline with him. It's uncomfortable and I really don't want to know the details of how he fount me right now. I'm sorry if I'm being defensive but it honestly feels like I'm being judged for not offing myself right and it's upsetting. So yes I would like to drop it.
It is a good thing you are there rather here in the USA. It is shockingly easy to end up in the psych ward here and they can end up keeping a person for months or years if the doctor is not satisfied with your level of improvement. If you know how to give the answers they are looking for, you can get out pretty quickly. It is even worse if one is military veteran. The Veterans Administration has a huge number of Psych Wards and Rehabs and they try to keep them as full as often.
SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
So saddened to read this post for a number of reasons.
As someone who has also failed a serious attempt, I know where you are coming from and the whole host of emotions you are feeling right now. Anyone here or anywhere else that wants you to write down the ins and outs of the last fart you had, tell em the STFU. There is a time and place for that and its not now. You did your best to inform others here of your attempt, that is more than enough. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get a grip.
I know crisis teams well and they are far from perfect. They have no mental health qualifications and are there just to check that you are not a immediate threat to yourself or others. Its not a perfect situation by any means. I was being visited by a different person every day and eventually got sick and tired of repeating myself over and over. Thats when I started to make all the right noises so that they would just leave me and my poor partner alone. Even she got sick and tired of them.
I think the vast majority of what I read her is compassion and empathy for you. Dont allow anything or anyone to taint that. The overall support from this place is amazing but there will always be the odd dickhead who knows no better. Ignore what you dont like, respond to what you do like if you feel up to it, but dont think you owe any of us here a damned thing, YOU DONT!
As someone who has also failed a serious attempt, I know where you are coming from and the whole host of emotions you are feeling right now. Anyone here or anywhere else that wants you to write down the ins and outs of the last fart you had, tell em the STFU. There is a time and place for that and its not now. You did your best to inform others here of your attempt, that is more than enough. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get a grip.
I know crisis teams well and they are far from perfect. They have no mental health qualifications and are there just to check that you are not a immediate threat to yourself or others. Its not a perfect situation by any means. I was being visited by a different person every day and eventually got sick and tired of repeating myself over and over. Thats when I started to make all the right noises so that they would just leave me and my poor partner alone. Even she got sick and tired of them.
I think the vast majority of what I read her is compassion and empathy for you. Dont allow anything or anyone to taint that. The overall support from this place is amazing but there will always be the odd dickhead who knows no better. Ignore what you dont like, respond to what you do like if you feel up to it, but dont think you owe any of us here a damned thing, YOU DONT!
CyanideSoup
Memento mori
- Oct 1, 2019
- 463
Just want to thank everyone for the love and support both here and in PMs. I'm sorry if I've come across cold in my previous comments. If people want to ask anything specific please feel free to PM me. It's a bit easier to open up privately, especially since there's a lot of pro lifers lurking recently. Im struggling to come to terms with still being here, more so because it's due to my own errors rather than the SN itself. But thank you all again, I really appreciate the support I've had here as I don't really have any IRL.
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
Purely hypothetical.. and a bit Corny.
What if you had a bottle, but made a fake label for KCN? (Potassium Cyanide) I wonder if you could fool a new medic into giving you too much blue.
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
Methylene blue is not the best treatment for cyanide poisoning, sodium Nitrite is. Quite a twist isn't it. Cyanide poisoning is not as common as it once was.
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
Wait, though this is known it hit me how nice it'd be to change the label to that. Except for the tiny detail of being blue, of course... Is it possible they could be fooled at all? I mean, what is nicer than a bunch of do-gooders pumping more SN in you?
In the end, a blood test tells what is going on. Medics don't do blood tests but may notice the brown coloration of the blood due to SN poisoning. It is pretty noticeable. They can make a pretty good guess of cause from that.
Chronicillness
Experienced
- Jun 19, 2018
- 236
A racing heart is suffering and not peaceful. Another OP who just CTB said the same thing about his/her heart. SN doesn't seem like it would be a great fit for the neurotic types who need a profoundly anxiolytic and soporific effect to overcome their survival instincts to the very end. I have overdosed on an opioid and long-acting benzodiazepine mixture and that was extremely peaceful.
I'm really turned off by SN now.
I'm really turned off by SN now.
Same here :( But it's the only method I have available. I really wish I had ordered Fentanyl when I had money and was less disabled.
Chronicillness
Experienced
- Jun 19, 2018
- 236
What's the Psych Ward experience like as an adult in the US? I went as an adolescence and it was horrifically mortifying how I was coerced into taking dangerous psych drugs over major depression that had a more organic cause. I'm curious to how they change their protocols/tactics to "treat" those granted agency by the state at 18+.
SN sounds terrifying and I think at this point hanging looks much more appealing to me.
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Partial or full? Since I'm disabled/housebound, partial is my only other potential option so it's something I was looking into as an alternative to SN, but I worry about the willpower involved; at least with SN, once you swallow it, I guess that's all the work done.
Chronicillness
Experienced
- Jun 19, 2018
- 236
Not sure yet, I don't know the technicalities of hanging quite yet, mainly because N was the focal point of my plan to CTB. Taking a pill really makes it easy, that would be my ideal, but N is a pipe dream for me, I think. I haven't given up hope on it yet.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
god that sounds awful -one flew over the cuckoos nest vibe-I wonder if there has ever been an expose/ in depth docu- i bet loads of shit goes down -most places where you find vuneral people and a collective of people in power over them-and there will be cases of malpractice/ ill treatment etc
where did it say racing heart in this thread? I couldnt see
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If one is worried about a "racing heart" certain beta blockers can help alleviate that side effect. Propranolol is a good one for just that purpose because it helps you with the other SN side effect which happens to be a headache. Propranolol is also cheap and easy to get a script for. Not everyone that takes SN is conscious long enough to experience the side effects.
