allym101
Ally
- May 29, 2020
- 277
I don't know if anyone else is experiencing this but I'd like to put it out there. I'm am extremely suicidal and I won't stop at anything until I succeed, however I've noticed that whenever I think of suicide or planning it I'm never sad. I don't seem to cry or get upset, it just feels normal. I honestly can't remember the last time I had a passionate crying session. When I get deeply hurt I find rather than crying I feel a super sharp pain in my chest and I just sit there. Maybe I'm just weird I don't know. It's almost like I'm suicidal yet I'm not fully "depressed"? I still manage to take care of myself daily but I obsessively think about suicide and I know I was born to die. The thought about living is the only thing that seems to really stress me out and make me want to cry which is odd as it should be the other way around for any normal person. 8 days left though... I'm not gonna fail again. I'm promising myself that I won't fail.