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Walkingcorpse123

Walkingcorpse123

My only friend, the end
Jul 9, 2021
44
Im either depressed or delusional. It seems like I can only feel joy if I have some kind of delusion I believe on. Usually it is something spiritual. I can't enjoy any activity for the sake of it.
Im tired of lying to myself then facing the truth later on and getting depressed again. It's like a cycle repeating itself. I love death. Wish I could surrender to my love.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,193
I'm sorry you are suffering. Life really is tiring. In my case, being depressed is certainly rational. Any kind of hope would be delusional for me. Death is also a comfort to me. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
 
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Walkingcorpse123

Walkingcorpse123

My only friend, the end
Jul 9, 2021
44
I'm sorry you are suffering. Life really is tiring. In my case, being depressed is certainly rational. Any kind of hope would be delusional for me. Death is also a comfort to me. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
Well written all around. Yes death really is the light in the darkness for those who suffer whatever they try or don't even bother trying anymore.
 
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hummmingbird

hummmingbird

Member
Sep 8, 2021
22
The only time I feel at peace is when I am fully immersed in nature and the purest forms of life. The second I step back in to "reality", it's like a dark blanket is placed over my soul and I feel as though there is no escape. There is no peace among humans - the ego is too involved.
 
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callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,234
Im either depressed or delusional. It seems like I can only feel joy if I have some kind of delusion I believe on. Usually it is something spiritual. I can't enjoy any activity for the sake of it.
Im tired of lying to myself then facing the truth later on and getting depressed again. It's like a cycle repeating itself. I love death. Wish I could surrender to my love.
Wait, how did you know what am I thinking every other day?

Just swap spiritual with philosophical and political and it's spot on.
 
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callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,234
Idk maybe we are dying. I think I should have used word "idealistic" instead of spiritual actually.
Which leads fo cynicism? That's usually where idealism leads.
We are going away alright.. guess you just know when life is not one of your things.
 
Walkingcorpse123

Walkingcorpse123

My only friend, the end
Jul 9, 2021
44
The only time I feel at peace is when I am fully immersed in nature and the purest forms of life. The second I step back in to "reality", it's like a dark blanket is placed over my soul and I feel as though there is no escape. There is no peace among humans - the ego is too involved.
Have you ever considered that maybe there is no soul and you are the ego and nothing more? How do you get fully immersed in nature? Don't you see yourself as a part of the nature?
 
hummmingbird

hummmingbird

Member
Sep 8, 2021
22
there's definitely a separation- at least in my experience. it can certainly be different for everyone, I suppose it's something you decide for yourself. maybe it helps me cope. and exactly - I am part of nature so the way I feel most at peace is when I am only by myself and no other distractions.
 

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