Venting Rough Day

[Memento]

God, today really sucked. I feel so tired and fatigued. I can stop thinking about how useless I am, how little worth I have. I hate living my life, I can't stop thinking it would be better if I wasn't born, because I would never have to experience so much pain, loneliness, and isolation—I would never have to live in a cult (Jehovah Witness) and have my only purpose being told to me my whole life who obedience and service to it. I want to ctb so bad, I could be free from it all. I want real relationships with people who will love me for I am. And never experiencing something like that hurts. Never celebrating your birthday hurts, never being able to interact with the world and feel so out of touch and alone is cruel, having to act fake around the people you love because they would never accept you for who you are is fucked up.

Why did it have to be like this? Why was I born to live in this hell?

I just want to be in peace, quiet and gentle peace from the world I had no choice living in this way.

But I'm glad to be be here, it provides an escape for me, some comfort, and I'm grateful for that

 

[Holu]

God, today really sucked. I feel so tired and fatigued. I can stop thinking about how useless I am, how little worth I have. I hate living my life, I can't stop thinking it would be better if I wasn't born, because I would never have to experience so much pain, loneliness, and isolation—I would never have to live in a cult (Jehovah Witness) and have my only purpose being told to me my whole life who obedience and service to it. I want to ctb so bad, I could be free from it all. I want real relationships with people who will love me for I am. And never experiencing something like that hurts. Never celebrating your birthday hurts, never being able to interact with the world and feel so out of touch and alone is cruel, having to act fake around the people you love because they would never accept you for who you are is fucked up.

Why did it have to be like this? Why was I born to live in this hell?

I just want to be in peace, quiet and gentle peace from the world I had no choice living in this way.

But I'm glad to be be here, it provides an escape for me, some comfort, and I'm grateful for that

Whilst I can never truly understand you, I can very much empathize with what you're saying. I'm sure for many of us that's how we all feel, despite the different genetics and experiences that have built us. And for that I'm truly sorry about what you're going through.

As long as you're still on this earth know that you will always have a place amongst us. We, the wicked and forsaken, gotta stay together in this lonely ass world. All love to you. Hope your tomorrow goes better. Keep strong soldier.

On a different note out of curiosity what is your view in religion. Do you believe in God? Do you wish you were a different religion? I'm genuinely curious to know if it wouldn't be too much issue to share

 

[uniqueusername39]

Would you still want to CTB if you were out of that cult? Maybe your first step should be getting your footing, earn money and therefore independence, and walk away. I know it's not that simple (since I heard you get ostracized by your family and friends from JW) but it has been done, so it can be done (I've heard a lot of cult stories especially over at reddit, and you may find an exJW community there that can help you out better than I can). What do you think?

 

[Memento]

Whilst I can never truly understand you, I can very much empathize with what you're saying. I'm sure for many of us that's how we all feel, despite the different genetics and experiences that have built us. And for that I'm truly sorry about what you're going through.

As long as you're still on this earth know that you will always have a place amongst us. We, the wicked and forsaken, gotta stay together in this lonely ass world. All love to you. Hope your tomorrow goes better. Keep strong soldier.

On a different note out of curiosity what is your view in religion. Do you believe in God? Do you wish you were a different religion? I'm genuinely curious to know if it wouldn't be too much issue to share

Yeah of course, I have atheist beliefs, I definitely don't wish I was born in a different religion, but respect them of course, everyone should have the freedom to believe what they want. And I think there is a clear distinction from religions and cults ( as JW's have a governing body and hierarchy of leadership).

Would you still want to CTB if you were out of that cult? Maybe your first step should be getting your footing, earn money and therefore independence, and walk away. I know it's not that simple (since I heard you get ostracized by your family and friends from JW) but it has been done, so it can be done (I've heard a lot of cult stories especially over at reddit, and you may find an exJW community there that can help you out better than I can). What do you think?

Thank you for all this. I do definitely want to leave the religion, it's just hard leaving everything behind and being shunned from your family and friends who you truly love and care for. I know I need to do this, and looking for exJW communities are a good step in the right direction.

 

[Holu]

Yeah of course, I have atheist beliefs, I definitely don't wish I was born in a different religion, but respect them of course, everyone should have the freedom to believe what they want. And I think there is a clear distinction difference from religions and cults ( as JW's have a governing body and hierarchy of leadership).

Thank you for all this. I do definitely want to leave the religion, it's just hard leaving everything behind and being shunned from your family and friends who you truly love and care for. I know I need to do this, and looking for exJW communities are a good step in the right direction.

So much suffering for a false god. Shit man I'm sorry about everything. Regardless of your love for them don't let their fuckery drag you down with them. You seem smart, mentally strong, and capable. If you have the possibility for an out, pursue it. Worse comes to worse than pain eats you up and you escape into bliss. Me and everyone else in the community here for you in the meantime. Amongst the lonely you are not alone.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really awful being trapped in that situation, the fact is that there could never be anything fair about existing in this hellish world where people suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway, I wish you the best.