Rope length?

[lifeispain0216]

so, as mentioned im planning on attempting partial suspension hanging tomorrow/today since its midnight where i am when im writig this. i have bdsm rope for this purpose and i cant buy anything. however this rope is quite long and i cant cut it in the event of failure as it doesnt belong to me. how should I go about shortening it without cutting? should I loop it around my anchor point until its an appropriate length or potentially double it up?

unrelatedly, should i delete my account before attempting or wipe my internet history of the site? i know you've all had some very negative attention of late and i dont want my death to add to it. i hate the fact that "my body my choice" seems to end at suicide. i should have every right to hit the off button on this experience if i so choose. i know it hurts others but if i dont die this way i will die eventually most likely in a more painful or humiliating manner, god forbid i live long enough to develop dementia! i dont "deserve" to live because my life is horrible so when anyone says that i feel like they're saying that i deserve to suffer for an indeterminate amount of time or ,even if my life improves miraculously, that i deserve to die unexpectedly with no chance to say goodbye to those i love. sorry, rant over. thanks for reading and for any advice provided.