Venting Romanticization of the NEET "lifestyle" (and poor mental health in general)

[scary]

Lifestyle in huge quotation marks because I sure as hell didn't choose this. I know that it's a combination of many things in my life that were out of my control that led me to this point but I still feel like such a worthless waste of space. These types of posts I used to see on the internet before I purged all of my socials just made me feel more isolated and alone. On Twitter with the drawings of anime girls in messy rooms filled with wrappers, monster cans, and rifles saying shit like "uwu i'm just a smelly failgirl femcel!! do you wanna hear me sperg about my autistic interest?" or the TikToks where people talk about "bedrotting" for a day only to immediately mention doing something like going out with their group of friends. It's all so tiresome.

I have no doubt in my mind that some of the people who make these kinds of posts are struggling in some way, everyone has different ways of coping right? I don't know what everyone is going through. But I've seen so many cases of it being portrayed as a cool/quirky thing to the point where its starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's quite literally isolating and tiring not being able to leave your house and interact with people, but excuse me for being the fun police.
(Completely ignoring the fact that the people who joke about it are the same ones who turn around and say you're disgusting for not showering due to said depression)

I just love being alone with nobody irl to confide in, trapped in a dark room either sleeping or being on my devices. I love not having the energy to take care of myself and having to cut huge chunks of knotted hair out that have become impossible to brush as a result of laying in my bed all day. I love being autistic and scaring off/weirding out everyone I've ever tried to talk to and make friends with. I love being too fucking stupid and anxious of people to go back to school. I love crying myself to sleep every night.

I wish I was the cute fetishized NEET instead of the pathetic loser NEET. Maybe if I learn how to draw in a garbage gooner bait animu style and post to Xitter i'll gain a scarebillion followers to commission me so I can buy SN or even N if that's possible where I'm from. My kawaii neet girl drawings will help me escape from this surely. Wish I actually had the energy and motivation to get back into art though, I miss being a kid who loved to draw.

 

[Karrikin]

NEET is a technical acronym. Even then, the connotation with it has become something that, as you mentioned, has become fetishized. I do not qualify as a NEET, despite being such a shut in I'm still in education, and I guess I try to maintain my room completely barren and sterile. Still -- even without having to be a part of it --I guess the way in which that sort of culture has become romanticized is no surprise. I remember that whole goth or punk era was looked down upon and now look at how its also become romanticized. I guess with all of that considered, I don't think any of what these "larpers" online say is all that valid. The gooner bait and idyllic NEET is a fantasy by people who only have a very ignorant understanding of what it's actually like to be living in those conditions. I don't know, just seems like fetishizing an aspect or side effect of depression...

Anyways.

 

[fishperson]

fuck my chungus hikikomori life

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I literally uwu talk online sometimes. It doesn't help. The issue is that some NEETs inherently can't be romanticized by the average population due to our "bad hygiene" and other things related to... you guessed it... DISABILITY. The closest a lot of us will get to the fetishy NEET label is to hit up a disability fetishist, and trust me, it ain't worth it.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I just love being alone with nobody irl to confide in, trapped in a dark room either sleeping or being on my devices. I love not having the energy to take care of myself and having to cut huge chunks of knotted hair out that have become impossible to brush as a result of laying in my bed all day. I love being autistic and scaring off/weirding out everyone I've ever tried to talk to and make friends with. I love being too fucking stupid and anxious of people to go back to school. I love crying myself to sleep every night.

the tiktok/twitter version of neets honestly makes me want to kill myself more than i already do. being a neet is idealized here too, as well as having a chronic illness, or cancer. it's awful that people will wish to have something that others already have, just the real version of it instead of the one they're imagining. it's incredibly isolating, embarrassing, and depressing to be a neet and bedrotting isn't a cute term for "being in bed and scrolling on my phone, then going to see my friends later". it's being in your bed for days and days and never leaving your house. bedrotting and doomscrolling aren't hobbies you can pick up and put down. the same people that say they do it will judge you for being boring.

i know that i'll never be the cute depressed girlfailure people imagine me to be. i wish that mental issues weren't sexualized so that they appeal more to the general public like a social contagion. it's really tiring to be in a situation that doesn't look like it'll get better and there's 0 people in your life that are there to support you. being socially anxious and depressed just makes people want to get away from me. i'm a lesser person for not being cute enough to be fetishized.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

I think others have said what needs to be said, the people online are ignorant of people who are neets, in theory I think I can classify as neet but I am employed from time to time.

But I kid you not I'm tired and I thought the green chair was big smoke from San Andreas

 

[fishperson]

I wish we could add each other , and have our lil neet friend group. but we are probably barely going to interact and its gonna be very gloomy. but sometimes it feels good to have people relate to the chaotic sleep schedule, eating patterns , psychotic behavior etc... instead of getting shut down by a friend saying they are going to work now and u feel even more miserable cause u got nowhere to go. and the only thing u can do is speedrun to find anything that can take ur attention away before ur intrusive thoughts/ memories come back to haunt u...

 

[Captain laser]

"i wish i had a depressed mentally ill girlfriend!!" no you dont, kiss her and you'll realize she hasnt brushed her teeth in 6 months, shit they'd probably say "oh i love girlsmell :3" or some bullshit like that

 

[kunikuzushi]

NEET just means not in employment education or training. Maybe you mean shut-in or hikikomori? I really do understand what you mean though about those things making you feel more isolated.

I've been a NEET for 7 years, and it's torture. I do go out with people quite frequently, and I do romanticize this lifestyle because they are ways to cope. Maybe because of this, others can't see that I'm hiding severe constant pain. So I guess we'll never know others' full story just from what we see on the internet, or even in real life.

 

[fishperson]

NEET just means not in employment education or training. Maybe you mean shut-in or hikikomori? I really do understand what you mean though about those things making you feel more isolated.

I've been a NEET for 7 years, and it's torture. I do go out with people quite frequently, and I do romanticize this lifestyle because they are ways to cope. Maybe because of this, others can't see that I'm hiding severe constant pain. So I guess we'll never know others' full story just from what we see on the internet, or even in real life.

Tbh having people i could go out with irl, would have definetly made me feel a bit better. Although when i think of how ugly my homeland is... sigh

 

[kunikuzushi]

Tbh having people i could go out with irl, would have definetly made me feel a bit better. Although when i think of how ugly my homeland is... sigh

it eases my pain and keeps me from feeling trapped inside my apartment. but it doesn't solve my problem of being unable to function in society. it also gives me so much shame because I'm around people that have jobs and money and good mental health, while I'm just a useless loser.

 

[fishperson]

it eases my pain and keeps me from feeling trapped inside my apartment. but it doesn't solve my problem of being unable to function in society. it also gives me so much shame because I'm around people that have jobs and money and good mental health, while I'm just a useless loser.

yep i have an irl friend. he sometimes visits where i live and asks to go out , and i refuse to cause it would make me miserable to see him doing much better than me.
i like it for him but i hate it for me , u know?

 

[Asya]

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[jengablocks]

super validating thread ... especially the contrast between people romanticizing severe mental illness and then turning around to condemn, like, the most typical symptoms of severe mental illness ever. and with such genuine disgust and vitriol, too.. i had to cut my hair because of the same thing! it was knotted together in dense, rock-like clumps. before that i didn't shower for years at a time.

i think i was not smart enough to pinpoint the dissonance there before

 

[eggsausagerice]

There's the ones that say they totally want one as a partner. Let's be so real, you only enjoy this in concept. As soon as my mental and life issues show even a little bit you're gone. I've experienced it a thousand times. Then there's the ones that think it's just an aesthetic.

reiterating the murder thread, i think we should kill people who want to pull a depressed/hiki girl just because they imagine one that isn't suicidal or has issues that make it hard for them to function in society. most depressed girls that guys are trying to pull usually want to kill themselves instead of wear oversized clothes and have eyebags. back in high school this was still a thing, where popular girls would say that they're introverted but they have 20 friends and are in 2 different friend groups. i still don't consider my sister an introvert because she has the energy to stay in touch so many people. she takes it for granted and thinks me being a socially stunted neet is a way better life. most people think it is when they first meet me until they realize i've basically done nothing with my life besides go to community college, drop out, and hook up with trans chasers so that i wouldn't get misgendered. i've cut out a lot of people in my life my sister would've kept as friends because i can't stand to be around people when i hate myself.

https://files.catbox.moe/kwohkm.mp4

loled

 

[kunikuzushi]

yep i have an irl friend. he sometimes visits where i live and asks to go out , and i refuse to cause it would make me miserable to see him doing much better than me.
i like it for him but i hate it for me , u know?

i get you. i hope you can find some company without having to feel that

 

[Asya]

reiterating the murder thread, i think we should kill people who want to pull a depressed/hiki girl just because they imagine one that isn't suicidal or has issues that make it hard for them to function in society.

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[scary]

"i wish i had a depressed mentally ill girlfriend!!" no you dont, kiss her and you'll realize she hasnt brushed her teeth in 6 months, shit they'd probably say "oh i love girlsmell :3" or some bullshit like that

Exactly, they want one until they actually get one.. then suddenly its "damn bitch you really live like this?"

super validating thread ... especially the contrast between people romanticizing severe mental illness and then turning around to condemn, like, the most typical symptoms of severe mental illness ever. and with such genuine disgust and vitriol, too.. i had to cut my hair because of the same thing! it was knotted together in dense, rock-like clumps. before that i didn't shower for years at a time.

i think i was not smart enough to pinpoint the dissonance there before

I'm so glad I'm not the only one, like I said it's all fun and games until someone actually shows signs of a mental illness

I think others have said what needs to be said, the people online are ignorant of people who are neets, in theory I think I can classify as neet but I am employed from time to time.

But I kid you not I'm tired and I thought the green chair was big smoke from San Andreas

yeah, I can see it

 

[TAW122]

I have been a NEET many periods of my life, during my 20's on and off, didn't really have any real employment until almost 30, then pandemic hit and was NEET for a while until early 30's when I became gainfully employed, then lost it became a NEET again for a while, and then had employment and most recently, just got off from being 3-5 month NEET (though technically unemployed for more than half a year) recently.

With regards to the lifestyle itself, I would say it feels liberating at first to be out of a structured, obligated routine (get up early, show up to work, grind for 8+ hours (depending on the work), then go home, most of the day already gone, have a few hours of downtime and then just go to bed to rinse and repeat for 5 more days until the weekend (days off) just to recharge to grind for another set again..). However, after a while especially after over a month or two, it starts to slowly get stale, not that I liked working and things, but even living at home with my family/parents, there is some shame, be it judgment or even with other people who question "Hey TAW122, what do you do for a living?" or similar questions, the societal pressure is real, not to mention family/parents pressing me to find employment again (understandable why and also while living under their roof...) Though if I had my own place, I'd likely have much more bills to pay (rent, utilities, food, and other things) unless I just happen to have seven figures to spend (which I don't and the vast majority of people don't either...), so that's scary in it's own reality as well, fighting to not be homeless or end up on the streets.

So in short, yeah NEET may be relief and cathartic for a while, but given all the realities that come with it, it is not a glamorous lifestyle as many people romanticize it to be.

 

[Fresh Soju]

...people who question "Hey TAW122, what do you do for a living?" or similar questions, the societal pressure is real...

If you are or can pass as young it helps to say you're studying X, with X being whatever you're studying at home by yourself.
I used to be honest and say I'm on welfare and people's attitudes would always instantly change, but now that I'm studying I get asked if it's hard and they wish me luck, lol.

 

[SatinSoul]

the tiktok/twitter version of neets honestly makes me want to kill myself more than i already do. being a neet is idealized here too, as well as having a chronic illness, or cancer. it's awful that people will wish to have something that others already have, just the real version of it instead of the one they're imagining. it's incredibly isolating, embarrassing, and depressing to be a neet and bedrotting isn't a cute term for "being in bed and scrolling on my phone, then going to see my friends later". it's being in your bed for days and days and never leaving your house. bedrotting and doomscrolling aren't hobbies you can pick up and put down. the same people that say they do it will judge you for being boring.

i know that i'll never be the cute depressed girlfailure people imagine me to be. i wish that mental issues weren't sexualized so that they appeal more to the general public like a social contagion. it's really tiring to be in a situation that doesn't look like it'll get better and there's 0 people in your life that are there to support you. being socially anxious and depressed just makes people want to get away from me. i'm a lesser person for not being cute enough to be fetishized.

I couldn't agree more with everything you just said. It is honestly incredibly scary how depression has been turned into a sort of kink over the last few years, while somehow completely leaving out the incredibly awful, nasty, and ugly sides of the illness.

Who would have guessed that the real, agonizing consequences of severe depression don't fit neatly into a curated 10-second short? The reality is way too dark for them, and the algorithm just filters the truth out anyway for being "too sad." It completely erases the actual suffering and isolation people go through.

The fetishization of the girlfailure trope is spot on and makes me sick. Honestly, I think a big part of it is that people just really like the idea of a naive, easy-to-manipulate, desperate girl with low self-worth. Which is a whole other terrifying conversation on its own.

I am so sorry hun you have to deal with watching people wear your reality like a trendy aesthetic. You are absolutely not a lesser person for not fitting into their weird, sanitized fetish, and you aren't alone in seeing exactly how messed up this whole social contagion is. <3