Venting Right after the happiest moment of my life it feels as if my life is crumbling

[wuhwowthisis]

Always seems to work out this way
Feels like I always get constant awful life changing news after im really really happy
The only real family I have left is my mom she just fucks with my brain, she says she is supportive but its only superficial
Got a gun so I guess its only time now till I stop being a coward and end it all
Don't know where I'll do it though, I don't want to do it at home where my mom will find me

 

[painful existence]

You don't have to feel like a coward for not being able to CTB.Survival instincts have made it difficult for many of us to not CTB even though rationally it might be a better choice.I personally have chickened out at last moment myself.
Also whatever you do please do it safely.(Failed attempts might leave you with permanent damage).So it is better to research completely about the method of your choice rather than surviving the failed attempt and ending up disabled for rest of life.

 

[Sweet Tart]

Sorry, it sounds like you got some really bad news recently.

I hear you about having (what sounds like) an emotionally abusive parent as your primary support. That's me, too! It sucks! I need help badly and the only one willing/able to help is my mom- whose idea of help= control.

It's kind of you to not want your mom to find you.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly very cruel how people suffer so much, I find it awful how existing here can very easily just get worse. But anyway best wishes.

 

[lachrymost]

The best, most triumphant moments in my life only precipitated this hell. It wasn't worth it. The irony is a death sentence.

 

[Aloneisbestforme]

Your not a coward.

Ctb is extremely hard mainly because of si (Survival instincts) and maybe some other reasons like people finding you and stuff.
It's so sad though that ctb has to be this hard

I wish you the best and I hope you can find your true freedom soon

 

[cemetorium]

I wish you the best. Things tend to work out in the same way for me. I always end up getting even more depressed after my life gets even a little bit better.