
Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,203
This controversial and looked down upon. And I get it. It in't good to manipulate ones emotions at the expose of your own. And since you'll be dead anyways you won't be able to see the impact of your suicide. Also, its really just a blow to yourself since you are giving someone/people ao much power you are ending your life for them when suicide should be about the individual. I am aware of all these things. However I really feel like I have no power in my life. Trying to get a job to eventually move out of home is a pain. I may get a job as a cashier (the employer seems interested) and I recently became a dog walker. I also graduate soon and other things. But regardless, I want to die everyday. My abuive mom robbed me of everything and many abusers I have encountered broke me beyond repair. I should use suicide for myself but I keep thinking of using my death to hurt others as a massive "fuck you you made me die" sort of thing. It seems in reality people don't care about your pain when you are alive but surprisingly care when your dead. I just want people to care and I feel if I have to die for it, then I will. thats how desperate I am.