amerie
eyekon
- Oct 6, 2024
- 932
I guess recovery seems like a decent enough place to post this in.
I'm sure quite a few of us here have shitty parents who get off on provocation and screaming about something random or reminding you about how useless you are, or just in general are around douchebags who ONLY talk about themselves for entire hours, often repeating things they've already mentioned 7 years ago about how life was "soo cruel" to them and how they hate everyone because they've wronged them in some way, but god forbid you try to talk about yourself, switch the topic to something positive, or just in general say "I'd like to use the restroom please" or "I need to do something else"
Then you're "evil" because you're ignoring them despite all the "great things" they've done in your favor, or they just ignore your additions to the conversation and continue speaking about themselves.
I'm here to remind you that you cannot win. These people only value themselves and you are just an object used to supply the fantasy in their heads about their self importance, they don't love or care about you and they will do anything to ensure that their fragile ego stays inflated even if it means battling their loved ones and straining relationships. Once you realize this and accept that they're not going to change, you will be a lot happier.
The best possible thing you could do is going low/no contact for your mental peace, but in this economy that's not something that's realistic for the large majority. So in this post I'm going to give tips on how to utilize grey rocking.
- Try to avoid interjecting with ideas or personal opinions, you're going to get ignored or they'll get butthurt for you not agreeing with them. Instead, utilize one word answers like "yes" "no" "mm", third one especially because it's vague enough for them to think that you give a shit.
- If they start yelling at you randomly or trying to provoke you in any manner, just stare at them. Don't talk, don't argue, don't get visibly upset, reminder you cannot win. Just stare and eventually they'll leave you alone.
This may not work for everyone, but it's helped me deal with my piece of work father. He for some reason is unable to register that I'm not interested in the conversation despite not even looking at him.
I'm sure quite a few of us here have shitty parents who get off on provocation and screaming about something random or reminding you about how useless you are, or just in general are around douchebags who ONLY talk about themselves for entire hours, often repeating things they've already mentioned 7 years ago about how life was "soo cruel" to them and how they hate everyone because they've wronged them in some way, but god forbid you try to talk about yourself, switch the topic to something positive, or just in general say "I'd like to use the restroom please" or "I need to do something else"
Then you're "evil" because you're ignoring them despite all the "great things" they've done in your favor, or they just ignore your additions to the conversation and continue speaking about themselves.
I'm here to remind you that you cannot win. These people only value themselves and you are just an object used to supply the fantasy in their heads about their self importance, they don't love or care about you and they will do anything to ensure that their fragile ego stays inflated even if it means battling their loved ones and straining relationships. Once you realize this and accept that they're not going to change, you will be a lot happier.
The best possible thing you could do is going low/no contact for your mental peace, but in this economy that's not something that's realistic for the large majority. So in this post I'm going to give tips on how to utilize grey rocking.
- Try to avoid interjecting with ideas or personal opinions, you're going to get ignored or they'll get butthurt for you not agreeing with them. Instead, utilize one word answers like "yes" "no" "mm", third one especially because it's vague enough for them to think that you give a shit.
- If they start yelling at you randomly or trying to provoke you in any manner, just stare at them. Don't talk, don't argue, don't get visibly upset, reminder you cannot win. Just stare and eventually they'll leave you alone.
This may not work for everyone, but it's helped me deal with my piece of work father. He for some reason is unable to register that I'm not interested in the conversation despite not even looking at him.
