Regret for past mistakes

[TheBlackSwordsman]

Anyone else experience crippling regret, shame, anger and self-loathing for very poor past decisions that irreversibly damaged and negatively altered your life? I can't undo the damage I've done to myself. Im not really alive, I haven't been for a long while. I wish I wasn't in such a firearm restrictive state(New York) or I think I'd go purchase a gun and put a hole in my head. I cut off everyone in my life(family, friends) that is not my parents or siblings/niece/nephew. I haven't spoken to friends some in months, most in many years. I haven't gone out to do anything other than go to work in almost a decade. I just can't find the desire nor see the point in continuing to live. I'm so far away from being normal like people in general, I always have been. I hate myself.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

From today's POV I made a lot of wrong decisions in my life that ultimately led to the fact that I made an account here. If I decided "the opposite" at crucial points in life and didn't make other mistakes thereafter I wouldn't be here. That's a lot of IFs ...

I don't hate myself for making the wrong decisions more so I'd say luck left me but since I stopped fighting destiny I found a base and life currently isn't further declining. All is on a low level.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Not crippling regret, I don't dwell on the past and am a very future-oriented person. But I can't have a decent future because of the mistakes I made (some were 100% my fault, some weren't exactly my fault). So I kind of understand what you are going through. I stopped living long time ago, I am merely existing.

 

[Nothing87]

Anyone else experience crippling regret, shame, anger and self-loathing for very poor past decisions that irreversibly damaged and negatively altered your life?

Yes, I did many bad decisions in my past and I absolutely regret it, as much as I tried to fix my life there's nothing I can do I still fall in a hole of regret and shame.

Though I am slowly accepting the past but I still can't make a peace out of it, I just accept the past as part of my life.

 

[Gangrel]

Yeah basically. I took a lot of bad care of myself. I dropped out, barely tried, i had no energy. Now i'm getting older and have even less. Idk how people do it.

Also feel guilty because i was shitty fucking person. Made lots of mistakes i deeply regret, hurting some people... keeps me awake at night sometimes with great anxiety.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I do strongly feel all those things you mention but not for poor past decisions that altered my life. I did make a bad decision that altered my life but I don't beat myself up about that anymore. I realise I had limited knowledge when I made the decision and people were deliberately keeping things from me and wanted me to fall so they could be in control. A person with better self esteem and a support system would not have stuffed up there life. My family just blamed me. I had a colleague who was subjected to the same thing I was and made the same decision but she didn't stuff up her life, because she had a supportive husband and finances. Sometimes it's easier to blame ourselves, especially if others do it too, but it's not always justified.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Yes, I have horrible regrets. I seem to have been inclined to take the wrong forks in the road too often. The thought of living for decades replaying the same mistakes over and over is daunting. I wish I could just beam out of here.

 

[SVEN]

I am very sorry for hurt I caused unthinkingly to those who loved me unquestioningly.

 

[hamleic]

i regret what I did. big time. cabt function normally now so i just wanna end it now.