Reflection on my decision to lose virginity in Amsterdam last year

[TAW122]

As some of the older members on here probably know, I made threads regarding the issue of losing my virginity and what not last year, in 2019. During that time, from April 2019 until September/October 2019, I was wrought with torment about the ever pressing issue of virginity. Yes, I know that for some people it isn't a big deal, but once again, for someone who was a virgin until (just less than half a year ago) his 29th birthday, and given his personal life circumstances, it is a big deal. Upon reflecting back on my decision, I still believe I made the best decision in regards to my issue and have no regrets as I genuinely believe that this would have been the most optimal way to go about doing so. Here is a thread (from last year) that talks more in detail of everything that lead up to it (up to the time where I lost my virginity).

With that said, here is a table (shown below) describing the pros and cons of losing virginity in Amsterdam, Netherlands versus Nevada, USA. This will include the cost, logistics, environment, legality, and other factors.

Losing Virginity	Amsterdam, Netherlands	Nevada, USA
Pros (advantages and positives)​	Legal and easier to access and more in abundance in quality and choice. Prices are much cheaper than the US. Service is generally high quality and prompt. Much more things to do in the city than in the state of Nevada. Public transportation is good and can get around places easily.	No need of obtaining a passport (if US Citizen) so easier to get to. If you like the desert biome and don't mind the warm temperature, then this would be ideal. Can also have high end services that are enjoyable.
Cons (drawbacks and negatives)​	Requires traveling out of the country (if from US and not in Europe). If getting the cheaper services, it is generally worse in quality. If you don't like the humidity, it could get worse in hot seasons, such as summer or late spring.	Costs a lot for similar services compare to other countries. (Can easily cost high three-digits, or even four-digits in price) Legality is an issue and only legal in various cities and counties in the state of Nevada. The vetting process can be long and tedious. Not as convenient when getting from place to place and other places require renting a car/vehicle to access. If you don't like hot weather, then this would not be the place to go.

This is just a brief overview of the pros and cons of each place based on my experience and research. Others' may have different experiences, but the bottom line is that I chose to lose my virginity and did so in Europe than the US, because it was easier to access, less hoops to jump through (due to it being legal in Amsterdam), more affordable (I did the math on this and still came out cheaper in Europe than in the US, including logistics such as lodging, food, travel, and of course the services, etc.), and also, managed to get a trip out of it as I never been to Europe before that time.

In short, I still stand by my decision and this is just a thread to show how I analyze things and my thought process when it comes to decision making as well as getting things done. Of course now with the stupid covid-19 pandemic going about, going to get laid (even legally) would be very challenging and difficult, but nevertheless, if/when this pandemic is over and a vaccine is available, even if it takes years, others who may consider going about losing virginity this way may find my thread useful.

 

[Mr2005]

I thought you were female

 

[mesohappy]

Or you could just go to the local massage parlor.

 

[TAW122]

I thought you were female

No, I'm male.

Or you could just go to the local massage parlor.

I don't think that would have worked out because at that time, I didn't know of any and also hearing the ones in the news (in the US that is) that got busted and other cases, it has deterred me from taking a "chance". I (at the time) would rather not risk getting into a sting and/or into a bad situation with no recourse so I went for the legal option. Europe was still cheaper and easier to access for me compared to the US, at least in Amsterdam. In short, I spent around $1600 USD (including flight, hotel stay, food, travel expenses, and of course, getting laid) during my 1 week stay there. I could probably even go cheaper than that, but rather enjoy my time in Europe while I'm there. Thanks to someone who told me of a brothel in Amsterdam, I managed to get what I am going for and much, much cheaper than what I would have paid for in the US. The service was also very nice too and fulfilled my expectations. Another thing is that when I'm there, it was very straightforward, I've just negotiated what I wanted and for what prices, then I pick the person I wish to have intercourse with (with a condom of course) and then they just went straight to business. It was a pleasant experience for me the first time, was nervous but learned a lot as well.

Had I gone through with the US, it would have cost me easily more than $2K USD, sometimes more since there is only one state (Nevada) in which paying for sexual services is legal and even then in various counties. Also, ever since 2018 (the FOSTA-SESTA act being passed), it has affected the sex industry tremendously. This isn't even considering the grey area of escort services in the US, with all the hoops and going about complicated ways, screenings, negotiations just to be able to see an escort in the US. Then of course, there is the problem of having no recourse if something ever gone wrong, such as getting robbed, scammed, tricked, or getting ripped off, etc. The reason why it would be expensive in the US at least in Nevada brothels is due to supply and demand as well as legality issues. Since it's the only state with legalized prostitution and only then, in various brothels (with more of them closure year after year), demand is just as high but supply is even less. High triple digits and quadruple digits would easily wipe out a lot of my budget at the time which I can't afford, then of course airfare (while cheaper, is still like $200-300 USD depending on the season too), not to mention the cost of hotels ($80-$120 per night which is more than Europe if I remember), then having to rent a car (also additional costs like $100 or so per day and stuff) to get around since the brothels are located at secluded areas (like a 1-2 hour drive).

So overall, Amsterdam beats Nevada by a lot, plus I got to see Europe for the first time in my life, which was a worthwhile trip.

 

[mesohappy]

Im glad you got what you wanted and it was a meaningful experience,and well thought out mission.Right on,bro.

$100 bucks tops at massage parlor,all you want,very nice women,in and out back home in less than an hour.

 

[Kyrok]

Excellent decision.

People in emotional pain because they cant get laid need to just get it over with.

Finding love and companionship, of course, is a different challenge.

But no one with a couple hundred bucks should remain a virgin if they dont want to.

Pay for it, get the weight off your psyche, move on. Then, if you ever get into a relationship, just lie about your sex history (e.g. some chick made the rounds in high school, drunk party, brief fling, whatever).

 

[Ko9]

Proud to be fucking Dutch right now.

 

[mesohappy]

Excellent decision.

People in emotional pain because they cant get laid need to just get it over with.

Finding love and companionship, of course, is a different challenge.

But no one with a couple hundred bucks should remain a virgin if they dont want to.

Pay for it, get the weight off your psyche, move on. Then, if you ever get into a relationship, just lie about your sex history (e.g. some chick made the rounds in high school, drunk party, brief fling, whatever).

Why lie about the sex history,not like she is having you fill out an application and checking references..Tell her that you have been with two..She will tell you the same anyway.

Slappin uglies is something that keeps us going sometimes..Sex aint the end all,be all of this world...Maybe Im way outta line,wouldnt be the first time.

The sex is overated anyway..Temporary band aid.

 

[LoNatural]

I also lost my virginity to a prostitute, I had an amazing time and It was a truly memorable experience. But I wouldn't say that, overall, I've lost my virginity. Sure I've had sex but It didn't offer the validation one would get from a girl who is genuinely attracted.

I'm still trying to improve my looks and status to, at least once, experience true validation from a woman, prostitution can be great but honestly, if I could go back in time I'd focus my efforts on attracting a woman for that first time.

 

[TAW122]

Excellent decision.

People in emotional pain because they cant get laid need to just get it over with.

Finding love and companionship, of course, is a different challenge.

But no one with a couple hundred bucks should remain a virgin if they dont want to.

Pay for it, get the weight off your psyche, move on. Then, if you ever get into a relationship, just lie about your sex history (e.g. some chick made the rounds in high school, drunk party, brief fling, whatever).

As for your fourth sentence, a lot of people probably wish to but are mostly unable to do so because their country or where they live it's illegal, which requires a lot of maneuvering through gray areas and other seedy processes (with a high risk of getting scammed, robbed, cheated, or otherwise unwanted consequences) before they can get it. Also, to get to a place where it's legal, it requires much more than just a couple hundred bucks so. While I've been fortunate enough to amass the means to do so, I do feel for those who aren't as fortunate both financially and other circumstances preventing them from doing so.

In regards to the last paragraph, yes I agree with it and as far as whether one decides to 'lie' about one's sexual history, well it depends on the person so it's hard to say. I would more likely just come out clean and if the potential gf, wife, FWB. I stand by my decisions and have no regrets. I wouldn't have done anything differently because I know what I do is right for me and can defend my decisions, choices.

Why lie about the sex history,not like she is having you fill out an application and checking references..Tell her that you have been with two..She will tell you the same anyway.

Slappin uglies is something that keeps us going sometimes..Sex aint the end all,be all of this world...Maybe Im way outta line,wouldnt be the first time.

The sex is overated anyway..Temporary band aid.

I suppose to answer the first question, it's more about social status and trying to protect one's own dignity. Society places a huge stigma on males who are virgins, so a lot of males (not saying all) will likely 'lie' when asked by their peers or friends in order to avoid embarrassment. As for the other part, well for people who have experienced it, they would be able to easily say that but for those who wish to obtain it but have a difficult time doing so (I was in that situation too in the past).

I also lost my virginity to a prostitute, I had an amazing time and It was a truly memorable experience. But I wouldn't say that, overall, I've lost my virginity. Sure I've had sex but It didn't offer the validation one would get from a girl who is genuinely attracted.

I'm still trying to improve my looks and status to, at least once, experience true validation from a woman, prostitution can be great but honestly, if I could go back in time I'd focus my efforts on attracting a woman for that first time.

Fair enough and yes, to some people the validation is more important, but for me, I simply just wanted to get it over with before becoming that 30-year old virgin, 40-year old, virgin, etc. There is nothing wrong with that, but personally, I just like to get that off my back so I won't have to keep "wondering" for many more years (assuming I lived that long).

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Wow, sounds like you planned everything out to lose your virginity like wrapping up a neat little package! Very logically thought-out lol.

And so you ACTUALLY feel better after the act of coitus? Like, it was THAT much of psychological burden on you being a virgin? Damn. We live in such a fucked up society. Honestly, it should happen when it just feels right and NOT for the sake of being pressured by idiot culture. I'm not gonna lie and say sex isn't a big deal because honestly, to me anyway, it's like one of the peak human experiences. But it SHOULD happen between people who actually care about each other; I think it's an inherently sacred thing.

Anyway, enough of that overly sentimental rubbish, if it's allowed you to move on and put you in a better place in life, good for you bro! Has it positively affected your dating life now; you're able to go out there etc? I'm really reconsidering things myself. Maybe I'm just overthinking everything (again) and maybe I would be in a better place in my life if I just whored myself out there lol. Who knows.

 

[TAW122]

Wow, sounds like you planned everything out to lose your virginity like wrapping up a neat little package! Very logically thought-out lol.

And so you ACTUALLY feel better after the act of coitus? Like, it was THAT much of psychological burden on you being a virgin? Damn. We live in such a fucked up society. Honestly, it should happen when it just feels right and NOT for the sake of being pressured by idiot culture. I'm not gonna lie and say sex isn't a big deal because honestly, to me anyway, it's like one of the peak human experiences. But it SHOULD happen between people who actually care about each other; I think it's an inherently sacred thing.

Anyway, enough of that overly sentimental rubbish, if it's allowed you to move on and put you in a better place in life, good for you bro! Has it positively affected your dating life now; you're able to go out there etc? I'm really reconsidering things myself. Maybe I'm just overthinking everything (again) and maybe I would be in a better place in my life if I just whored myself out there lol. Who knows.

Thanks, and yes because it fulfilled my curiosity as well as losing my virginity (more the former than the latter). As for your thoughts on it, yes, ideally that is how it is expected for most people, but given my personal circumstances and how my life played it, I took the most logical choice. As for how it affected my dating life, well not much has changed and I still prefer a solitary lifestyle than to share it with a partner (more of a personal choice). Anyways, I hope you are able to obtain your goals, whether it be in dating or romance.

 

[terry_a_davis]

OP I haven't seen in this thread what did you actually thought of the experience ie did you enjoy it (might be a stupid question)? were you nervous etc? Was the person nice to you, patient etc? Did she know it was your first time? Were you attracted to her?

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I honestly don't think I'd be able to go through with something like that. At the risk of sounding like a sissy/pansy, I think I'm actually yearning for more of a connection. I dunno, I guess I'm pretty selective (starting to think it's not really an advantage). Kind of wishing I wasn't. I'm kind of envious of others who can just instantly connect and bond over amusing/trivial things and experiences and just shag away. Rinse and repeat. They just roll with it. I don't think people like that ever think of offing themselves. They truly enjoy life. God bless 'em.

Anyway, I think I've only really felt a a connection with one girl my entire life. It's pretty embarrassing. I feel so stupid. I feel like I'm being punished for being a fucking loser. Because I was a loser in high school and never got around and got laid and never got to experience this stupid feeling of "lurve," I didn't fully experience it in its entirety: the fact it doesn't last; it makes you sad; there will be other people to be stupid over; it's probably not ultimately worth it etc. I would have learned those life skills early on to move on. But nope! Dealing with it now, at this awkward age! Fuck me, right?

 

[TAW122]

OP I haven't seen in this thread what did you actually thought of the experience ie did you enjoy it (might be a stupid question)? were you nervous etc? Was the person nice to you, patient etc? Did she know it was your first time? Were you attracted to her?

I thought it was a pleasant experience and no regrets. Yes I was nervous but the sex worker was nice to me. She did tease a bit about my virginity and relaxing (was nervous because it was my first time having intercourse so I had a lot to learn most of which can only be learned from experience and being in it). I would say I had some lust towards her, but feelings, no.

I honestly don't think I'd be able to go through with something like that. At the risk of sounding like a sissy/pansy, I think I'm actually yearning for more of a connection. I dunno, I guess I'm pretty selective (starting to think it's not really an advantage). Kind of wishing I wasn't. I'm kind of envious of others who can just instantly connect and bond over amusing/trivial things and experiences and just shag away. Rinse and repeat. They just roll with it. I don't think people like that ever think of offing themselves. They truly enjoy life. God bless 'em.

Anyway, I think I've only really felt a a connection with one girl my entire life. It's pretty embarrassing. I feel so stupid. I feel like I'm being punished for being a fucking loser. Because I was a loser in high school and never got around and got laid and never got to experience this stupid feeling of "lurve," I didn't fully experience it in its entirety: the fact it doesn't last; it makes you sad; there will be other people to be stupid over; it's probably not ultimately worth it etc. I would have learned those life skills early on to move on. But nope! Dealing with it now, at this awkward age! Fuck me, right?

Understandable and no sweat, just go with whatever you feel comfortable with.

 

[zeroambition]

I hate being a virgin but I can't do anything about it because I don't have the confidence to hire a sex worker due to having social anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder. Whenever I see couples in my age group it triggers suicidal thoughts because it reminds me of how I'm unwanted and not good enough because of my unattractive appearance.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I thought it was a pleasant experience and no regrets. Yes I was nervous but the sex worker was nice to me. She did tease a bit about my virginity and relaxing (was nervous because it was my first time having intercourse so I had a lot to learn most of which can only be learned from experience and being in it). I would say I had some lust towards her, but feelings, no.

Sounds better than my first time, mine was terrible lol I lasted literally about 1 second, i think i got my wotsit in about an inch and it was all over.

 

[omoidarui]

Sounds better than my first time, mine was terrible lol I lasted literally about 1 second, i think i got my wotsit in about an inch and it was all over.

at least that means the other person was hot

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Sounds better than my first time, mine was terrible lol I lasted literally about 1 second, i think i got my wotsit in about an inch and it was all over.

Oh mercy! lol And don't mean to make this threaded too graphic, but was it more of a "depressed come" or "anxious come"? lol I think there's actually a difference. I went to a strip club one time, just for the experience, and was offerered a lapdance. So I accepted, just for the hell of it. I think I just lasted one song lol. There was a point where I was just like, "Am I about to??? Yes I'm about to" *Jizz*. I think that was a depressed come. Sigh, maybe if the stripper and I had an actual connection I would have lasted longer lol. But yeah, I don't think those places are for me.

 

[terry_a_davis]

Oh mercy! lol And don't mean to make this threaded too graphic, but was it more of a "depressed come" or "anxious come"? lol I think there's actually a difference. I went to a strip club one time, just for the experience, and was offerered a lapdance. So I accepted, just for the hell of it. I think I just lasted one song lol. There was a point where I was just like, "Am I about to??? Yes I'm about to" *Jizz*. I think that was a depressed come. Sigh, maybe if the stripper and I had an actual connection I would have lasted longer lol. But yeah, I don't think those places are for me.

Mine was an anxious come lol! I was nervous as hell. I've been to a lapdancing club too, idk if yours was the same (sounds like) but the dancer rubbed her body against my member a lot which i didn't expect as she said to me firmly before the dance "no contact". I didn't come but wasn't far off. There was no connection of course but she was really really hot. I only went the once too, not for me tbh, but an experience i'm glad i had.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

For those who read this thread and consider a massage parlor for sexual services...

Go in the first time with the intention of getting a legit, legal massage. Don't ask if a happy ending is available, just observe. Be respectful. Enjoy the massage and don't be creepy. Don't drop hints. If it's that kind of place, I would assume they will make sure you know. I've not been in one personally.

I was a licensed clinical massage therapist and a damn fine one. I loved my job. Legit, massage-only massage therapists get creeped on and don't appreciate it. Irl, please don't call massage therapists "masseuses." Please treat all of them, as well as their work, with respect. Assume that they do not offer, ahem, additional services. If they do offer such services, they will make it known, because they want the increased pay that goes with it. A legit, massage-only massage therapist is never going to drop such hints or in any way initiate sexual contact.

Legit, massage-only massage therapists are trained to make sure they don't reveal intimate body parts or do anything invasive or that can be misconstrued as sexual. They carefully drape the sheets so that they don't see anyone's junk, and for glute massage only reveal about half of the butt cheek. If they work on the coccyx, they make sure to not go dipping into the butt crack.