NoOneKnows
Specialist
- Sep 12, 2018
- 323
Hi again, soon I will go through with my ctb plan, however knowing my "luck" so far, there is a high chance - no matter how prepared, thorough, thought through my plan is (last one I planned only 3 years) - that I fail and end up in psych ward. I really hope I can write it briefly and comprehensively. Dont wanna discuss now all the trauma and horrendous things I witnessed there, many of you experienced it, long term what is the most damaging is forced medications, lately they come up here with slow release injections (nobody really knows how long they stay in the system and all their metabolites, therefore the damage is massive comparing to oral AP which half life is about 20 hours usually). I have never been psychotic, nor ever had paranoia,delusions etc...but the situation is rather impossible in my case, the relative I live with (i cant even call it what "it " is, cuz she doesnt desefve that title) is a master manipulator, plus she works in hospital (just an accountant, sucking up to dr) and whatever she says they listen to. (she likes to show me who s in control)They treated me really badly, cuz she portrayed a picture of completely different person to who I am. Anyway, what I am trying to say, is once I end up in psych ward, there is no way I can avoid high doses AP treatment, and stay for at least 3 months.
Maybe due to my catastrofic health condition (chronic inf, autoimmune dis.) I react particularly badly physically and mentally to antipsychotic ,I wrote about it before, in short mentally - heavy depression, complete anhedonia, inability to do basic self care, cant think,no memory,sleeping to up to 15hrs a day. Physically-hormonal mess up, lost period, increased hormones, severe metabolic syndrome-gained 10 kg in less than 2 mnths,lost almost all muscle mass, weakness, weird fat storage.
I tried to research how to minimize the absorption of these drugs, apparently male populations and smokers metabolize the drug considerably faster, Im neither of those.
I was wondering, maybe drug that stimulate dopamine release ,such as Adderall -in this country its not on the market, but there is Ritalin, to combat the dop antagonism of AP ? But where to get such medication. Or illegal drugs that target dopamine receptors and make the AP not being able to do such damage in the time I will be forcefully injected ?
I know this is rather specific question, but this is the smth that worries me greatly and reason why I am so stressed. In case I receive the AP inj. I can not do another ctb attempt for at least half a year, due to being lobotomized sick zombie that only sleeps . I would be grateful for any ideas <3
Thank you so much
Maybe due to my catastrofic health condition (chronic inf, autoimmune dis.) I react particularly badly physically and mentally to antipsychotic ,I wrote about it before, in short mentally - heavy depression, complete anhedonia, inability to do basic self care, cant think,no memory,sleeping to up to 15hrs a day. Physically-hormonal mess up, lost period, increased hormones, severe metabolic syndrome-gained 10 kg in less than 2 mnths,lost almost all muscle mass, weakness, weird fat storage.
I tried to research how to minimize the absorption of these drugs, apparently male populations and smokers metabolize the drug considerably faster, Im neither of those.
I was wondering, maybe drug that stimulate dopamine release ,such as Adderall -in this country its not on the market, but there is Ritalin, to combat the dop antagonism of AP ? But where to get such medication. Or illegal drugs that target dopamine receptors and make the AP not being able to do such damage in the time I will be forcefully injected ?
I know this is rather specific question, but this is the smth that worries me greatly and reason why I am so stressed. In case I receive the AP inj. I can not do another ctb attempt for at least half a year, due to being lobotomized sick zombie that only sleeps . I would be grateful for any ideas <3
Thank you so much
