Recovery vs suicide

[Life_and_Death]

I still want to die... Of course it's also night and I'm not on my meds. I'm seeing about changing that. Idk... I'll try it I guess. I can always come back to suicide at a later date.

 

[FriendofDeath]

True, you can always change your mind again later. And again, and again. No meds for me equals trouble. Mine now make me fairly numb, but without them I believe I'd be gone, either physically or mentally.

What's going on with you now?

 

[Life_and_Death]

What's going on with you now?

About the same as usual.

May I ask what you mean?
Mentally, externally, recovery, ect (although those are the only 3 I can think of)

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I know I ultimately want to CTB. I can generally enjoy life but the pandemic is making it hard and may drive me to CTB before my time.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I know I ultimately want to CTB. I can generally enjoy life but the pandemic is making it hard and may drive me to CTB before my time.

The pandemic won't be here forever. Depending on where you live. Of course a year or 2 does seem like a long time away.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

The pandemic won't be here forever. Depending on where you live. Of course a year or 2 does seem like a long time away.

Yes I agree, I am trying to make it through but now as we approach the 1 year mark it is bad. But if i manage to not CTB and make it through the pandemic I am glad at least that the pandemic brought me to this site to that I have the method ready. If I am ever diagnosed with a serious illness i am going to CTB straightaway and it will be helpful to have the SN on hand

 

[Life_and_Death]

Yes I agree, I am trying to make it through but now as we approach the 1 year mark it is bad. But if i manage to not CTB and make it through the pandemic I am glad at least that the pandemic brought me to this site to that I have the method ready. If I am ever diagnosed with a serious illness i am going to CTB straightaway and it will be helpful to have the SN on hand

Well, if you ever decide to I personally like the discord another member made. And I've added a lot of helpful recovery stuff to it that I plan on adding to.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/discord-for-people-to-support-each-other.56917/

 

[Deleted member 23885]

Suicide- if you can shoot your head off- is easier than recovery. Unfortunately, not all of us are Americans.
Imagine not having to run around in circles because of depression.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Suicide- if you can shoot your head off- is easier than recovery. Unfortunately, not all of us are Americans.
Imagine not having to run around in circles because of depression.

You get out of it what you put into it.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I still want to die... Of course it's also night and I'm not on my meds. I'm seeing about changing that. Idk... I'll try it I guess. I can always come back to suicide at a later date.

I came to recovery or thought I did a little while ago. Some days I'm almost over the edge- some days I'm on the edge. It's hard but my situation as you know, my older son is.. dead. The 3-4 weeks or so my younger son & I were chatting more and playing a video game and on discord- well it turns out he was just getting me past Oct 13th... I destroyed my relationship with him when his older brother died. There's no fixing that, no recovering from that ever- both one son who died and the other son buried me Oct 13th 2017 with his brother because I broke so badly.... So yes you can switch back and forth in and out... I hope one day you are able to spend more days IN recovery until one day you look back and say WOW I'm glad I'm here. I know I really wanted to die as a teenager- and getting to be a mom I'm glad I stayed here. Much love hugs to you on your path

Suicide- if you can shoot your head off- is easier than recovery. Unfortunately, not all of us are Americans.
Imagine not having to run around in circles because of depression.

Having a gun doesn't make anything easier. My older son, he died. He was man of the house and bought a gun for protecting us. Well when he died I have all his things because he was single. He was 25 lived at home to take care of me due to my health. Anyway, this gun is one that kills if shot in the right spot. I have thought over and over could I use HIS gun and boom done? no it's not that easy. First I would never disrespect my son by using his gun which was shot once the day he bought it. Second, what if I don't get the right spot? have you seen what it looks like to survive a self inflicted GSW? or laying partially brain dead dependant on strangers to care for you... so yeah having a gun doesn't make it easier. I only added this in because a few times I have seen others mentioning americans can buy guns... so to let you know having one isn't the answer.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I know I ultimately want to CTB. I can generally enjoy life but the pandemic is making it hard and may drive me to CTB before my time.

Yeah, but the end of the pandemic is seemingly in site, as vaccines are rolling out. Heard immunity is suggested once 70% of the population becomes vaccinated. Potential normalcy seemingly is right around the corner.

There are plenty of great reasons to CTB, and Lord knows I have more than my share, but for the pandemic to be a potentially significant factor at this stage of the game to trigger you indicates to me that you ought to figure out how to hang on for a couple of more months.

I suggest you do what you need to do to ride out these next several months, and then reassess. People who are CTBing, because of the pandemic, are oftentimes/most times suffering from depression, and depression is treatable.

I don't know your situation, but who knows, once things open up again (post pandemic) you (and anyone else reading) might develop a whole new appreciation of life.

You don't know what you have until it's gone.