D
dyingalone123
Experienced
- Sep 8, 2021
- 211
Reasons why I need to die
Perhaps all of these reasons will give me enough courage to overcome my survival instincts in killing myself.
Part of me hopes that this will devastate my parents. It's only then they will understand what depression is.
My friends - online and real life have carried me through. They've carried me enough. They've given me hope and have kept me alive for a couple of months. I no longer want to suffer and want them to suffer.
People often ask me why I don't kick my father out. I don't have the heart to do so.
- Parents abuse - My dad has been verbally abusive. Calls me crazy everyday in Chinese. Both of my parents think I am at fault for the relationship ending
- My father once said I was a slut. He said that no wonder why he left you. Look at you crying all the time.
- My mother thinks my crying will only make me worse. It's a form of relief for me. She accuses me of not stopping my depression.
- Parents wouldn't take me to a psy hospital. My mother values my grandpa over me. She doesn't want me potentially bringing home Covid
- I cannot cry at home without my parents yelling at me
- I wanted to move out at one point and to become independent. I no longer have independence at 30. I cannot cook for myself. I am a burden to them.
- My father has has enough and told me has has enough of me crying.
- The verbal abuse from my father makes want to die.
- They value their home over me. They were never thankful that I saved them in 2018. Not once were they thankful. All they are afraid of is me taking advantage of them. Well they can have their home back.
- I was raised to be my parents slave. I was to take care of them financially. I was their retirement fund.
- My mother choose my father over me.
- I cannot deal with the smoking and disregard my father has over my health and smell
- My dad calls me useless all the time
- I have insomnia, anxiety and depression,
Perhaps all of these reasons will give me enough courage to overcome my survival instincts in killing myself.
Part of me hopes that this will devastate my parents. It's only then they will understand what depression is.
My friends - online and real life have carried me through. They've carried me enough. They've given me hope and have kept me alive for a couple of months. I no longer want to suffer and want them to suffer.
People often ask me why I don't kick my father out. I don't have the heart to do so.
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