I think for me, I just dislike everything about living. For me, the problem is life itself. I see it as pointless and tedious. I just think I am not meant for this world, I have always seen life as a constant struggle. I have had bad luck and things have always went wrong for me. There is no limit as to how bad things can get either. The way I see it, I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced to live. I just want to be nothing. I simply do not want to experience life. I am better suited to non existence. I need to ctb to prevent decades of pointless suffering.