Realizing I have no choice again

[MisterOGBongWater]

I don't WANT to die
I don't like the idea. I'm scared of it. But I've left myself nothing. I've left myself no choice. I'm scared to do it. I'm scared of the outcome. I'm scared of failing, but I'm more scared to live than I am to die. I can see the pain in store for me day to day. I can see the constant dissatisfaction and disappointment with myself. I hate myself. I'm garbage. I'm a garbage person. My life is over. I've thrown it all away and now I'm procrastinating the final step of suicide. I can't even follow through. If I was worth anything I'd stick to it and I will. I'm scared but I'm more than ready at this point. Tired of waking up wishing I died in my sleep

 

[EternalSummer]

You put these feelings into words so well, i'm even gonna add it my suicide note so my parents and loved ones understand how i feel better.