jakerjays
Member
- Jul 29, 2025
- 70
I've been getting consistent nightmares since summer last year and I only recently came to terms with what caused them. I knew vaguely for a long time but was in plenty of denial.
I started talking to a guy and we met up soon after and got along really well. Long story short, he started (without permission) telling me about his sexual fantasies which involved me, at the time. He would tell me how he wanted to murder me in all sorts of different ways and take advantage of me while dead. This sort of conversation went on for weeks. I should've stopped it, but I liked the attention honestly. I liked that somebody liked me. We did go off and on in terms of talking, to be fair. There were lots of times where we would go a couple days without talking because they overwhelmed me. They psychoanalysed me a lot, to the point where I felt like everything I did was wrong and I felt overwhelmed with problems I didn't know how to fix.
They also had a twitter (and still do) where they would essensially post their every thought and they made posts about these graphic sexual fantasies about me on there. One time, amidst all this, I even met up with them alone in the woods, which was stupid and unsuprisingly their idea. They were just.. a lot. They started stealing things for me aswell which I found strange, considering how we had only met once. A lot of these things were also for sexual use. Anyway, on their twitter they also began to post self harm photos, but specifically ones where cuts appeared on their face. A particular trigger of mine is cuts on visible places, typically someones face or hands, so this was quite distressing. I ended up relapsing as the images were pretty much unavoidable. I am still struggling with that relapse.
All of this happened in time when I first started considering suicide, which might be related. They also attempted suicide not long before we started talking. I think they'd only gotten out of the hospital a few days before.
I don't know, I think I've been in a lot of denial about this stuff triggering my nightmares because it doesn't seem that serious, but hopefully making this post will help me continue to come to terms with it more. I still check their accounts a lot and consider messaging them again. We ended on a 'I need a couple days away from you' and I never texted back.
I started talking to a guy and we met up soon after and got along really well. Long story short, he started (without permission) telling me about his sexual fantasies which involved me, at the time. He would tell me how he wanted to murder me in all sorts of different ways and take advantage of me while dead. This sort of conversation went on for weeks. I should've stopped it, but I liked the attention honestly. I liked that somebody liked me. We did go off and on in terms of talking, to be fair. There were lots of times where we would go a couple days without talking because they overwhelmed me. They psychoanalysed me a lot, to the point where I felt like everything I did was wrong and I felt overwhelmed with problems I didn't know how to fix.
They also had a twitter (and still do) where they would essensially post their every thought and they made posts about these graphic sexual fantasies about me on there. One time, amidst all this, I even met up with them alone in the woods, which was stupid and unsuprisingly their idea. They were just.. a lot. They started stealing things for me aswell which I found strange, considering how we had only met once. A lot of these things were also for sexual use. Anyway, on their twitter they also began to post self harm photos, but specifically ones where cuts appeared on their face. A particular trigger of mine is cuts on visible places, typically someones face or hands, so this was quite distressing. I ended up relapsing as the images were pretty much unavoidable. I am still struggling with that relapse.
All of this happened in time when I first started considering suicide, which might be related. They also attempted suicide not long before we started talking. I think they'd only gotten out of the hospital a few days before.
I don't know, I think I've been in a lot of denial about this stuff triggering my nightmares because it doesn't seem that serious, but hopefully making this post will help me continue to come to terms with it more. I still check their accounts a lot and consider messaging them again. We ended on a 'I need a couple days away from you' and I never texted back.
