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T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
For anyone wishing a pretty decent account of one writer's depression, I can recommend the very thin book —almost a pamphlet— "Darkness Visible" by William Styron. I just read it —not sure how, as fucked as my concentration is— at the urging of my sister (who has spent time considering ctb). From it I offer this quote:

"…to the tragic legion who are compelled to destroy themselves there should be no more reproof attached than to the victims of terminal cancer."

It is a lucid and familiar account of what I expect many of us feel and endure.

He does document his ascent out of depression, courtesy of several weeks in a hospital —and while for a writer of his income and stature you can be sure it was a private hospital, it still sounds like a pretty crummy place to spend a couple months (which speaks volumes for what we here would be likely to experience in the low-budget version). He freely admits it was a crummy place, too, with idiotic staff. However, despite expressing his relief at emerging from The Pit, he isn't a pro-lifer, which is a relief.

It doesn't change that for me, at least, I am ready to ctb. I want to ctb, where he was clearly still resistant to the idea. And he does argue that friends and family urging the depressed to hang on are doing the right thing —for me that's getting bloody tedious. But it is a good and sympathetic perspective from someone who isn't proselytizing Thou Must Choose Life. I would recommend it to anyone here.
 
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sadak_the_wanderer

sadak_the_wanderer

An appropriate painting
Mar 19, 2018
245
It's been on my reading list. I had already done Autopsy of a Suicidal Mind and, more recently, the journals of Spalding Gray.

At some point, though, it's preaching to the choir. I've already made up my mind and I'm more interested in some of the more practical aspects of the endeavor.
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
I was especially interested in how his symptoms and some of his actions mirror my own.

But yes, practical aspects of the ideal final chapter are more useful at this stage of the game.
 
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