ImpairedLowlife
Empty and hollow
- Aug 3, 2020
- 407
One of my friends from this site finally took his life. I know he's been suffering for over a decade and he found his peace, but it was damn hard to lose him. I haven't properly slept for 2 days straight, because I promised to spend his last moments with him and bring some comfort as I could. And I did. I was the only person who did stay with him until the very end of it, wishing him the best luck and saying we'll met on the other side.
My attempts of socializing and finding new friends failed miserably, all the hope I got turned out to be false. Those emotional swings hurt like hell. As well as the neverending loneliness, which seems to be my fucking fate.
Not only that, but my relationship with one of my old best friends has turned into mess and I don't know when or even if it will ever recover.
That's not that big of a deal, but my haircut also got messed up from trying to cut off some curly hairs next to the ears and I'll have to get skin fade instead of growing hair some more out as I wanted before.
I wonder what more wonderful surprises are awaiting me in days to come..
Simply that's the worst New Year and I had some shitty ones already.
In general 2024 was pretty damn empty. Nothing really happened and the most notable things was me broking my fucking arm. Still not completely recovered from that btw. Oh, what does 2025 hold? Wondering if it will be even more fucked up than previous years.
Maybe that's the year I'll end my suffering and my pathetic existence. All of the attempts to recover and find happiness and something meaningful keep failing. Maybe it's simply not worth it to try it anymore.
Sorry for being all over the place with this. My mind fucking hurts and formulating adequate text is borderline impossible
My attempts of socializing and finding new friends failed miserably, all the hope I got turned out to be false. Those emotional swings hurt like hell. As well as the neverending loneliness, which seems to be my fucking fate.
Not only that, but my relationship with one of my old best friends has turned into mess and I don't know when or even if it will ever recover.
That's not that big of a deal, but my haircut also got messed up from trying to cut off some curly hairs next to the ears and I'll have to get skin fade instead of growing hair some more out as I wanted before.
I wonder what more wonderful surprises are awaiting me in days to come..
Simply that's the worst New Year and I had some shitty ones already.
In general 2024 was pretty damn empty. Nothing really happened and the most notable things was me broking my fucking arm. Still not completely recovered from that btw. Oh, what does 2025 hold? Wondering if it will be even more fucked up than previous years.
Maybe that's the year I'll end my suffering and my pathetic existence. All of the attempts to recover and find happiness and something meaningful keep failing. Maybe it's simply not worth it to try it anymore.
Sorry for being all over the place with this. My mind fucking hurts and formulating adequate text is borderline impossible
