yoda
New Member
- May 29, 2019
- 4
I purchased a .38 special a week ago and planned to ctb. I couldn't go through with it, in part I think due to my fear of "being alive" after pulling the trigger. My aim is fine but I don't trust it has enough power to do what I want. I've read that the .38 special is the "minimum viable" caliber, which isn't super re assuring in the moment.
So today, I bought a 12-guage shotgun, the "can't-fail" method. I want to just pull the trigger and be unconscious, no pain, just instant nothingness. I figure that instead of having a hole in my head, I'd go with just not having a head? Can't be aware and thinking after that!
Im taking some propranolol too also to help calm myself down, as I have anxiety issues.
Question: I have some "online friends" who I hang out with sometimes but never really talk to outside of hanging out sometimes (they haven't hung out with me in over a month). On one hand, I feel like I should let them know that I'm dying by suicide, because when we hang out, we get along pretty good? On the other hand, I feel like none of them are really close friends with me. Like, if one of them were to die by suicide, I'd like them to let me know! And I don't want to be rude and just disappear from them either. But they might not want to have me to tell them since we aren't super close friends? I'm autistic and have trouble with friendships and social things.
Should I let them know? I don't have anyone's emails and sending out a bunch of texts to people sounds like a bad idea. I was thinking of just making a post on social media, like a suicide note?
So today, I bought a 12-guage shotgun, the "can't-fail" method. I want to just pull the trigger and be unconscious, no pain, just instant nothingness. I figure that instead of having a hole in my head, I'd go with just not having a head? Can't be aware and thinking after that!
Im taking some propranolol too also to help calm myself down, as I have anxiety issues.
Question: I have some "online friends" who I hang out with sometimes but never really talk to outside of hanging out sometimes (they haven't hung out with me in over a month). On one hand, I feel like I should let them know that I'm dying by suicide, because when we hang out, we get along pretty good? On the other hand, I feel like none of them are really close friends with me. Like, if one of them were to die by suicide, I'd like them to let me know! And I don't want to be rude and just disappear from them either. But they might not want to have me to tell them since we aren't super close friends? I'm autistic and have trouble with friendships and social things.
Should I let them know? I don't have anyone's emails and sending out a bunch of texts to people sounds like a bad idea. I was thinking of just making a post on social media, like a suicide note?
