Does anyone else get anxious thinking about being punished for ctb? I have this thought in my head saying we need to live a life we are given and ending it prematurely is wrong. I don't know how much credence to give to it but it's there
Darkover
Archangel
- Jul 29, 2021
- 5,649
it's your life do what you want with it, life it's for individual to decide if it worth living or not nobody else can make that choice for you, at best you'll be reborn somewhere at worst your be nothing forever
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 45,761
It's best not to think about that in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with leaving this world, humans often invent theories in order to scare other people from going through with suicide, there is no evidence that this even exists.
I don't like to look at things as "right" or "wrong". The universe doesn't care about right or wrong. Stuff just happens and it doesn't have to make sense. Sometimes you get lucky and your life is good and other times it's not. You don't decide where you a born so it's kinda out of your control. It's your life and you should be able to do what you want with it as an adult. You didn't consent to playing this game, therefore you should not be forced to continue if you're not enjoying it. There are people who think suicide is wrong under any circumstance, regardless of context. These people are not rational because no rational person would come to this conclusion.
Life is not a gift. If anything, it's closer to a prison sentence for most of the 8 billion people on this planet. If the world was more civilized, every adult 21+ would be able to get euthanized by a trained physician. Instead, people attempt to restrict your access to painless/reliable methods while telling you to "choose life". These people are not about choice. They don't even care if you're suffering. If they actually cared then they would give you access to painless euthanasia. Or even better they could solve whatever problem you're dealing with. But that never happens cause that usually takes money and those people will not inconvenience themselves to help you. They're not reducing suicides. People who want to kill themselves will find a way. All they're doing is ensuring that the method used will be more likely to permanently damage someone or make them suffer in their final moments. If they're worried about impulsive suicide then they could add a 1-month waiting period before someone gets euthanized. But they don't do that because "suicide is never the answer." If you ask them why they go silent or mumble something about sin and a two-thousand year old fairy tale book.
In other words, don't listen to people who use words like "wrong" when talking about suicide. They just have a fetish for "saving" people from a magical scary place called hell.
Life is not a gift. If anything, it's closer to a prison sentence for most of the 8 billion people on this planet. If the world was more civilized, every adult 21+ would be able to get euthanized by a trained physician. Instead, people attempt to restrict your access to painless/reliable methods while telling you to "choose life". These people are not about choice. They don't even care if you're suffering. If they actually cared then they would give you access to painless euthanasia. Or even better they could solve whatever problem you're dealing with. But that never happens cause that usually takes money and those people will not inconvenience themselves to help you. They're not reducing suicides. People who want to kill themselves will find a way. All they're doing is ensuring that the method used will be more likely to permanently damage someone or make them suffer in their final moments. If they're worried about impulsive suicide then they could add a 1-month waiting period before someone gets euthanized. But they don't do that because "suicide is never the answer." If you ask them why they go silent or mumble something about sin and a two-thousand year old fairy tale book.
In other words, don't listen to people who use words like "wrong" when talking about suicide. They just have a fetish for "saving" people from a magical scary place called hell.
No it is not wrong, no 'anxious thinking' on my part---What's 'wrong' is that she was taken from this life(which she cherished),taken from my life, too soon--Her life ended prematurely, ruining my own life, so I see nothing wrong with ending mine
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
- Jul 1, 2020
- 7,031
im not worried about it because i believe all is forgiven after death and that there isnt 1 possible option but instead you get the one thats best suited for you.
makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,029
What is wrong for some, is right for others. The choice belongs to the one making the decision.
This is SO true. I hadn't really thought of that phrase like that before but that sums it up- it isn't a choice we're given. We're simply obliged to keep struggling through life.
In response to the original post, can I ask if you were raised with those ideas around you? I do fear some sort of punishment/ judgement if I go through with ctb. I think that's mainly because I have been around family members who have very certain ideas on things. I don't particularly agree with them but it's hard to shake these sorts of worries when they are ingrained and when we don't have anything to prove what is real.
I so often hear the argument that because there's no proof of a God/ heaven/ hell- it's nothing to worry about. It just doesn't reassure me though. There's enough to make me doubt the existence of all of the above certainly but not rule it out completely and if I can't rule out judgement/ purgatory/ hell- I think it's a reasonable nagging thought to have...
Sorry I can't reassure you but we're in the same boat by the sounds of it. Of course- all that awful stuff might well happen after a natural death too! Oh well...
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I do believe it is wrong to kill myself and leave my family with the problems it would cause them to live with afterwards.
But I also can't control the urge sometimes, as I have shown, and tried anyway, and I believe it is forgivable.
I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to do things differently. But that isn't how life works.
But I also can't control the urge sometimes, as I have shown, and tried anyway, and I believe it is forgivable.
I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to do things differently. But that isn't how life works.
Hirokami
Out of order
- Feb 21, 2021
- 607
I have a similar thought, though it's more concerned with failure. As an atheist, I don't believe in an afterlife, so I wouldn't be punished if I succeed. Failure, on the other hand, terrifies me. The true punishment is never being viewed as the same person ever again. For starters, I would be locked away in a hospital for god knows how long and forced to take ten different pills that will make me feel dead inside. And, if that's not enough, I will be under constant suicide watch by my loved ones. Even doing something as simple as getting a knife to chop vegetables will be met with suspicion, regardless of the method I actually used. My once quirky and edgy suicide jokes will be a reason to be concerned. And said loved ones, while they claim to care about me, will distance themselves from me subconsciously as they're hurt by what I've done. If I think I'm lonely now, a failed attempt would solidify that. And all of this assumes I wouldn't have irreversible physical damage on top of all that.
I failed a few times. Maybe not failed..I dunno. I just know I am still here.
One was accidental attempt that took off like a rocket. It effected the folks around me majorly. I'm sure others I work with and folks in community heard of it or have their own story. In the end in too miserable to give two farts what they think. I feel sorry for my fam having to face them and bear the burden. They never talk to your face about it or Anything/anyone.
My direct fam I have concern with. Them crying and upset and angry or confused when I was loaded on the ambulance. But they don't view me differently I don't think. They already knew I had these feelings, it just caught them by surprise when I did it. I think I worry them more than before. Some days I'm like nitroglycerin. Some days I barely sizzle. Since lowering the doses of the meds they had me on, the nitro is coming back.
One was accidental attempt that took off like a rocket. It effected the folks around me majorly. I'm sure others I work with and folks in community heard of it or have their own story. In the end in too miserable to give two farts what they think. I feel sorry for my fam having to face them and bear the burden. They never talk to your face about it or Anything/anyone.
My direct fam I have concern with. Them crying and upset and angry or confused when I was loaded on the ambulance. But they don't view me differently I don't think. They already knew I had these feelings, it just caught them by surprise when I did it. I think I worry them more than before. Some days I'm like nitroglycerin. Some days I barely sizzle. Since lowering the doses of the meds they had me on, the nitro is coming back.
sundown12
drama queen
- Oct 5, 2022
- 158
i have similar concerns as you. i feel like i will be scolded or something if i go up there after ctbing.
mandyjohnuk
Specialist
- Jul 6, 2021
- 388
It's wrong to murder a person. Yet the murderer when dead is probably reborn with no consequences. In life we all do things that are wrong but we are not punished in death. We live and we die. The process I feel is never ending.
makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,029
Maybe because we are both killer and victim both reward and punishment cancel each other out. Thus we reincarnate to try again!
mandyjohnuk
Specialist
- Jul 6, 2021
- 388
Had these thoughts since i started looking into buddhism, not really a punishment but more like my soul being nowhere and stuck with feelings of my last moments but worse, and that everything that is unresolved in this life in terms of my feelings and ego will be resolved in a much more uncontrollable way for a very long time untill reincarnation
But i dont see it being resolved either way in this life so im thinking maybe it doesnt really matter.
But i dont see it being resolved either way in this life so im thinking maybe it doesnt really matter.
Can i link videos here?
I think i watched a few videos about it but the most recent one i recall you can find by typing in youtube : sadhguru after death mind in hell
8minute mark.
My understanding is that by that belief, any unresolved issues in your mind are continuing after death but without the defense mechanisms of your mind or the ability of your mind to control the panic.
Scary, but also far fetched i feel.
Being agnostic is no fun
I think i watched a few videos about it but the most recent one i recall you can find by typing in youtube : sadhguru after death mind in hell
8minute mark.
My understanding is that by that belief, any unresolved issues in your mind are continuing after death but without the defense mechanisms of your mind or the ability of your mind to control the panic.
Scary, but also far fetched i feel.
Being agnostic is no fun
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