psychosis & life

[mave-with-life]

So I'll start off by saying I've been diagnosed and have been going to a doctor(psych) since I was 4 years old so resources and out reach aren't what Im looking for atm but rather emotional support because once I leave mania or my episode begins to lift up and reality sets in I realize just how much I hate everything and realize all the abstractions I made and why and I literally just want to fucking cry but I cant? So if anyone here experiences psychosis I wanted to ask for some advice on how not to lose meaning in life when it comes to shedding often umcomfortable but meaningful beliefs in a spirutal way It just hurts to lose that over and over again its like seeing a goddess and believing in her message only to have someone grab your arm and pull you right back to earth saying hey you know you dont deserve her love right? or even as if life seems it has no meaning left, the episodes I have give me a break from what little happiness I experience.
how do I find meaning in the simple and not the absurd ? or "delusional"

 

[Venus13]

I struggle with the same pattern. I don't know because it always comes back in the imagination and it always fades back out in the mundane.

I don't know the answer. I just wanted to say you're not alone and I hope whatever lifts you keeps its meaning and beauty to you. It's a creative spirit that brings this malady. I think humanity has this running desire in a way, that's why people love art and religion/spiritual ideas.

 

[BipolarExpress]

So I'll start off by saying I've been diagnosed and have been going to a doctor(psych) since I was 4 years old so resources and out reach aren't what Im looking for atm but rather emotional support because once I leave mania or my episode begins to lift up and reality sets in I realize just how much I hate everything and realize all the abstractions I made and why and I literally just want to fucking cry but I cant? So if anyone here experiences psychosis I wanted to ask for some advice on how not to lose meaning in life when it comes to shedding often umcomfortable but meaningful beliefs in a spirutal way It just hurts to lose that over and over again its like seeing a goddess and believing in her message only to have someone grab your arm and pull you right back to earth saying hey you know you dont deserve her love right? or even as if life seems it has no meaning left, the episodes I have give me a break from what little happiness I experience.
how do I find meaning in the simple and not the absurd ? or "delusional"

If I knew, I wouldn't be here. After my psychotic episode this year, I'm having a hard time finding meaning in life. All the things I believed, all the things I clung to, all the things I thought were going to change my life for the better—they're all products of my brain playing tricks on me. It's hard to come down from the high of mania, even WITHOUT psychosis. Psychosis makes it even harder, especially when you have grandiose delusions about being able to save the world through telepathic powers. (Well, those were my delusions, anyway. I had a real messianic complex.)