Help procrastinating ctb?

[catsandtraincars]

hi sasu!

i'm a long time lurker & finally made the jump to create an account when i ordered SN from DSL

originally when i ordered the SN, i assumed i would use the shipping time to "get things in order" so that way when it arrived i wouldn't have to wait anymore and could finally & quickly ctb…… lol

i have completely put off all the things i wanted to do/have in order and instead been wasting time. what's more, i don't even have a "plan". obviously i have my chosen method, but i haven't come up with my own protocol or chosen a date.

is anyone else in the same boat? i've wanted to ctb really really really badly for a really really really long time now & honestly finding a source for SN was a godsend and it's a huge comfort knowing it's coming. but i'm just not planning/prepping towards my death? i'm not cleaning my room, i've been debating writing letters, thinking about quitting my job, etc.

i keep asking myself if it really matters, i'm going to be gone, so really the only part that matters is planning the protocol, right? does anyone else feel like they have to "get things in order"? does it really matter?

idk! but wishing you all the best and hoping to talk and get to know the community some more:)

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I'm glad having it brings you comfort and that enough for now. Procrastinating CBT is perfectly ok as it is final and will always be around tomorrow, next week, next month. Don't pressure or rush yourself.

Enjoy the peace and don't anything till you're ready.

 

[Matchaaa]

i keep asking myself if it really matters, i'm going to be gone, so really the only part that matters is planning the protocol, right? does anyone else feel like they have to "get things in order"? does it really matter?

Hi, I'm like you, always wanting to arrange things perfectly before leaving. But actually, there's no need to rush. You can wait until you're truly at peace before making a decision. Because the CTB option always exists. I hope you can find peace.

 

[sanctionedusage]

im just fucking around so much. making yogurt n shit like i have all the time in the world.

 

[comeoutandhauntme]

i do the same thing. i haven't even ordered sn yet bc i just keep procrastinating it? partially out of fear of being caught but i think also bc then it makes it real. like oh yeah, i really do plan on dying. yk? not to mention i just procrastinate literally everything i do.

but like other ppl say, there's no rush. i hope we both one day no longer want to ctb, but the option is always there if we so choose. no need to hurry

 

[Always-in-trouble]

Yep, same here. I am always going to gravitate to comsuming pleasures that don't really improve my life fo as long I don't commit to it.

 

[catsandtraincars]

Hi, I'm like you, always wanting to arrange things perfectly before leaving. But actually, there's no need to rush. You can wait until you're truly at peace before making a decision. Because the CTB option always exists. I hope you can find peace.

thank you, wishing peace for you as well

im just fucking around so much. making yogurt n shit like i have all the time in the world.

yuuup, me with sims lol

i do the same thing. i haven't even ordered sn yet bc i just keep procrastinating it? partially out of fear of being caught but i think also bc then it makes it real. like oh yeah, i really do plan on dying. yk? not to mention i just procrastinate literally everything i do.

but like other ppl say, there's no rush. i hope we both one day no longer want to ctb, but the option is always there if we so choose. no need to hurry

i totally feel you, i don't think reality will hit me until i actually have the sn

hoping with you for that day, procrastination is a good thing for once:)

 

[vaas]

hi sasu!

i'm a long time lurker & finally made the jump to create an account when i ordered SN from DSL

originally when i ordered the SN, i assumed i would use the shipping time to "get things in order" so that way when it arrived i wouldn't have to wait anymore and could finally & quickly ctb…… lol

i have completely put off all the things i wanted to do/have in order and instead been wasting time. what's more, i don't even have a "plan". obviously i have my chosen method, but i haven't come up with my own protocol or chosen a date.

is anyone else in the same boat? i've wanted to ctb really really really badly for a really really really long time now & honestly finding a source for SN was a godsend and it's a huge comfort knowing it's coming. but i'm just not planning/prepping towards my death? i'm not cleaning my room, i've been debating writing letters, thinking about quitting my job, etc.

i keep asking myself if it really matters, i'm going to be gone, so really the only part that matters is planning the protocol, right? does anyone else feel like they have to "get things in order"? does it really matter?

idk! but wishing you all the best and hoping to talk and get to know the community some more:)

This is very normal, and I am happy that you were able to get SN, but the most important thing is that you are at peace with yourself where you apply the process. Do not rush and make a decision that you will regret, or you may rush and feel panic after taking SN. You will find yourself calling for help, which is not guaranteed that they will be able to save you, and if they are able, there is a risk of harm.
Take your time and reconcile with yourself. You do not have to leave work or your life. You can work and make a decision and do not care about the SN because its life span is very long.
hope you find your peace

 

[K14~♡]

Also procrastinating here. I made a list of things I should do before going, but I have not been doing any of that purposely lol. I haven't even figured out the setup yet for my method. I keep telling myself to figure it out on my free days or after I get home. But I feel lazy on my free days, and I always feel tired after getting home. My location for ctb is in my previous home, cuz I don't have my own room in my current one. I feel hesitant to try the setup in my current one, but having to go out just to figure it out makes me feel even more lazy. Then when I finally get the motivation and energy, it will be too late to go out TvT

Anyway just wanted to say that somewhere. I hope everyone's remaining time will be enjoyable ╰(*´︶ `*)╯♡

 

[Kirke]

Yes! I have a list of things I want to do before my attempt, and some are huge and silly, like changing my name and surname, lol. I know that everything that I've planned doesn't really mean anything at the end of the day, but I feel like they will bring me peace after I'm done with them. Sadly, my ambitions manifest themselves even in planning my death, so I have a lot of work to do, and my mental and physical resources are restricting me from accomplishing everything swiftly, thus pushing me towards procrastination.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Yes, totally relatable.