Probably beginnig my last week

[Nirrend]

Hi Ss members

I have just read the last few goodbye threads

It's always sad but I think I understand the state of mind that drives us to write our own.

I have spent a few days with the one I love and I still have a few days left with her.

What I'm getting from this is that it just makes it harder for me, because I'm not getting any better and it brings back guilt that we can leave people we love behind.

I did however (with the person I love) manage to have a discussion on this subject where she made me understand that she was worried that I was going to do it, I told her so as not to hide anything from her that one day surely, because I can't take it anymore.

She was sad but understanding. It really made me feel good.

So now I'm waiting to be alone and I think it will be the right time.

Things won't get better and I feel it.

My condition is getting worse, I don't have the strength to get out of bed and haven't for more than a day, all pleasure is gone and I don't even have the heart to come here anymore.

I used to enjoy talking here, but even now I feel that things are getting me nowhere.

To all the people who have said goodbye, sorry again, see you soon ❤
I was feeling too bad to share love and I hate myself for that

Anyway, I've never been so calm about ctb

I wonder what stage you are at in your lives

I send you love ❤

See you soon

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it can be hard to carry on existing when you feel so tired of everything, but it must be a relief to feel calm about your decision to ctb.
I wish you freedom from all suffering for when the time is right for you to leave.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Sending YOU love, @Nirrend.

 

[Hollowillow]

I feel the same my days are the same. I'm sorry that you've reached the end. I'm glad that you were loved. And going on your own terms. I wish I was so lucky I feel forced to jump off cliff of life like terrified lemmings. I hope that you'll go peacefully. I wonder if you're having a burnout from all the wonderful fun that you told me you pursued. I wonder if you'd be able to have more if you rested. But I feel like I will need to sleep a thousand years to rest from all the abuse I've got. So I understand I might join you soon.

 

[Nirrend]

Thank you for your kind messages ❤

I feel the same my days are the same. I'm sorry that you've reached the end. I'm glad that you were loved. And going on your own terms. I wish I was so lucky I feel forced to jump off cliff of life like terrified lemmings. I hope that you'll go peacefully. I wonder if you're having a burnout from all the wonderful fun that you told me you pursued. I wonder if you'd be able to have more if you rested. But I feel like I will need to sleep a thousand years to rest from all the abuse I've got. So I understand I might join you soon.

I'm sorry my friend ❤ you really deserve love ❤

 

[Dead Meat]

Sending you @Nirrend lot's of Love and peace your way

 

[Nirrend]

Sending you @Nirrend lot's of Love and peace your way

Thank you ❤

 

[madebrief]

I'm pleased that you have someone that you can share in confident and can understand your plans. Not many people have this and it ease your worries a small bit when the time comes.

It is sad that we have to make the decision and action ourselves to go esp when there is no more pleasure in life and too much pain to bear. I hope the calmness stays with you.

See you soon too.

 

[Nirrend]

I'm pleased that you have someone that you can share in confident and can understand your plans. Not many people have this and it ease your worries a small bit when the time comes.

It is sad that we have to make the decision and action ourselves to go esp when there is no more pleasure in life and too much pain to bear. I hope the calmness stays with you.

See you soon too.

I also hope, of course from one day to another, my mood is fluctuating from unbearable pain to void, but like you said, I wonder if I'll be calm even when this will be the moment

In any case, thank you for the support ❤