I hear about Christians and other folks just "trying to help" that come here with no idea how any of us really feel and I just want them all to disappear. I mean, I came here desperately wanting to ctb last April after some fucked up family shit that was that proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back". I googled something like "best suicide method" since I was new to the idea, and I found this place. Lately I've been reaching out to people individually, trying to spread some love around, just hoping that maybe I can make someone feel a tinge of happiness for a minute or even just a little smile. But my personal feeling of these "impostors" that come here just because they think what we do or think about is a "sin" (whatever the fuck sin even means) need to just disappear. I wish it were that easy but they're like roaches; they'll always be here infiltrating, trying to spread their message of whatever. I've had the luck never to have to speak to one but I can imagine what they tell people. Something along the lines of "don't do it! Eternal damnation awaits! Lake of fire! Ahhhhhh!". Luckily most of us are smart enough to be able to discern between a suicidal person just trying to get a sliver of recovery one day at a time and some Bible-thumping fucknard who just wants to score points with Jesus or whatever. Please, to the Christians here that are actually considering CTB, I mean absolutely no disrespect.
Anyway, my door is always open and I've found lately that talking to people on a one-to-one basis is helpful. Little weird though making friends and both of you knowing that you could both be gone in a few days to a week or whatever. But whatever, do you and I'll do me. I've got my method, albeit not my preferred one, but one that will do the trick nonetheless, and I still reach out. I feel like it might be my last mission before I go. Spread love for a day, see how it goes. Maybe repeat tomorrow. If and when I do CTB and I've been thinking it will happen in the next number of months (yep coming down to the wire here) I'd like to be surrounded by all of you that have brought me joy. I need you now and on my last day I'll need you all even more. I'll always do the same for you.

I guarantee most of those Christian fuckers that are "Doing God's work" or whatever they think are mostly from the United States. I live here in the U.S. too and it's about as backwards as you can imagine. I envy you folks from Europe.