Absolutely!
I go into work everyday. I try my best to be good at my job but I try even harder to project the image that I'm doing okay on the inside. I need people to think I'm just fine. That way they don't ask any questions. I hate questions.
I have to pretend at home. My actions have to convince my husband that I'm not thinking about trying again. If he suspected, he'd restrict my freedom, or scour the house for my SN and flush it down the toilet again.
I have to pretend when my mom calls. If she know how much pain I was in, she'd start to feel pain too. Since the first attempt she checks up on me everyday to see what my mood is like. I'm in absolute pain and always so close to erupting in tears. But to her, "I'm fine."
I can't wait to not have to pretend anymore.