Practicing my end

[lkjhgfdsa1]

The other day I bought a rope for full suspension hanging (my chosen method). I have been practicing my knots and attempting to hang for practice, but something was going wrong every time. I even posted that I thought I bought the wrong rope, but turns out I was just tying it wrong!!

Right now I'm in my room (while my family is also in the house, they won't come to my room tho) practical pratial as preparation for when I do full suspension.

I think I finally got all the steps down!!

It is really tempting to just give it a shot right now, but there are too many risks at this moment.

I just wrote this thread so I can share my journey to my peace

In the afternoon, I asked my mom to go for a walk with me in the woods. I was hoping we could have a peaceful walk and talk about everything, but it was so disappointing once again and we ended up fighting anyways.

I think it was just a sign for me to give up. I really wish we could have had a loving and peaceful relationship, but the demons in my head are too big to allow for any loving relationship. As for now, I am slowly able to come to terms with my end.

 

[tinydancer]

I hope you find peace whatever the outcome.

 

[Forveleth]

Congrats on getting it right! It took me a few tries to get it right myself and get comfortable with the feeling. Just be very careful with practicing. You can absolutely accidentally ctb during practice. Never assume you will stay conscious!

Hope you eventually find the peace you need whatever path you take.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best in your plans, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.