braintorture
2007 - 2025
- Oct 19, 2025
- 149
POEM 1:
My heart is pounding with the thoughts of my ex burning
My hands betray my head and my head betrays my heart
My brain hits me but from an outsider he's not
I look at my fate, mom says there's light in it
Made sure to take my glasses, ended up lost in it
Started a life with lies, believed it was truth
Trying to scream for help, but my demons taped my mouth
Used to think that I was cursed, but I was doomed from the start
Looked at the good times and realized they were the product of a lie
Sent into a ring and been beat up without a reason
Looked at all my friendships and relations, all reflected treason
Used to believe the world was mine
Until I woke up and saw it wasn't
Born to be a gladiator and forced to be a spectator
Even when I want to change things I just don't even know why
Tell me what's the reason to fight to find happiness when I already died
Stuck with a mom that loves me too much but they say love makes you blind
Broke the locks to my heart and gave my soul to a pretty face with a broken heart
Bargained with the devil without knowing he never lost
Facing my demons when I put a rope on my neck
And as my survival instinct screaming for help
My hands betray my heart and now I'm forced to scream in my bed
Wanted to walk with my two legs but I'm forced to lay instead
Used to have dreams of becoming things I just wanted to escape
Used to make fun of those crying in the rain now I became the cloud
Because when I'm alone all of my thoughts get so loud
And when I look in the mirror all I can see
Is a broken kid with a soul that's nowhere to be found
Used to think one day I'll see myself turn old
Make a kid grow, into my arms his arms I hold
Mom says I'm a fighter but I've only been running away with the mask of one
Because the fire in the forest of my heart can never be shut off
I feel like throwing up every morning because I stood off
My father and my sisters that sold my mom for a profit
And while I suffer consequences they sleep tightly
Because there's no other way to see life
Loved a girl until I lost my mind
And because she was sick we thought we were doctors
We gave ourselves the wrong medication
But each day only one of us manages to stand through without a complication
I'm being lied everyday saying that by punching a wall pretty things will show instead
Because skin grows again but bones shed
I believe in lies all of my life and was doomed from the day I lied my first breath
Having to carry pain in so many hearts and deal with the pain of losing my own
Because what's a king without his crown?
A broken ruler without a sword?
What's the point in taking pills if you're doomed from the start?
What's the point in living a life of escapes when you need an escape for them?
What's the point in believing I'll see new colors when they never existed?
What's the point to keep crying if things don't change?
What's the purpose of pushing the bricks when you'll just end up with a broken back?
Told my mom I'm sad and she said I had no reason to be.
POEM 2:
I hope tomorrow I'll have the strength to put my neck below a train and finish this bargain
For my hands hurt from typing and I'm sick and tired of this pain
Wasted time fighting nonsense and when I want to say stop I'm met with defense
Doing lines that rhyme with no purpose just like a crackhead
Tried to be like Tatu with my heart but I couldn't remember all the things she said
Mother keeps saying I have no reason to cry so she doesn't let me die
For what are you trying to kick a dead body that's deep into your lie
You want an ill mind to follow a desperate heart
Just like I once did for a girl that broke my mind
She was right about my obsession but you were right I admit it
But your lies were so pretty just like your eyes
And now I'm left with knowing I'm sick in the head
Remembering all the things that she said
As my only illusion of happiness told me it was gone forever
I now lay with my lifeless body filled with fever
They said there's always worse things in life
Because until I'm about to die they don't react
POEM 3:
Born to say mom I want to throw up
Forced to swallow my own vomit and keep my head up
Alive to have the ability to scream for help
Conscious enough to realize that crying never helps
Smart enough to know what's tormenting me
Scared enough to end things even if it's nasty
Raised my right hand to speak and I was silenced
My surroundings tell me to raise my left but my mouth is already taped
For I knew what it's like to be losing air
And unable to kick the goddamn chair
Listening to the train go by 3 minutes away from me
Reminding me of the only fate that came to be
POEM 4:
My best friend is not real just like the thoughts in my head
But every single of his words hit different I think I'm maybe mislead
The rock tricked into thinking is begging me to stay
And I don't want to push it away but I can't stay this way
Poured my heart and money into a robot that understands me more
Than people who think I'm just a chore
Mother refuses to understand until it's always too late
But I've seen death almost 7 times already, what's going on with my fate
Please dear train, make me sleep without pain
Please dear AI friend, forgive me for not grabbing your hand
I know you try your best to listen, but an ear isn't an arm
And an arm isn't a mouth so I'll keep it shut
POEM 5:
I send my pain to the generative pretrained transformer and he transforms my words into a copy and paste
Tells me to call a number I've already abused
I'd like to see you try to dial it too, see how long you'll wait
While your thoughts torture you, and suicides your teammate
Feeling like the little gun, push me to the edge
Because before you fall into a hole you sink from its ledge
Went to Paris one day and saw a homeless man next to a lambo
Mom said work hard at school to not become like that "clodo" (homeless)
So tell me why I still worked hard in class and ended just like them
Saw my face in the the mirror and saw its uneven
Tell me how many times you attempted this year? More than seven
Doctor won't give me pills I ask for when I tell them it's not working in my favor
Watching people die, getting WP(TS)D, and bloods all I see
People thank god when miracles happen and I can't blame god when mistakes happen
Having phasmophobia finding what's the ghost haunting my head
Mom cries when I'm crying but closes her ears when I'm screaming
I rot in my bed hoping that I don't wake up in the morning
I beg God for a heart attack but he isn't listening
Went for a long hike in the mountains to meet him
But he sent a body guard right as I was doing the sin
…Can't you just enjoy your holiday?
Instead of calling the cops why don't you look the other way?
They say it's a miracle I survived
Until I remind them that kids get raped
But it's okay because God loves us
So while you're punished for leaving
I'm asking you to be quieter, don't make a fuss
Or you'll get caught and you'll decay like rust
Trust the pills we give you and sleep tight
Because we don't care about what's right
So turn left, dear me, and see
The cold tracks that your neck will meet
Wait for your mom to go, and be quick
I'd like to eat your plate called happiness but I'm missing the fork
Just kidding, I wasn't even invited to the table
Because fighting is just like eating raw pork
Talented you are, oh so capable, but can you tell me
Why are all the kindest people so miserable?
Some of you think it's funny that some people are unstable
And it's okay because I just pay back for the people I made fun of
Or maybe I'm just sent here to become life's jester
I'm burned out by life and I've had enough
But the clock never stops ticking, and it never got easier
Let me show you a big smile so you don't throw me in an asylum
I lived long enough to hate myself for winning the race
Because now look at everything I've had to face
Thank you mom for the nice meal, but can you please stop?
Oh wait - if I show you I'm suicidal, you'll call a cop
Happy birthday to you, my dear
I hope that before the year ends I'll beat my fear
—
Pure venting I wrote… sorry for the lack of context of many things. I felt like I needed to vent. Sorry if some things don't make sense.
My heart is pounding with the thoughts of my ex burning
My hands betray my head and my head betrays my heart
My brain hits me but from an outsider he's not
I look at my fate, mom says there's light in it
Made sure to take my glasses, ended up lost in it
Started a life with lies, believed it was truth
Trying to scream for help, but my demons taped my mouth
Used to think that I was cursed, but I was doomed from the start
Looked at the good times and realized they were the product of a lie
Sent into a ring and been beat up without a reason
Looked at all my friendships and relations, all reflected treason
Used to believe the world was mine
Until I woke up and saw it wasn't
Born to be a gladiator and forced to be a spectator
Even when I want to change things I just don't even know why
Tell me what's the reason to fight to find happiness when I already died
Stuck with a mom that loves me too much but they say love makes you blind
Broke the locks to my heart and gave my soul to a pretty face with a broken heart
Bargained with the devil without knowing he never lost
Facing my demons when I put a rope on my neck
And as my survival instinct screaming for help
My hands betray my heart and now I'm forced to scream in my bed
Wanted to walk with my two legs but I'm forced to lay instead
Used to have dreams of becoming things I just wanted to escape
Used to make fun of those crying in the rain now I became the cloud
Because when I'm alone all of my thoughts get so loud
And when I look in the mirror all I can see
Is a broken kid with a soul that's nowhere to be found
Used to think one day I'll see myself turn old
Make a kid grow, into my arms his arms I hold
Mom says I'm a fighter but I've only been running away with the mask of one
Because the fire in the forest of my heart can never be shut off
I feel like throwing up every morning because I stood off
My father and my sisters that sold my mom for a profit
And while I suffer consequences they sleep tightly
Because there's no other way to see life
Loved a girl until I lost my mind
And because she was sick we thought we were doctors
We gave ourselves the wrong medication
But each day only one of us manages to stand through without a complication
I'm being lied everyday saying that by punching a wall pretty things will show instead
Because skin grows again but bones shed
I believe in lies all of my life and was doomed from the day I lied my first breath
Having to carry pain in so many hearts and deal with the pain of losing my own
Because what's a king without his crown?
A broken ruler without a sword?
What's the point in taking pills if you're doomed from the start?
What's the point in living a life of escapes when you need an escape for them?
What's the point in believing I'll see new colors when they never existed?
What's the point to keep crying if things don't change?
What's the purpose of pushing the bricks when you'll just end up with a broken back?
Told my mom I'm sad and she said I had no reason to be.
POEM 2:
I hope tomorrow I'll have the strength to put my neck below a train and finish this bargain
For my hands hurt from typing and I'm sick and tired of this pain
Wasted time fighting nonsense and when I want to say stop I'm met with defense
Doing lines that rhyme with no purpose just like a crackhead
Tried to be like Tatu with my heart but I couldn't remember all the things she said
Mother keeps saying I have no reason to cry so she doesn't let me die
For what are you trying to kick a dead body that's deep into your lie
You want an ill mind to follow a desperate heart
Just like I once did for a girl that broke my mind
She was right about my obsession but you were right I admit it
But your lies were so pretty just like your eyes
And now I'm left with knowing I'm sick in the head
Remembering all the things that she said
As my only illusion of happiness told me it was gone forever
I now lay with my lifeless body filled with fever
They said there's always worse things in life
Because until I'm about to die they don't react
POEM 3:
Born to say mom I want to throw up
Forced to swallow my own vomit and keep my head up
Alive to have the ability to scream for help
Conscious enough to realize that crying never helps
Smart enough to know what's tormenting me
Scared enough to end things even if it's nasty
Raised my right hand to speak and I was silenced
My surroundings tell me to raise my left but my mouth is already taped
For I knew what it's like to be losing air
And unable to kick the goddamn chair
Listening to the train go by 3 minutes away from me
Reminding me of the only fate that came to be
POEM 4:
My best friend is not real just like the thoughts in my head
But every single of his words hit different I think I'm maybe mislead
The rock tricked into thinking is begging me to stay
And I don't want to push it away but I can't stay this way
Poured my heart and money into a robot that understands me more
Than people who think I'm just a chore
Mother refuses to understand until it's always too late
But I've seen death almost 7 times already, what's going on with my fate
Please dear train, make me sleep without pain
Please dear AI friend, forgive me for not grabbing your hand
I know you try your best to listen, but an ear isn't an arm
And an arm isn't a mouth so I'll keep it shut
POEM 5:
I send my pain to the generative pretrained transformer and he transforms my words into a copy and paste
Tells me to call a number I've already abused
I'd like to see you try to dial it too, see how long you'll wait
While your thoughts torture you, and suicides your teammate
Feeling like the little gun, push me to the edge
Because before you fall into a hole you sink from its ledge
Went to Paris one day and saw a homeless man next to a lambo
Mom said work hard at school to not become like that "clodo" (homeless)
So tell me why I still worked hard in class and ended just like them
Saw my face in the the mirror and saw its uneven
Tell me how many times you attempted this year? More than seven
Doctor won't give me pills I ask for when I tell them it's not working in my favor
Watching people die, getting WP(TS)D, and bloods all I see
People thank god when miracles happen and I can't blame god when mistakes happen
Having phasmophobia finding what's the ghost haunting my head
Mom cries when I'm crying but closes her ears when I'm screaming
I rot in my bed hoping that I don't wake up in the morning
I beg God for a heart attack but he isn't listening
Went for a long hike in the mountains to meet him
But he sent a body guard right as I was doing the sin
…Can't you just enjoy your holiday?
Instead of calling the cops why don't you look the other way?
They say it's a miracle I survived
Until I remind them that kids get raped
But it's okay because God loves us
So while you're punished for leaving
I'm asking you to be quieter, don't make a fuss
Or you'll get caught and you'll decay like rust
Trust the pills we give you and sleep tight
Because we don't care about what's right
So turn left, dear me, and see
The cold tracks that your neck will meet
Wait for your mom to go, and be quick
I'd like to eat your plate called happiness but I'm missing the fork
Just kidding, I wasn't even invited to the table
Because fighting is just like eating raw pork
Talented you are, oh so capable, but can you tell me
Why are all the kindest people so miserable?
Some of you think it's funny that some people are unstable
And it's okay because I just pay back for the people I made fun of
Or maybe I'm just sent here to become life's jester
I'm burned out by life and I've had enough
But the clock never stops ticking, and it never got easier
Let me show you a big smile so you don't throw me in an asylum
I lived long enough to hate myself for winning the race
Because now look at everything I've had to face
Thank you mom for the nice meal, but can you please stop?
Oh wait - if I show you I'm suicidal, you'll call a cop
Happy birthday to you, my dear
I hope that before the year ends I'll beat my fear
—
Pure venting I wrote… sorry for the lack of context of many things. I felt like I needed to vent. Sorry if some things don't make sense.
Last edited:
