Postponement

[burninghill]

Haha how anticlimactic. I was supposed to die today but that won't be happening.

My little sister is my world, I love her so much. My family has decided to go out and we will be home alone until late Sunday.

Eventhough the reaction of my family isn't something that would ever inhibit me from killing myself, I'm not disappearing and dying while she's left home alone. Thats too far for me.

It's a bit annoying, I mean I've done all this setup, made all these posts, but at the end of the day it's fine. There's always another day.

The tide is suitably low until Tuesday, so I'll probably go away Monday. These things happen.

I also just want to say that I really do appreciate this community. The longer I'm on here, the more people I've learned to recognise and it really has made me feel a lot better. Eggsbaconsausage, Bl33ding_heart and Firstluminary are just a few people on here that I remember and keep up with. I love watching you all discuss things. Thank you to this site as a whole.

 

[hdead]

Weird how the world messes with your plans, aye?

I woke up this morning actually feeling a little hopeful. Maybe it's just the lorazepam and quetiapine I took last night. For some reason, picking berries and taking out the trash didn't seem too bad today.

I like the idea of having my noose and charcoal at the ready should I fully flip out. I'll not have to order anything. Also have a box of pills ready to go to help me on the way. Right now I am also planning on growing a poppy field that'll hopefully be harvestable next year. Ah, the ideation, how it keeps one going. What a paradox.

Anyway, sorry for rambling about myself. I think it's honorable that you would care for your little sister in this manner. But however way you decide to go, she's going to hurt for it. I'm sorry to say it, it's just the truth. I hope you can console yourself with that.

Either way I hope you find the peace you deserve. I hope we all find the peace we deserve.

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Good thing im an only child so i wont be having this... little problem

 

[The Disqualified]

Well, I just had written in that other thread of yours.
I am relieved you are not doing this today.
I hope you take these days to enjoy time with your little sister. You deserve some rest.
Sending hugs

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Makes me wonder how many ppl here are hanging on by just a thread...

The feelings of relief from other ppl here that theyre still alive being the only thing that keeps them from killing themselves

 

[burninghill]

Anyway, sorry for rambling about myself. I think it's honorable that you would care for your little sister in this manner. But however way you decide to go, she's going to hurt for it. I'm sorry to say it, it's just the truth. I hope you can console yourself with that.

I know she'll be hurt. That's fine. I just don't want her to be alone in the house wondering where I went and if I'm coming back. As harsh as it sounds to say, that is a burden for my parents, not hers.

Well, I just had written in that other thread of yours.
I am relieved you are not doing this today.
I hope you take these days to enjoy time with your little sister. You deserve some rest.
Sending hugs

I appreciate you. I'm sorry I haven't replied to your messages much, they're very long and I'm very tired.

 

[iwkmsssb]

it's crazy how the awaited day can be derailed so easily and unexpectedly, edging death is crazy. i hope you find peace in whichever path you choose and i hope these last days won't be too agonizing for you.

 

[SighCry]

Haha how anticlimactic. I was supposed to die today but that won't be happening.

My little sister is my world, I love her so much. My family has decided to go out and we will be home alone until late Sunday.

Eventhough the reaction of my family isn't something that would ever inhibit me from killing myself, I'm not disappearing and dying while she's left home alone. Thats too far for me.

It's a bit annoying, I mean I've done all this setup, made all these posts, but at the end of the day it's fine. There's always another day.

The tide is suitably low until Tuesday, so I'll probably go away Monday. These things happen.

I also just want to say that I really do appreciate this community. The longer I'm on here, the more people I've learned to recognise and it really has made me feel a lot better. Eggsbaconsausage, Bl33ding_heart and Firstluminary are just a few people on here that I remember and keep up with. I love watching you all discuss things. Thank you to this site as a whole.

It's 10:27 pm on a Friday night in Australia - just got home from dinner - and I logged in just to say I'm glad you're still here. Like you said there's always another day and it's sweet how you care for your sis