August 6th.
Considering how I feel now and how things have changed recently I doubt I will live another week. Can't wait to finally do it.
Considering how I feel now and how things have changed recently I doubt I will live another week. Can't wait to finally do it.
I don't know, I was supposed to do it on new year's eve two years ago but couldn't.
Deadlines don't work for me, I get too anxious. I think I'm gonna do it when I feel ready, the date doesn't matter that much.
Deadlines don't work for me, I get too anxious. I think I'm gonna do it when I feel ready, the date doesn't matter that much.
Ashpac
Lost and always will be.
- Jul 22, 2018
- 795
Left my old forum for this one. This one seems much better. When people say N, they mean nitrogen, yes? as in the exit bag method? ive looked into that, and to be honest, its probably the most peaceful method out there. Or have i got mixed up here? My deadline will probably be next month. fun times eh.
I believe people are usually referring to nembutal when they say n. Having spent a couple of years teaching science it always confused me a bit though. And I agree this forum is the best I have found.
Ashpac
Lost and always will be.
- Jul 22, 2018
- 795
Ahh right, thanks dude for clearing that up. I understand its near impossible to get and very few could only get it. Wish i could, less painful than my method.
iamthezero
Fiend Queen
- Jun 22, 2018
- 28
I'll go when it's time. I have things I have to take care of first that's putting me on a hold, like finalizing my will and making sure my burial is covered etc. But seeing as though my life has everyday become more intolerable, I can't see myself making 2019. *shrugs*
As soon as I have everything I need, ideally I want to go in next two or at most 3 weeks. I've got additional stressors that are hastening my need to go soon. I'm not too scared but sad that I'm in a position to feel rushed into dying. It's sad having to feel like u have to die to solve your problems.
Vincent Moraes
Member
- Jul 20, 2018
- 66
I'm in awkward situation right now. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for about two years now, and sometimes they go away. They came back last week, but in a much more logical manner. I figured out that Amitriptyline would something easy to get, so I managed to travel to a place where prescriptions are not required and bought 8g of it. Now I have it, the anti emetics and the diazepam needed. My only problem is regarding my family, I know I would hurt them so much. They all know about my trip to get the drugs, but they just don't know where I keep it. They keep saying they love me but it's like I don't feel anything, I just keep wanting to die. It feels a little better to have the Amitriptyline, knowing that I can do it whenever I want. It spoils in two years, so I guess that is a deadline. If life does not change, if things don't get better, I think I will be just booking a hotel for three days and do the trick.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,199
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,199
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,199
I haven't decided an exact date … I've mentioned sometime in the fall to a few people on here.
At least if I don't chicken out... I hate winter and don't want to see another one.
At least if I don't chicken out... I hate winter and don't want to see another one.
Sha70
Student
- Jul 22, 2018
- 103
skitliv
Le mort joyeux
- Jul 11, 2018
- 485
I set two deadlines in the past that for whatever reason I could not meet, they were supposed to be on special ocasions, now I'm setting a third date on september, it feels pretty anti climatic compared to the past ones but maybe thats what I need in order to do it finally.
Same. I should've killed my self but I haven't yet. Just means more time for proper preparation and death.
Threads
Warlock
- Jul 13, 2018
- 721
Well, already tried and failed. But I figure somewhere along the lines of mid August. I wouldn't of failed if I read more carefully the forum. But on the plus side, it's given me more time to plan things out better. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. But more importantly it's also given me a chance to look for a backup method that suits me. And it's also given me more time to get to know all of you folks on here. To reach out and connect with other people that feel the same way I feel.
Especially suicide being such a taboo subject. The only times it's really mentioned in the media is to mock and shame it.
And even though I've felt suicidal for a great number of years. Somehow all that bullshit social conditioning digs it's way into your brain. Suicide is wrong. And with that stigma, I could never bring myself to talk about it. I didn't want to end up in some psych ward..
But a couple of weeks ago I just didn't care about the stigmas, the labeling, the what's wrong what's right. The pain I'd bring on others. It just didn't matter anymore. For once, I mattered more than all of the bullshit I've been fed.
And I looked online and found some interesting things. But then I bumped into this forum. And originally it was just to get the information I needed. I wanted to CTB and that's it. And I was on here a week without signing up. Just reading through a lot of information. And then Iemember if I signed up right before my attempt and fail, or right after my attempt and fail. Either way. Then I started reading more closely.
Not just about the methods and the specifics. But the stories people had, the venting, the philosophy, the poetry, the suggested songs, etc.
By complete accident and pure luck. I found people that felt the same way I did. Anecdotes, the jokes, inspiration, compassion. The kind of thing that makes your heart swell with gratitude. That sense of, I'm not alone.
And I realize that I'm ranting so I'll stop right here. But just one last night. It feels really nice just to be understood. Big hugs everyone.
Especially suicide being such a taboo subject. The only times it's really mentioned in the media is to mock and shame it.
And even though I've felt suicidal for a great number of years. Somehow all that bullshit social conditioning digs it's way into your brain. Suicide is wrong. And with that stigma, I could never bring myself to talk about it. I didn't want to end up in some psych ward..
But a couple of weeks ago I just didn't care about the stigmas, the labeling, the what's wrong what's right. The pain I'd bring on others. It just didn't matter anymore. For once, I mattered more than all of the bullshit I've been fed.
And I looked online and found some interesting things. But then I bumped into this forum. And originally it was just to get the information I needed. I wanted to CTB and that's it. And I was on here a week without signing up. Just reading through a lot of information. And then Iemember if I signed up right before my attempt and fail, or right after my attempt and fail. Either way. Then I started reading more closely.
Not just about the methods and the specifics. But the stories people had, the venting, the philosophy, the poetry, the suggested songs, etc.
By complete accident and pure luck. I found people that felt the same way I did. Anecdotes, the jokes, inspiration, compassion. The kind of thing that makes your heart swell with gratitude. That sense of, I'm not alone.
And I realize that I'm ranting so I'll stop right here. But just one last night. It feels really nice just to be understood. Big hugs everyone.
Sha70
Student
- Jul 22, 2018
- 103
I did not cast votes because I have already decided to wait til after my youngest graduates from high school... that will be in about 2 years.
Similar threads
Offtopic
pyx
