Discussion (Poll) Are you a NEET or close to it? And does this make you want to off yourself? If so, why?

[End Piece]

Then take active efforts to not be a parasite?

I personally am.

 

[Moonicide]

I'm a NEET as well. I have really bad agorphobia to the point I didn't leave my house for 5 years, and even now that I go out a few times a month, it is still so hard to transition back into society. It's not possible for me even though I'm in treatment and on medication. I'm always living in fear... I don't know how to act or be 'normal.' Like many others, my mental health got so bad that I had to drop out of school too. It went downhill after that.

 

[BlueWidow]

I guess I qualify as NEET. Right now, I'm living on money my husband left me when he passed away.
I haven't had an official 9 to 5 job in 24 years. The last one I had in 1995 caused me to have a nervous breakdown and I was able to get disability benefits from my dad's railroad retirement money. He only lived for 5 years after he retired, so there was a huge chunk of money just sitting there not being used. I also felt like since a lot of the reason I am in the shape I'm in mentally is because of my dad, it was payment for all the things he put me through. I was on that disability for 8 years. Then I married my husband and had to give the money up. My husband had a consulting business and a few other side businesses, so I helped him with those while he worked his main job. It was perfect for me because I could tailor the work schedule to my needs most of the time. My main issue with "normal" work is going to the same building and doing the same thing day after day to infinity. I hate the sameness of it all and the monotony. I hated school for the same reason. It makes me feel like a robot. It mentally crushes me. I start having psychotic episodes-- hearing voices and seeing people who aren't real. I become incredibly paranoid and can't function anymore. I go into an alternate reality that I call Darkland. It's not a fun place to be. My husband knew this and he made it possible for me to work in a way that enabled me to function as normally as possible. He promised to leave me enough money to live on for the rest of my life when died. However, in his final years, I now believe he wasn't thinking as clearly as he seemed to be at the time and many people, including his lawyer and daughter, took advantage of him. As a result, he didn't leave me anywhere near the amount of money I would need to live on for the rest of my natural life. I just wanted enough to pay my bills and live fairly comfortably without having to worry about money. I never expected to be rich or travel or anything like that. I just wanted a quiet secure life. It wasn't meant to be though.

 

[spanishguy22]

NEET's are depressed because they don't understant what they have. This only applies to depression from NEETdom, if you have more serious shit going on then that's a different matter.

So ignorant yuck

 

[Wayfaerer]

I personally am.

That's great, keep at it.

So ignorant yuck

Nope, been there. I'm sure you're overwhelmed with where to start but it can very much be done. Start small and work your way from there.

 

[charlottewilts]

currently effectively a NEET. if i don't CTB, then forced to work a real job...

 

[elephantinthroom]

have been a neet for 10 years, since i was 10 years old. i "study" but what that really means is i google answers to online quizzes that are somehow meant to be a substitute for a high school education. after this long, what i "do" every day is mostly wake up early in the morning because my parents fighting disrupts my sleep, then i fall asleep again because i'm too lazy to get out of bed, then i wake up again a few hours later. then i shamble over to this computer room, sit down, and feel my brain disintegrate in real time over the next 12+ hours, then go back to bed. i am delivered food (whenever we have it) by my mom. i do not act or think or feel like a human being. i have no concepts of wants or needs or boundaries. everything i do is done to sidestep potential chain reactions, my brain is a minefield. CTB seems to me like the only way to truly "leave" all of this, because the problem was never just this specific situation. neetdom is just one slice of the huge, awful pie. becoming a quasi-normal dumb human isn't going to change the fact that:

1: my parents had absolutely no idea what to do when raising a child, and their parents most likely didn't give them the emotional/psychological/financial tools required to do it. we always talk about my life and my "future" like it's a taboo thing, a dirty secret. and it more or less is. they know they fucked up on some vague level but don't even seem capable of analyzing this on a level beyond "we did bad thing". in his many drug-induced hazes, my father comes to me with so many exciting ideas about the future, the life he could never live. talking to me about getting a driver's license and buying a car (we can barely afford food and toilet paper is a luxury, by the way), barely capable of even articulating his braindead ideas and leaving all the "research" to me. he asks me "what're you gonna do, man?" as if that's a thing worth asking after a full decade has passed. in this world, you can spend your entire life never knowing even a single second of what most people claim is normal and good, things they couldn't even imagine living without, and there is no reason this happens. there is no reason anything happens. i spent 10 years in front of a computer and no one has anything to show or say for it, least of all me. just pissed away the most important formative stages of my life and replaced it all with a giant conveyor belt of internet trash. for no reason. i now know that things like this can just happen and i'm supposed to spend the rest of my life believing that they don't. that there's a reason for everything, that god has a plan, that there's always hope. i can't.

2: my isolation has helped me become even more of a shockingly repulsive existence. nothing about me or my environment is normal. being relocated to an environment more customary to real people would possibly kill me. having all my ineptitude and insane habits and possible retardation laid bare in front of people who at some point believed i was normal. i don't even know the full extent of the brain damage this isolation has caused and i'm terrified because i KNOW i'll find out eventually if i don't end it soon. i feel like me just existing around other people is an insult to them. a sentient bundle of "creepy guy" red flags. so many parts of me are freakishly undeveloped and childish and innappropriate. nothing good comes from trying to listen to or understand me, i unfortunately know this from experience. i'm just a black hole. sometimes suicide almost seems like an act of mercy towards me, my parents, the people i'll never get to hurt now. causing suffering to prevent more suffering, i guess.

this does not even scratch near the surface but it's the two reasons related to neetdom i can think of right now. i assure you there are many more.

That really sucks man. Beyond that. I'm sure it's hell.

i now know that things like this can just happen and i'm supposed to spend the rest of my life believing that they don't. that there's a reason for everything, that god has a plan, that there's always hope. i can't.

Yeah. All sorts of things happen. Some people die when they are 1 year old, some spend their entire lives in mental institutions, some in prisons for crimes they didn't commit. I think the belief that 'all things happen for a reason' is a naive and childish illusion/fantasy.

Do you at least learn something interesting/remotely useful when you study?

 

[deltahead]

Absolutely not. I "dropped out" after 4th grade. Even if I wasn't just googling the answers to everything and barely looking at the questions themselves, I don't think I could gleam anything useful from it. Honestly, none of this should count. It feels like I'm tricking everybody. I probably am. If I died there would be no more tricks.

 

[FaceOfSilence]

I found an amazing job with at least double median salary in my country but was asked to leave after a month. No hard feelings, people in charge read me like a book and they didn't want to be responsible for my mental health and i couldn't object to a single thing they've told me. They even suggested a similar company to try once i recover. Thing is, i have no idea at all how to recover, how long it will take, i feel like the more i try to do something about my life the deeper down i spiral.

 

[c824767]

I was in a well paying job in the computer industry. Then I got married to a wealthy guy, was with him for 20 years, did not work. Now I am divorced, have very little money, no work experience. My boyfriend is in a lot of debt and an artist, makes hardly any money. I was involved in a complaint against RBC, was arrested and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was at the psych ward three times, twice for attempted suicide.

 

[Wayfaerer]

@deltahead you and I have a lot in common, except your case is even more extreme.

 

[Mr2005]

I went straight from education to retirement

 

[NBreatheMe]

I graduated from university 2 years ago, haven't get my grade because I had problems with the adviser, so I wasted 4 years of my life stuying a carrer so I don't get a title and for so I can't work in now.
Stared my own bussines a year ago, but I'm preparing to leave it soon because a couple of the clients have been harrasing me and my family. Same reason now I'm scare to start something new, this people may follow me and then I would have to leave again anyway.
I consider myself a NEET already and that definitely is a mayor reason for my depression to get worse.

 

[OneBigBlur]

I was a NEET for 10 years cumulatively and I only just recently found a work from home job. Unemployment isn't the main reason why I want to CTB but our society and most people value you for your money unfortunately. I'm aware that I'll never be able to hold down a full time job or one that pays a living wage but people don't care about you otherwise.

A nice quote about NEETdom and society I'd like to share:


"Living happily" itself is a myth. Nobody on this floating rock is consistently "happy" every single day unless there is something seriously neurologically wrong with them that makes them that way. Life itself is inherently suffering - this isn't some edgy edict, it's the fundamental nature of the human condition; we are animals, and moreso social animals, which, not unlike elephants, zebras, dolphins, cows, or donkeys, are biologically wired and adapted to chasing short-term fulfillment, and avoiding pain and suffering - to the degree we experience and remember negative feelings and experiences far, far deeper and longer than we do positive experiences. This is the telltale sign of our inescapable animal nature - the hardwiring that makes suffering so inherently unavoidable, and pleasure seemingly so elusive.

Boiling the phenomena of NEETdom down to "mental health" is a reductionistic fairy tale that completely ignores the context of modern life in favor of hyperindividualizing the consequences of that context down to the individual and leaving it there. Speaking of context - the factors you mention are not as much of an immunological force as you imagine. Our society is one rife with celebrity suicides, who so many see as the "winners" of our silly game - they have money, prestige, recognition, fulfillment, endless fancy toys and achievements - and yet still cannot escape the call to the void - which, if anything, speaks to the fact we spend our lives chasing things that really do not make our lives all that worthwhile in the end. Sure, it's nice to be clock in to your 9-5 every day and pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you're doing the right thing like everyone else, but this is the life of an obedient somnambulant - one we are conditioned for in this society. You know the script - go to school, work until you're old, save and scrimp the whole way through, retire, and go rot in an old folks home using the money you've hoarded your whole life. This might be a fulfilling life for an inanimate machine part that cannot feel and is not alive, but for a social animal that needs environmental enrichment and belonging and meaning to feel any kind of consistent fulfilment, it is a slow death. This isn't to say NEETdom is some grand alternative - it is the final consequence of this meaningless life program - narcissized depression and almost total alienation, whereby one practically declares themselves dead to the outside world and escapes deeper and deeper inside themselves as a solace, until the crushing emptiness of isolation and loneliness destroys their ability to experience pleasure and often their will to live. This is typically because of the self-isolating shame that attaches itself to the status. As social animals, we need people in our lives to feel any degree of worthwhile. Interpersonal interaction injects our lives with a kind of meaning and fulfilment that all the technology, distractions and drugs cannot. Unemployment and NEETdom would not nearly be as bad if not for the immense social stigma, and if we could all expect to live in communities we felt a part of, or at the very least had friends who cared about us outside of our job title. Unfortunately, this is not the nature of our hyperindividualized, materialistic, and vain society whereby one increasingly derives their (narcissized) sense of self-worth and status from their ability to consume and brag about said consumption. Instead, we live in a time where over half of the population reports always feeling lonely and having few if any friends, 1/6 of us are on psychotropic drugs, and the suicide rate hasn't been this high in 30 years.

All the same - this doesn't make "successful" people failures. But it also doesn't make NEETs "failures", at least in any individual sense. The failure is society itself - in providing an insane sociocultural script that makes people incredibly sick; if I could call NEETdom anything, anything at all, I'd call it the canary in the coal mine for a society that is providing an age old lifescript that is no longer worthwhile, rewarding, or even meaningful in any sense - nor does it even guarantee the barest physical necessities for participation anymore; recall that wages have been stagnant for 40 years and we have wealth inequality levels that mimic those found prior to the Great Depression, what becomes all the more clear is that modern life is the new Great Depression. This is a dreadfully sick post-meaning society where mass shootings, panoptic surveillance, suicide, opiate abuse, loneliness, and alienation have become as commonplace as psychotropic drugs and psych diagnoses; which, if anything, says nothing more than that the very concept of "mental illness" is a desperate attempt by the system to hold on to it's collapsing validity by pointing at dissidents and shouting "they have some inherent biological illness that makes them this way!" As such, the realm of modern day psychology/psychiatry has become no more than another long arm of the corporatocratic, neoliberal police state, which has a part in allowing modern-day quality of life to continue it's decades long slow bleed to the sociopathic class - the wealthy and powerful.

We must think of NEETdom, depression, and a wide scope of psychological maladies as meaningful signals our bodies are sending us about the ways we conduct our lives nowadays, not as noise that is to be ignored and medicated away." -David Foxxxy

 

[Thatdude]

All the same - this doesn't make "successful" people failures. But it also doesn't make NEETs "failures", at least in any individual sense. The failure is society itself

I agree with someone being a NEET isn't a failure. But this 100% changes for me if they are

1. have kids younger than 18 (stay at home dad/mom isn't a NEET in my eyes if it doesn't require the person to live off of government assistance. Like otherwise the kid will know nothing other than poverty until they move out.)
2. If it isn't abusing someone else. Like if you're more than able to work, but you're living off of your grandparents who is only able to get by from social security.

Beyond that, each to their own as some say.

Do you at least learn something interesting/remotely useful when you study?

Yes. It seems a common thread from the stories is most aren't a NEET to just be one. But most are a NEET because they have an extremely hard time fitting into a normal workplace or they have no upward mobility. And based on this small poll, it's a flip of a coin if someone is suicidal due to some aspect of being a NEET. I also find it interesting that there is a slight uptick of people who want to off themselves because they are close to being a NEET vs those who don't want to. But again, this study is a bit small.

But the entire point of me asking questions is because it might help others. Many who are facing this might not know others are in a situation like theirs. With that in mind, I would've reworded this if I was to ask it again. I would've asked those who gotten out of the NEET life to explain how they went about it.

 

[End Piece]

I agree with someone being a NEET isn't a failure. But this 100% changes for me if they are

1. have kids younger than 18 (stay at home dad/mom isn't a NEET in my eyes if it doesn't require the person to live off of government assistance. Like otherwise the kid will know nothing other than poverty until they move out.)
2. If it isn't abusing someone else. Like if you're more than able to work, but you're living off of your grandparents who is only able to get by from social security.

Beyond that, each to their own as some say.




Yes. It seems a common thread from the stories is most aren't a NEET to just be one. But most are a NEET because they have an extremely hard time fitting into a normal workplace or they have no upward mobility. And based on this small poll, it's a flip of a coin if someone is suicidal due to some aspect of being a NEET. I also find it interesting that there is a slight uptick of people who want to off themselves because they are close to being a NEET vs those who don't want to. But again, this study is a bit small.

But the entire point of me asking questions is because it might help others. Many who are facing this might not know others are in a situation like theirs. With that in mind, I would've reworded this if I was to ask it again. I would've asked those who gotten out of the NEET life to explain how they went about it.

You should make a new thread! I'm a sucker for uplifting stories.

 

[Sweet emotion]

It's an acronym for Not In Education Employment or Training. Most people that have this type of lifestyle are not doing it voluntarily but because they are disabled due to various physical/mental reasons and are often suicidal. Many were abused, bullied, or rejected severely. It's especially prevalent in Japan:

Oh that's Ms for telling me. Then I'm a NEET due to complex regional pain syndrome. Even though I think that I work very hard every day with this viscious non stop pain from trying not to kill myself. I should be getting paid a lot more from my disability from the pain I go through. Damn government!

 

[Thatdude]

You should make a new thread! I'm a sucker for uplifting stories.

I just made it https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/neet-and-not-a-neet-anymore-how-did-you-do-it.27019/

It's an acronym for Not In Education Employment or Training. Most people that have this type of lifestyle are not doing it voluntarily but because they are disabled due to various physical/mental reasons and are often suicidal. Many were abused, bullied, or rejected severely. It's especially prevalent in Japan:

The video you showed isn't actually a neet. It shows more of a hikkkomori.
I found the following has a better description between the 2.

Hikikomori and NEET in Anime and Culture

What does NEET stand for? What's the difference between NEETs and hikikomori? You may think you know the answers to those questions, but if your knowledge comes only from anime, you might want to read this.

myanimelist.net

Anyways a hikiomori can be a neet, but they can also be in online school or working online. They simply don't leave their room/home for a very very long time. A NEET that isn't a hikiomori can leave their property. But the NEET can't find or do work.

 

[OneBigBlur]

I just made it https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/neet-and-not-a-neet-anymore-how-did-you-do-it.27019/




The video you showed isn't actually a neet. It shows more of a hikkkomori.
I found the following has a better description between the 2.

Hikikomori and NEET in Anime and Culture

What does NEET stand for? What's the difference between NEETs and hikikomori? You may think you know the answers to those questions, but if your knowledge comes only from anime, you might want to read this.

myanimelist.net

Anyways a hikiomori can be a neet, but they can also be in online school or working online. They simply don't leave their room/home for a very very long time. A NEET that isn't a hikiomori can leave their property. But the NEET can't find or do work.

I don't agree personally, it's just another made up label to avoid calling this type of a lifestyle a product of adversity and trauma. The diagnostic symptoms that they assign to Hikkikimori border on absurd to me. Both labels exist because society doesn't want to face the reality of what made them this way. They both withdraw and isolate from the world for very similar reasons, a lack of meaning and rejection from the outside world. The actual unemployment aspect is the least important part of these labels.

 

[Thatdude]

I don't agree personally, it's just another made up label to avoid calling this type of a lifestyle a product of adversity and trauma. The diagnostic symptoms that they assign to Hikkikimori border on absurd to me. Both labels exist because society doesn't want to face the reality of what made them this way. They both withdraw and isolate from the world for very similar reasons, a lack of meaning and rejection from the outside world. The actual unemployment aspect is the least important part of these labels.

Yes but to be classified as a Hikkikimori you must be the type who never leaves a room or a home. Where as the person not having employment is in the NEET name.

It's important to note the technicalities because it's the same as someone treating autism with retarded. I've literally seen people talk to me as if I'm retarded when a family member introduced me and said I am autistic. I've also seen places discriminate against me because they lump me in as being retarded, even when I had more education than them.

Just like how someone could be just autistic, or just retarded, or both. Someone could be just a NEET, or just Hikkikimori, or both.

 

[MelancholyPie]

I too just learned exactly what a NEET is. I've heard the term before but never bothered actually googling it so I just assumed it had something to do with computers.

I've been on a medical license from uni for a little less than two years. My psychiatrist helped me get the license in order to deal with my MI. However it is time limited and I will have to come back to uni in 2020. I don't know if I'm ready btw, so this makes me pretty anxious.

I guess I've been kind of a NEET for the past 18 months or sth?

 

[Theonlywayoutisdeath]

I've been NEET for 3 years now. I had to drop out in the sixth form of grammar school. Always been a top student, but my depression became crippling and unmanageable, hence why I had to stop. I've basically been laying in bed ever since, with a few exeptions. Being NEET is NOT the reason for my depression (reason is unknown) or for my desire to CBT but it definitely doesn't help me feeling like absolute worthless shit. I know I'm a quick learner, and I should be able to handle university no problem. Yeaaaars ago I dreamt of going to a conservatory to study violin. But my mental health has made regular practice impossible. So that's not even an option anymore. Not that I have the motivation to do anything about it anyways.
So yeah, life is great!!!!! 0.o

 

[NerdyNihilist]

I found myself becoming a NEET as soon as I graduated highschool, due to social anxiety and very low self esteem. More than 3 years have passed since then and I still have barely worked a day in my life. I mostly spend (or rather waste) my days on the internet, whether that be gaming, YouTube, movies... It's come to the point where I don't really enjoy these things anymore. It merely helps me kill time and keep my mind off CTB.

Though, I wouldn't mind staying a NEET, since I feel like I have nothing to offer. It already takes enough courage for me to go do groceries, let alone go work... Guess I'm good for nothing but reaping benefits. Sooner or later I will have to force myself to go out there and (try to) become a productive member of society, because sure as hell they won't keep handing out money like candy forever. It honestly makes me want to CTB even more.

I'll never be ready for the real world.

 

[Anathema]

I'm almost a neet, technically I'm an undergraduate student but I never leave the house unless there's no other option. I study at home. I don't want to become a neet. All I do is math and programming, and study for exams. My only friend is vegetative due to a car crash, that leaves me with 0 friends. Not that I particularly find that a bad thing. My family is thankfully very supportive, but I'm not transparent with them as that would make them worry more. You'll never know I'm in the room, and if you happen to find out, I'll try to convince you I'm a hallucination. Unless I have to talk to you about something important.