jussrav
Experienced
- Sep 9, 2023
- 237
I am sorry I can't do another day of this. My mind won't stop every second and I am in one big war with myself and battling to survive. I thought hanging taking diazepam tomorrow morning and then hanging but scared as I have nowhere to hang in my flat and if i hang from my balcony then someone will find me. Life is hell. With illness long covid, cant eat in pain all day, cant get a job cant pay mortgage. People have let me down badly, I struggle all day and night. I can't sleep, eat go for walks tge pain in stomach is killing me every day. I am just in and out of hospital getting checked out but they cant do anything. Guys who talk to me sat we cant wait to see your miserable face. They dont review my meds, dictors ignore me. I could go on. I feel like I cant do anything watch movies, relax if u sit at home my problems get worse. I am stuck with my mum who doesn't let me use phone I am 42. She also says nasty things to me so does everyone else I am used to it now so cant remember. There is no peace my mum will say let's go to your flat and do this its the middle of night I feel on high alert like I cantvrelax. I watch the time scared of the hours. I hate waking up in the middle of the night.i hate my life please help. I dont have energy at all. Will overdose work. My fkat mate was hallucinating he leaves soon but he also helped me but then he said why was I looking out the window what have I got in the back of my pockets. I had to call my mum I feel like death is only way out I an suffering terribly u dobt know whats happening in my head. I will never get past wgat I've been through ever its a horror story. Life is really bad I was going mad in my interview i want peace thats it. I was trying to take tablets for my pain ended up drinking coffee in my car that was there for days.
