Venting please suggest meals. thought about my friends. can't stop feeling sad.

[Leonard_Bangley39]

only 3 days left until my discord account finally deletes. i remembered old memories of messaging with my friends and now i can't stop feeling sad. i miss them so much, but i know i will just hurt them if i try to go back.

they were just online friends but at the same time they were the best friends i ever had. i met with some of them irl in the past. I'll never find online friends like them ever again.

I'm so hungry but idk what to cook. i just moved in to a new place as someone's roommate so I'm still getting used to the kitchen. I'll feel bad if i make a mess. can someone suggest something that i can make to distract myself?

i want to actually cook something, not just a microwave depression meal like ramen. but i also don't want to make too much, just enough for myself. there's a Walmart within walking distance.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Why are you no longer in contact with them, if i may ask?

I've always found comfort in pasta with sauce. You can make it as complicated or simple as you like

Plus messes can be cleaned up

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

Why are you no longer in contact with them, if i may ask?

I've always found comfort in pasta with sauce. You can make it as complicated or simple as you like

Plus messes can be cleaned up

we were all in a small server together. id often vent and complain about stuff in my life there and lash out and treat them like shit despite them caring for me. eventually i got kicked. the owner, my friend, dmed me and called me out on all my bullshit and i felt awful.

i decided myself after a few days that i shouldn't try to join back after apologizing because i can't guarantee that i can change. so i told them exactly that. i told them how i truly consider them my friends and i loved the time i spent with them and then deleted my account. they know I'm suicidal, a couple of us were, so i didn't want them getting worried that i ctb'd when i disappeared.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

we were all in a small server together. id often vent and complain about stuff in my life there and lash out and treat them like shit despite them caring for me. eventually i got kicked. the owner, my friend, dmed me and called me out on all my bullshit and i felt awful.

i decided myself after a few days that i shouldn't try to join back after apologizing because i can't guarantee that i can change. so i told them exactly that. i told them how i truly consider them my friends and i loved the time i spent with them and then deleted my account. they know I'm suicidal, a couple of us were, so i didn't want them getting worried that i ctb'd when i disappeared.

Ah... the familiar emotional disregulation...

Regardless of wanting them back, there are ways to try and deal with it, and get it to happen less if not at all (depending on the reason for the disregulation), for yourself first. Being in such a state and hurting ppl you love or care about is really hard

Just a thought though, isn't it up to your friends to decide if they want a guarantee you'll change?
If one of my friends did that to me I'd be happier with a "sorry, I'll work on it and please call me out if I do it again" then just apologies and losing a friend.
I know everyone is different of course. And I don't know if you want to work on it either, obviously that's up to you!
It just sounds like they meant a lot to you.
It was considerate letting them know either way

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

i

Ah... the familiar emotional disregulation...

Regardless of wanting them back, there are ways to try and deal with it, and get it to happen less if not at all (depending on the reason for the disregulation), for yourself first. Being in such a state and hurting ppl you love or care about is really hard

Just a thought though, isn't it up to your friends to decide if they want a guarantee you'll change?
If one of my friends did that to me I'd be happier with a "sorry, I'll work on it and please call me out if I do it again" then just apologies and losing a friend.
I know everyone is different of course. And I don't know if you want to work on it either, obviously that's up to you!
It just sounds like they meant a lot to you.
It was considerate letting them know either way

wouldn't want to stay if them if i just kept treating them like shit. i wouldn't be able to accept myself

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

i made 2 boxes of Mac n cheese and i feel better

 

[eggsausagerice]

for the future, i also recommend egg drop soup or fried rice. eggy meals are my comfort food and don't take a lot of effort or groceries to make.