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Experienced
Jul 27, 2024
278
I am barely even a human being anymore. Every bit of hope, creativity, and love is gone. I have a girlfriend and I think I love her, but I don't know for sure, I don't know if I can even feel love. Maybe I'm just pretending with her, I don't know.

I don't feel sad anymore. I feel like an animal caught in a bear trap. That animal doesn't feel sad, it just feels sheer and utter panic and an overpowering desire to get away from that which is causing it pain. That's how I feel.

It's been 10 years, and I realized long ago it wasn't ever going to get better. But I didn't know how much worse it could become. I have severe anxiety, depression, irritable bowel syndrome, tinnitus, and chronic pelvic pain syndrome. Maybe I'm doxxing myself by sharing that, but I don't care. If anyone recognizes who I am, please come put a fucking bullet in my head, I beg you.

God have mercy on me.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Xiaojiu, Wrath, tiltedcompass and 2 others

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