Venting Please let me die

[unhopeful]

Please universe. Higher being, whatever exists out there. I beg you. Please let me die. Please give me cancer or a disease that would end me. Please let me go naturally. Please please please please please let me die peacefully in my sleep tonight.

I know there are methods available but I am too much of a coward to do it myself. I don't want to upset those around me. It would be easier to explain if the universe can simply lay out the right cards and help me accomplish my goal on my behalf.

it is my birthday, this is all I wish for. Please kindly fulfill my wish. I will donate my organs to those that need and want it. Please just let me die.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I just wish to never wake again as well, to me it'd be such a relief to simply die in a painless way. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you find peace eventually.

 

[KillingPain267]

Oh man, your post describes exactly how I feel.

 

[spentspirit]

I hope that whichever side of life you choose that you find peace.

 

[sos]

"I know there are methods available but I am too much of a coward to do it myself."

out of curiosity, do u think that u won't be able to do it w/o trying or have u tried and failed

but yea i get what u mean, being able to die w/o suiciding is more of a peaceful to go for others

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

if there was a god none of this pain would've happened to me

 

[unhopeful]

"I know there are methods available but I am too much of a coward to do it myself."

out of curiosity, do u think that u won't be able to do it w/o trying or have u tried and failed

but yea i get what u mean, being able to die w/o suiciding is more of a peaceful to go for others

I am scared of failing and it going horribly wrong (e.g., end up disabled state or in a state that would require 24-7 care). I'm scared of someone finding me and being sent to the psych ward / treatment (it's a horrible place, I've been there once). I'm scared of surviving and being ridiculed by my family and my partner. They would be upset at my decision. I've been told that if I killed myself, I would not be met with love and sympathy. But anger and no forgiveness for making a "selfish" decision.

If could simply die by the universe's hands, then no one would question it and everyone would be more accepting of the outcome.

 

[Themogger]

I dunno about the cancer part but yeah, sure

 

[andreamysk]

I am scared of failing and it going horribly wrong (e.g., end up disabled state or in a state that would require 24-7 care). I'm scared of someone finding me and being sent to the psych ward / treatment (it's a horrible place, I've been there once). I'm scared of surviving and being ridiculed by my family and my partner. They would be upset at my decision. I've been told that if I killed myself, I would not be met with love and sympathy. But anger and no forgiveness for making a "selfish" decision.

If could simply die by the universe's hands, then no one would question it and everyone would be more accepting of the outcome.

I believe (I hope) that they only said that statement about not forgiving and anger to dissuade you from the intent. If it ever happens, if they really love you, they will certainly have compassion for you, for your suffering. I understand (but do not justify) the objection of "you are selfish to abandon us" which contains a high dose of moral blackmail; on the other hand, no one accuses others with a "you are selfish to think only of yourselves and not of my suffering: which you will never fully understand, but trust me when I say that it is overwhelming".

You are not a coward, you are desperate. I hope that the universe hears your cry of pain.

 

[Hotel]

I feel very much the same way I've had many attempts I backed out of because I couldn't overcome this thing in my brain that wouldn't let me. It was like my body was fighting my brain. And I often beg and hope the universe or god or whoever to end my life. Because I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. Maybe one day I will go mad and my body will lose the battle and I will follow it through.