Venting Please help me

[STRIKER19966]

I'm 23 years old and for all my life I've been in pain. For the last 15 years or so. I never asked to be born yet somehow everything I do is pissing everyone off. It doesn't matter what I do they always want more. I'm trying my best God damnit. After a while I found a girl we were dating for 2 years. Then she just left me about 3 months ago. I was happy when I was with her. I thought I'd be okay without her but I'm not. I want to take my life but I don't want to fail. I'm considering hanging myself mainly because I don't have any other options. I lost my job so I literally don't have any money to consider other options. Please help me get this right. I don't want to do this anymore.

Spoiler: Photo

View attachment IMG_20200206_183941.jpg

I don't have any other places to hang myself I think this is viable.

Thanks for reading. I apologize for bad English. It's not my first language.

 

[Polka]

Hi there,

ok so you have some problems now. You sound emotional and not fully rational. All your problems can be fixed with some help and you are very young.

I counsel you to calm down for the above reasons.

Making a mistake with hanging is no joke you might spend the rest of your life (50 years?) as a paralyzed, mentally retarded individual. You can post here to unwind/pm/chatroom etc.

 

[Ghost2211]

Hello, and welcome. I'm glad you have found us. We can offer you community and support but it seems that you are not getting worse around you currently. Take some time to talk to us, as there are people here that care and are more than happy to listen and communicate. I also, if your intent on hanging yourself please read through all the resources on this page to make sure you do it correctly and don't cause brain damage.

is it possible to surround yourself with a new social circle? Or possibly live in a different place where you are not around people that are causing harm?

i'm sorry life has brought you to this point, and the loss of a relationship is a very painful thing. I am struggling with the same thing myself. It is awful when we feel like nobody around us feels that what we do is good enough, and it's awful those around you have made you feel this way. I hope you find peace and happiness and relief in whatever path you choose.

 

[STRIKER19966]

Hi there,

ok so you have some problems now. You sound emotional and not fully rational. All your problems can be fixed with some help and you are very young.

I counsel you to calm down for the above reasons.

Making a mistake with hanging is no joke you might spend the rest of your life (50 years?) as a paralyzed, mentally retarded individual. You can post here to unwind/pm/chatroom etc.

Well that's the thing. That's what I thought but I've seen lots of therapists none of them were able to help me.

Hello, and welcome. I'm glad you have found us. We can offer you community and support but it seems that you are not getting worse around you currently. Take some time to talk to us, as there are people here that care and are more than happy to listen and communicate. I also, if your intent on hanging yourself please read through all the resources on this page to make sure you do it correctly and don't cause brain damage.

is it possible to surround yourself with a new social circle? Or possibly live in a different place where you are not around people that are causing harm?

i'm sorry life has brought you to this point, and the loss of a relationship is a very painful thing. I am struggling with the same thing myself. It is awful when we feel like nobody around us feels that what we do is good enough, and it's awful those around you have made you feel this way. I hope you find peace and happiness and relief in whatever path you choose.

Thank you and I'm not bothered about my relationship or whatever I just don't want to do this anymore.

 

[Polka]

At some point you have to start helping yourself. Most people will take and take from you. The other side to that is you might be looking to others for validation/sense of self worth etc.

Also men are programmed to be nice guys but it's a con.

Now you have the internet and lots of people and forums online to share and learn from.

 

[STRIKER19966]

At some point you have to start helping yourself. Most people will take and take from you. The other side to that is you might be looking to others for validation/sense of self worth etc.

Also men are programmed to be nice guys but it's a con.

Now you have the internet and lots of people and forums online to share and learn from.

Hmmm well I've already made up my mind. I don't want to rush things. I want to make sure that I get everything right.

 

[Polka]

I understand but your emotions can change. You on the other hand can grow and move on at least to the next phase. Life has periods of suffering there is no way around them.

Are you sure that only you made your mind up and that your emotional reactions to your situation did not contribute?

 

[STRIKER19966]

I understand but your emotions can change. You on the other hand can grow and move on at least to the next phase. Life has periods of suffering there is no way around them.

Are you sure that only you made your mind up and that your emotional reactions to your situation did not contribute?

Yes I am I've thought about this for a long time. I don't see any other options because I've tried every possible way to save myself
Is there anyone who'd like to help me ?

 

[nbn]

Yes I am I've thought about this for a long time. I don't see any other options because I've tried every possible way to save myself

Please give some time to calm ur mind. u have mentioned that u are happy with ur girlfriend. U may find another girlfriend if u try.U can also find a job.These things are always temporary. Only if there is no possible solution to improve ur life, u should think of suicide. Take care.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

The information you're looking for is here, but you must seek it out. There are lots of resources here; use the search feature (the magnifying glass) to look for them.

The people here are helpful and kind. But we also know something that you do not: just being here on the site and talking to others can be very helpful and can cause you to rethink your plans.

Welcome. You are safe here, whatever your feelings. Do lots of reading and talk to us. We are very good listeners.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry for all your pain and suffering.

 

[randomz]

I am sorry for what you are enduring in your life, it must be horrible, but I will confirm what everybody else said. Only if you exhausted any other option for improving your life you could think of CTB. This place can offer you a lot of support for your problems, if only you want to share with us :)

 

[STRIKER19966]

First of all thank you all for your inputs. I've read most of the posts here. I'm going to make sure I get everything right. Hopefully I won't fail. I don't want to fail.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Yes I am I've thought about this for a long time. I don't see any other options because I've tried every possible way to save myself
Is there anyone who'd like to help me ?

I hear you and accept what you are saying.

If the hook is firmly anchored into the wall, then I believe your next step would be to determine what position you will use, and what you will hang with.

For the position, and for learning about cartoids, and for links to videos, I recommend the hanging thread linked in the resources sticky. After the first 20 pages, the thread is pretty redundant but you may still find good info, so I still recommend the whole thing.

If you go with option three (first post on the hanging thread), I would recommend hanging from something shaped like a U, such as a strap that has a very strong hook on each end. It is a very intense position for me, positions two and four did not work because of my cartoids not being accessible. Option three will be uncomfortable, but I believe it will work like full suspension hanging.

I wish you the best in whatever you do.

 

[Quarky00]

All your problems can be fixed

I would not have said that.

I would not tell a suicidal person to "calm down" .......



(or "start helping yourself", after 15 years of pain & therapy)

 

[Polka]

I would not have said that.

I would not tell a suicidal person to "calm down" .......

I should have been more specific in saying his woman problems can be fixed.

I did not 'tell' him I counseled him. There is a difference. He can do what he likes with what I typed that is his business.

He sounded emotional. I did not want him to risk brain damage and 50 years living as a retard. Think of the cost to the taxpayer. Making decisions based on emotions is dangerous.

(or "start helping yourself", after 15 years of pain & therapy)

Ultimately you do have to help yourself if you want to get better. Do you think Big Pharma wants cures? Some people do get better after 15 years.

 

[Quarky00]

I'm sure most have heard similar words before ("things will get better"), its effects on a person at the bottom are not always good.

If person is emotional they can't do what they like , thoughtfulness appreciated

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I was going along on your ride until:

He sounded emotional. I did not want him to risk brain damage and 50 years living as a retard. Think of the cost to the taxpayer.

I acknowledge you noticed caused for concern in the method, but I respectfully address the flaws to validate the concern:

Another's wants for him, both mine and yours, are not his concern, they are our own. Comparatively, nor do others' wants matter in the ultimately personal choice to ctb. So I gently reject that you care about such a potential outcome out of a desire for his well-being; it appears the motivation for the dire warning is to serve your own best interest in the form of your wants, because they are in your yard, not his.

Nor will the results of his actions come out of your personal or collectively shared wallet, which you ostensibly seek to protect against him. He may have insurance. He may be wealthy. There may not even be taxes for such things in his country, but if there indeed are...

The taxpayer argument supports the insidious myth that the individual is responsible to the government and not the other way around. I'm angry, not at you, but at the power structures that disseminate this myth in such ways that people are seduced into believing they serve collective and individual best interests, and ultimate good.

Apologies to the OP and all if my addressing the statement was derailing to the thread.

I acknowledge the OP's assertion:

Hmmm well I've already made up my mind. I don't want to rush things. I want to make sure that I get everything right.

I acknowledge @Polka addressed his concern about getting it right.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I'm 23 years old and for all my life I've been in pain. For the last 15 years or so. I never asked to be born yet somehow everything I do is pissing everyone off. It doesn't matter what I do they always want more. I'm trying my best God damnit. After a while I found a girl we were dating for 2 years. Then she just left me about 3 months ago. I was happy when I was with her. I thought I'd be okay without her but I'm not. I want to take my life but I don't want to fail. I'm considering hanging myself mainly because I don't have any other options. I lost my job so I literally don't have any money to consider other options. Please help me get this right. I don't want to do this anymore.

Spoiler: Photo

View attachment 26487

I don't have any other places to hang myself I think this is viable.

Thanks for reading. I apologize for bad English. It's not my first language.

Whatever you decide, I send you peaceful thoughts, compassion, and a link to the resources. Please stay around long enough to research your plans.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

 

[Lostandfound7]

So sorry this has brought u here..we r here for u to vent n always available to offer advice..heartbreak is a dumb bitch n feels sooooo unbearable, but time does heal those wounds..don't know what else u have been struggling with but I'm here to listen ..Sending u love

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm really sorry you find yourself in this situation. I've struggled all my adult life and always think I get everything wrong. Had my heart broken a couple of times. I understand that it is exhausting. If you have made your mind up them I really hope your suffering comes to an end. If you decide to stick around and chat then you will be welcome.

 

[WEASEL1234]

I should have been more specific in saying his woman problems can be fixed.

I did not 'tell' him I counseled him. There is a difference. He can do what he likes with what I typed that is his business.

He sounded emotional. I did not want him to risk brain damage and 50 years living as a retard. Think of the cost to the taxpayer. Making decisions based on emotions is dangerous.



Ultimately you do have to help yourself if you want to get better. Do you think Big Pharma wants cures? Some people do get better after 15 years.

With all due respect... I am nearly 50 years old and I have NEVER known of or heard of anyone in my lifetime having been retarded or paralysed having failed attempting to hang themselves. Also, everyone has their breaking point.

I'm sure most have heard similar words before ("things will get better"), its effects on a person at the bottom are not always good.

If person is emotional they can't do what they like , thoughtfulness appreciated

Absolutely agree

I was going along on your ride until:



I acknowledge you noticed caused for concern in the method, but I respectfully address the flaws to validate the concern:

Another's wants for him, both mine and yours, are not his concern, they are our own. Comparatively, nor do others' wants matter in the ultimately personal choice to ctb. So I gently reject that you care about such a potential outcome out of a desire for his well-being; it appears the motivation for the dire warning is to serve your own best interest in the form of your wants, because they are in your yard, not his.

Nor will the results of his actions come out of your personal or collectively shared wallet, which you ostensibly seek to protect against him. He may have insurance. He may be wealthy. There may not even be taxes for such things in his country, but if there indeed are...

The taxpayer argument supports the insidious myth that the individual is responsible to the government and not the other way around. I'm angry, not at you, but at the power structures that disseminate this myth in such ways that people are seduced into believing they serve collective and individual best interests, and ultimate good.

Apologies to the OP and all if my addressing the statement was derailing to the thread.

I acknowledge the OP's assertion:



I acknowledge @Polka addressed his concern about getting it right.

Eloquently put and exceptionally worded!

 

[STRIKER19966]

I would not have said that.

I would not tell a suicidal person to "calm down" .......



(or "start helping yourself", after 15 years of pain & therapy)

Thank you so much for this. I wanted to say this but I didn't wanted to piss people off. I'm sick of hearing this. Things will get better it's just in your head etc etc. I've thought about this for a long time. I never asked to be born. So this is my decision I'm going to plan it out perfectly. I mean I have everything I need. But I'm unhappy. So yeah
Also guys I've been like smoking crazy drinking like a dumbass. I feel fine when I'm drunk I'm a person who never had a drink now I'm doing drugs consuming alcohol like a proper drunkard. I don't want my parents to suffer because of me. I want to be free. I'm in so much pain. Not just because of a damn heart break. I've achieved most of my goals not once I've been happy. I'm straight up done. My friends were like to talking helps. I tried that but it didn't help . Since I live in Asia I don't have any many options. Only option I have is hanging myself. We don't have access to firearms. I don't know how to express what I'm feeling right now.

 

[Polka]

With all due respect... I am nearly 50 years old and I have NEVER known of or heard of anyone in my lifetime having been retarded or paralysed having failed attempting to hang themselves.

Dad of two left paralysed and unable to speak after failed suicide bid

Jai Sharkey tried to hang himself but was discovered by a friend who had called in to check on him

www.mirror.co.uk

"A dad-of-two has been left paralysed, brain damaged and unable to talk or communicate after a failed suicide bid.
Jai Sharkey had tried to hang himself but was discovered by a concerned friend who called in to check on him after he sent a worrying text message."

 

[TAW122]

Here is my two cents on this. I respect your decision and ultimately, only you can decide what is best for you. In regards to the method and specifics, since I'm not an expert on that particular method (hanging - be it partial, or full), others have chimed in and I think they know more than I do. As far as the ones who are telling you not to CTB, or having specific criteria of what is or isn't allowed as reasons for CTB'ing, well I don't fully agree with them either. I understand their concerns for the method and the attempt and glad that they did raise that point (it's a fair point tbh - especially when someone doesn't have their method solid and near 100% yet), but the gatekeeping and trying to invalidate, or dismiss OP's reasons for wanting to CTB is not something I agree with. While we all gatekeep to some degree, even minute aspects, we should strive to avoid it as much as possible as we are in a pro-choice forum and should respect all decisions, whether it is to live or CTB.

 

[Quarky00]

So we never really addressed the part where @STRIKER19966 opened up

Also guys I've been like smoking crazy drinking like a dumbass. I feel fine when I'm drunk I'm a person who never had a drink now I'm doing drugs consuming alcohol like a proper drunkard. I don't want my parents to suffer because of me. I want to be free. I'm in so much pain. Not just because of a damn heart break. I've achieved most of my goals not once I've been happy. I'm straight up done. My friends were like to talking helps. I tried that but it didn't help . Since I live in Asia I don't have any many options. Only option I have is hanging myself. We don't have access to firearms. I don't know how to express what I'm feeling right now.

There's also the part of "things getting better" when they don't . Yeah saying that kinda 'silence' a person in distress , sometimes .

Not being able to ctb is awful . You have achieved most of your goals ?

Sorry about your pain . Feel free to express more , whatever you want

 

[Sensei]

I acknowledge you noticed caused for concern in the method, but I respectfully address the flaws to validate the concern:

Another's wants for him, both mine and yours, are not his concern, they are our own. Comparatively, nor do others' wants matter in the ultimately personal choice to ctb. So I gently reject that you care about such a potential outcome out of a desire for his well-being; it appears the motivation for the dire warning is to serve your own best interest in the form of your wants, because they are in your yard, not his.

Nor will the results of his actions come out of your personal or collectively shared wallet, which you ostensibly seek to protect against him. He may have insurance. He may be wealthy. There may not even be taxes for such things in his country, but if there indeed are...

The taxpayer argument supports the insidious myth that the individual is responsible to the government and not the other way around. I'm angry, not at you, but at the power structures that disseminate this myth in such ways that people are seduced into believing they serve collective and individual best interests, and ultimate good.

I don't want to hijack this thread and turn it into a philosophical discussion, but let me just say that sometimes it's simply a matter of good, old empathy for a fellow human being. Many of the members of this forum are here because people around them lack empathy, so let's try to be better.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't want to hijack this thread and turn it into a philosophical discussion, but let me just say that sometimes it's simply a matter of good, old empathy for a fellow human being. Many of the members of this forum are here because people around them lack empathy, so let's try to be better.

Hi, @Sensei. I'm unclear as to what specific actions you are addressing, whether mine and/or others, when you suggest we try to be better. I'm willing to listen to criticism and, if it is valid, to use it to improve. I just don't understand what or who is being criticized, nor if I need to address any behavior of my own.

 

[Sensei]

Hi, @Sensei. I'm unclear as to what specific actions you are addressing, whether mine and/or others, when you suggest we try to be better. I'm willing to listen to criticism and, if it is valid, to use it to improve. I just don't understand what or who is being criticized, nor if I need to address any behavior of my own.

My apologies! I realise now that my words could be interpreted as criticism of you. I assure you that it wasn't directed at you. I mean you and I and everyone else. If I were to criticize someone, I'd try to be as straight-forward as possible.

 

[Mloureiro]

I'm 23 years old and for all my life I've been in pain. For the last 15 years or so. I never asked to be born yet somehow everything I do is pissing everyone off. It doesn't matter what I do they always want more. I'm trying my best God damnit. After a while I found a girl we were dating for 2 years. Then she just left me about 3 months ago. I was happy when I was with her. I thought I'd be okay without her but I'm not. I want to take my life but I don't want to fail. I'm considering hanging myself mainly because I don't have any other options. I lost my job so I literally don't have any money to consider other options. Please help me get this right. I don't want to do this anymore.

Spoiler: Photo

View attachment 26487

I don't have any other places to hang myself I think this is viable.

Thanks for reading. I apologize for bad English. It's not my first language.

Hang in there, you are so young, give the Universe/life a chance. The love of your life will come along, really...