Venting please be stable

[fantasy_function]

no need 2 respond, just venting, trying 2 get thru 2 myself.

3 hours ago, i'm calm posting about how i got my SN n am waiting things out till my exit date. rn i'm thinking 50 different things can't talk myself down can't think of a single reason 2 wait it out just wanna go 2 the park n get it fucking over with. i have 1 shoe on already that i don;t remember puttingon. buying this shit in advance was a mistake. i get the sense i'm gonna go thru with it on impulse b4 tying up my loose ends. every time this mood fuckery happens i tell myself it's gonna be different next time n i can have some kind of control over myself but who am i kidding. i kno i'm gonna have only regrets my last minutes if i have unfinished business. just wait it out u stupid bitch don't put the other shoe on just don't do stupid shit on impulse 4 once in ur life i'm begging u read this n re-read this n keep re-reading this if u have any sense

 

[theguineapigking]

Hey. You are obviously very, very distressed.

Rushing to kill yourself often goes badly. It's better to be prepared, at least to some extent.

Your mood is very f'd up right now, you said it yourself. Would you consider waiting until tomorrow? Think it over? Please don't do it yet. I don't know you, your situation, or your reasons for wanting to end it. But I do know that you may regret it(the method fails, or you regret it before losing consciousness). I'm not saying to live. It's your choice. Just please consider holding off until you're in a better, more stable mindset.


I am here if you want to talk. I mean it.

Best wishes in the meantime.

 

[Nolye]

I absolutely agree with @theguineapigking. You need to be calm and prepared, otherwise you may end up in a worse situation.

Give it time, at least for a couple of days, and then come back. We are not telling you to stay alive, just to be careful. And if you need to vent, we are always here. This communiy is like a family.

Take care.

 

[Pryras]

Feeling impulsive is the worst and can be very distressing. I get it, It's like a rush to get things over with, now and you don't want to wait. But, you need to be in a calmer mindset to make the decision since it can be even more traumatic surviving an attempt or botching it. Take a breath and write down what you're feeling, vent as much as you need to. The forum is here, we are here to listen.

As for unfinished business, don't stress yourself over it. There's always going to be loose ends somewhere in your life. Not everything needs to be revisited or dealt with, it's your life and you should be focusing on you.

 

[MissKatrina]

Here's a suggestion. Buy a safe or something that can be combination locked that you can put the SN into. Make the combination something hard to remember. Works best with six digit combinations. Give the code to someone you trust or send a scheduled email to yourself through a site like futureme setting it for your CTB day. I recommend future me because you can't view the message till it is received.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

This was a great post, makes me think a little bit of my journal to remind myself why I'm not leaving a letter to my parents, it really helps when I start to unreasonably want to. Now you've got a thread here to come back to whenever you feel impulsive to help you be present. Maybe remind yourself that it's important to wait until September? I think you said that was the date.

 

[neveraskedforthis]

Hey. You are obviously very, very distressed.

Rushing to kill yourself often goes badly. It's better to be prepared, at least to some extent.

Your mood is very f'd up right now, you said it yourself. Would you consider waiting until tomorrow? Think it over? Please don't do it yet. I don't know you, your situation, or your reasons for wanting to end it. But I do know that you may regret it(the method fails, or you regret it before losing consciousness). I'm not saying to live. It's your choice. Just please consider holding off until you're in a better, more stable mindset.


I am here if you want to talk. I mean it.

Best wishes in the meantime.

oh no oh no. That would be a total nightmare for everyone. Imagine you are at the point of no return, you already did or took whatever it takes to kill you, and then you regret it. Nobody would deserve a death like that, feeling regret in your last seconds, minutes.

 

[fantasy_function]

thank u 4 ur kindness. drank myself 2 passing out instead, which was probably the healthier alternative. i'm gonna bookmark ur responses 4 the next time i get like that. the safe+password is a great idea given that i start acting uncontrollably sometimes, i'm gonna look into it. i really don't want 2 go b4 i'm ready, i can't imagine what those last few minutes would be like or how i'd go out feeling. it is horribly embarrassing 2 make a fool of urself on a suicide forum of all places. wish i could delete this

 

[Brackenshire]

You are no fool...you gave voice to things i have thought about but never said..thank you

 

[Nolye]

thank u 4 ur kindness. drank myself 2 passing out instead, which was probably the healthier alternative. i'm gonna bookmark ur responses 4 the next time i get like that. the safe+password is a great idea given that i start acting uncontrollably sometimes, i'm gonna look into it. i really don't want 2 go b4 i'm ready, i can't imagine what those last few minutes would be like or how i'd go out feeling. it is horribly embarrassing 2 make a fool of urself on a suicide forum of all places. wish i could delete this

You have nothing to be ashamed of and you definitely didn't make a fool of yourself. We know how it is sometimes, when you just... can't anymore. I'm happy you didn't go through with it. We are here, if you need our help.

Take care, my friend.