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Wow that's intense. So you feel like it did for you what bingeing/restricting and weed did for you, just not as good? I feel that way too but this leaves less marks that others can see (I'm gaining weight from bingeing and feel disgustingi had a phase where I did this with every medicine in my dads cabinet like one day was equal to trying out a new one and seeing if it'll 1) kill me or 2) give me a buzz if it was 2 I'd take them to my room. However pill popping like that never made me feel as good as things like binging/starving and smoking weed does so I stopped that but still look up every medicine in the cabinet when I go to someone's house
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Yes it feels the same it's like a relief feeling when I swallow something I'm not supposed to. Maybe it's hope? Like hopefully it kills me type thing. But having control over everything I eat is better, I couldn't choose what meds I'd find if that makes sense but controlling my body and mouth is a good stress relief for me. But I don't binge as much anymore mostly just restrict and go to the gym like crazy,like my new form of self harm and weed is a really good preworkoutWow that's intense. So you feel like it did for you what bingeing/restricting and weed did for you, just not as good? I feel that way too but this leaves less marks that others can see (I'm gaining weight from bingeing and feel disgusting
i wish I could still binge tho but with my living situation it's embarrassing and I'd get called out for it. As for the weight gain binging is best if you don't do it everyday I always saved it as a reward I found that eating whatever I wanted every night made me hate myself more, again for me it's more about control I hope you find something that works out better for you. Returning to a normal eating regimen for a bit should help you drop the weight pretty quick tho
and yet I still long to do it sometimes. I think because the feeling of being so ill takes my mind off of everything else?
ive taken a large amount b4 and didnt throw up thankfully but yes its certainly a possibility you're right.
Antidepressant medication is designed these days, because of the nature of the illness, that if you overdose, you will vomit.
I get that hope/excitement too that maybe if I take a bunch of meds before bed I won't wake up. But I have.Yes it feels the same it's like a relief feeling when I swallow something I'm not supposed to. Maybe it's hope? Like hopefully it kills me type thing. But having control over everything I eat is better, I couldn't choose what meds I'd find if that makes sense but controlling my body and mouth is a good stress relief for me. But I don't binge as much anymore mostly just restrict and go to the gym like crazy,like my new form of self harm and weed is a really good preworkout
I definitely hear you on the bingeing thing and the weed…weed makes the bingeing worse for me tho so it's such a bad combo but also so good. I struggle so hard getting to a normal eating regimen. It's so badWhy do you think you do it?
That's my fear so I mostly do it before bed.
