Planning to CTB is such a weird feeling.

[failedmind]

I found SN and am now trying to obtain everything else needed. I went ahead and wrote all my letters. At night when I put my nephew to sleep I cry silently knowing I will soon leave him. When my mom calls, I break down after we hang up because she has no idea I won't be around much longer. Fuck anyone who says suicide is the easy way out. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. The guilt is eating me alive. Not only that, but just preparing it all. Realizing it's in my hands now and that once I do this, I'll be gone forever.

 

[foreverlanguish]

I understand how you feel. I myself have felt the same way before. It's such a scary feeling, as suicide is really not as easy and straightforward as some people make it out to be. I think what helps is just knowing that eventually you're going to be gone anyway and it's only a matter of time. Anyways I do hope you find some peace, and know that other people can relate, too

 

[metothemoon]

I share the feeling. Somehow I want to tell my loved ones I won't be here for long and I want to say goodbye, but that is just not possible. It makes it so lonely

 

[Unknown21]

I share the feeling. Somehow I want to tell my loved ones I won't be here for long and I want to say goodbye, but that is just not possible. It makes it so lonely

Kinda same.

 

[failedmind]

I share the feeling. Somehow I want to tell my loved ones I won't be here for long and I want to say goodbye, but that is just not possible. It makes it so lonely

I do too :(

 

[LostLily]

I share the feeling. Somehow I want to tell my loved ones I won't be here for long and I want to say goodbye, but that is just not possible. It makes it so lonely

Same and at the same time I don't want to be stopped if I make that decision

 

[nomoredolor]

All of this. The guilt crushes me. Hugs to you suffering soul.

They might not understand and will call you selfish. We understand the amount of pain you had to go through to get here. And many of us would choose to never be born if we had the option so that we could spare our loved ones the pain.

Anna