Planning a way out, but in later years.

[sarah88]

Hello. My name is Sarah, I'm 33.

I have a loving partner and a little dog, and we live in a house we have recently bought and are, in our own slow time, "doing up."

I'm not what I would call "actively suicidal" - that is, I don't plan to kill myself right now, or in the near future. (If I got a terrible disease however, I would want to just let it take me - but then again, I feel like I couldn't ultimately, because of my partner.)

I would like to make plans to kill myself - when I am older, if and when my partner dies before me. I could not stand to be alone. I also do not want to wait until I am physically or mentally unable to kill myself.

My stepdad has the same view for himself, which he told me. He has been collecting prescriptions for sleeping tablets for many years (I don't know why his GP still prescribes him anything he wants, it seems...) He has about 30 boxes. I am hoping that I can use these. When he is older and will not realise or after he has died, I will take the boxes for myself. But does medication go off? (I cannot visit them due to the lock-down, but next time we do go and visit I will check the expiry dates on the boxes.)

I would be interested to know if there is anyone else who has the same aim as myself; planning to die later on, in older age.

Edited to add: Would someone mind telling me what "CTB" stands for? Thanks.

 

[mirko]

Read the suicide resource compilation you can find the method that best suits you.
Btw CTB means "Catch The Bus" = kill yourself.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

 

[Ghost2211]

Hi, nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy your time with us, and find what you're looking for here. Yes, I plan to ideally wait until my kids are grown.

 

[sarah88]

I don't know how to quote to both of your replies, but thank you, Mirko.
RoseyBird, nice to meet someone else who is waiting.
And nice to meet you both.

 

[WornOutLife]

Hey Sarah! We're almost the same age! I'll be 33 in a couple of weeks.
I think it's a good idea that you're carefully planning your CTB and not rushing things.
In my case, I'll probably die next year because the truth is I have nothing left to lose and can't endure life any longer. I just despise it.

So, my plan is to have as much fun as I can during the next months and then say goodbye!

Please, include that in your plans! Try to have as much fun as possible before leaving, after all, you won't exist anymore after CTB.

With you the best with your plans and I guess I'll see you around some time.

Enjoy SS, it's a great community.

Hugs

 

[Red]

Hello. My name is Sarah, I'm 33.

I have a loving partner and a little dog, and we live in a house we have recently bought and are, in our own slow time, "doing up."

I'm not what I would call "actively suicidal" - that is, I don't plan to kill myself right now, or in the near future. (If I got a terrible disease however, I would want to just let it take me - but then again, I feel like I couldn't ultimately, because of my partner.)

I would like to make plans to kill myself - when I am older, if and when my partner dies before me. I could not stand to be alone. I also do not want to wait until I am physically or mentally unable to kill myself.

My stepdad has the same view for himself, which he told me. He has been collecting prescriptions for sleeping tablets for many years (I don't know why his GP still prescribes him anything he wants, it seems...) He has about 30 boxes. I am hoping that I can use these. When he is older and will not realise or after he has died, I will take the boxes for myself. But does medication go off? (I cannot visit them due to the lock-down, but next time we do go and visit I will check the expiry dates on the boxes.)

I would be interested to know if there is anyone else who has the same aim as myself; planning to die later on, in older age.

Edited to add: Would someone mind telling me what "CTB" stands for? Thanks.

Hi Sarah, and welcome!
There are resources here than might make you think twice about ODing as a reliable method - there are many reports of complications, failures etc. In addition to it being considered as an unreliable way to go, medications do indeed have expiry dates and are less effective as time goes on, even if left untouched in their packaging. If we're talking decades there's a very real possibility that there could be some degradation.
Take your time and browse through all the resources, read some of the megathreads and search any terms you want to learn more about in the search bar - there are so many resources here it can keep you busy for hours!
I was a member for a year, browsing threads and links and liking posts, until I first became properly active

 

[ovaltinee99]

Hi Sarah, welcome to the forum :)

I'm in the same-ish boat. Even if I had the means to die painlessly and peacefully right now, I wouldn't take it. But at the same time, if my circumstances don't change it's something I could see happening within the next year or two so I would like to start securing a method now.

I'm glad for you that you're not in a position where you're in desperate need to ctb. And I hope you never get to that point.

As an aside, I'm curious where this idea that OD-ing on sleeping pills (or any pill for that matter) will kill you come from? My guess is from movies because it's easy to depict and imply a peaceful suicide that way. And maybe decades ago when barbiturates were available as sleeping pills? But after casual research and reading, it seems that very few pills can actually kill you when you OD on them.

 

[OblivionSeeker]

Marilyn Monroe and Dorothy Killgallen OD'd on sleeping pills....and in their time, the pills would have been barbituates. Since then, benzos and other new products have taken over for safety reasons, and barbituates have become illegal. (except for vets, to put cats and dogs to sleep.)

from what I've read, OD'ing on benzos usually doesn't work.