Pisstaking is leading me to suicide

[nextstepdeath]

I can't cope with the pisstaking any more. I'm trapped in a life where all I can ever be is someone to have the piss taken out of me. It's just too much and I'm really starting to crunch.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That's awful. I'm so sorry. You must have some incredibly immature people around you.

 

[KillingPain267]

Same. I was always an object of jokes since I was 15 and that was the first time I thought about suicide. But I just isolated myself from people as much as possible.

Literally, the only time I was included into groups was so they could make jokes about me and have a laugh.

 

[let.me.let.go87]

It's why I stay at home and read and play video games all the time. No people to tease or bully me. I grew up the subject of abuse and bullying. My arms and legs are covered in scars because of it. I have 25 years of psychiatric hospitalizations because of it. I'm 37. Do the abusers and bullies care or regret it? Fuck naw. They're still living their lives. Most of them anyways. Some are junkies ijs. I'm and introvert now. Fuck society. I prefer to be alone. If I go out it's only worth my husband and he's equally weird he doesn't give a shit either

 

[locked*n*loaded]

No intent on detracting from the OP's problem, but, silly me, I thought this was going to be a thread about incontinence, or enlarged prostates.

 

[Ligottian]

When I saw the title of your thread, I thought you meant urinary incontinence.

 

[nextstepdeath]

I will look for a spot to jump later, maybe.

 

[nextstepdeath]

There is a balloon of pressure inside me. When it bursts I will kill myself. I just am not sure how I can get it to burst a bit quicker.

 

[nextstepdeath]

Can't put it into words. Long gone, long fucked up my life. My love, what I could have been, I don't know now. Sorry for all my mistakes. Sertraline will help me top myself. I fucked up so hard, the pain is impossible. My head will shrink into an attempt, something has to give. Too weak to do anything. Last bit of strength before I jump off the bridge. Need to do something. Hanging, jumping, meds, what do I do what do I do what do I do. I don't know how to die.
I can never get what I need now. I fucked it up too much. Motivating myself to die one way or another. Nothing can stop me killing myself!

 

[nextstepdeath]

Just ringing hotlines until you die, it's all you need.
It's all you can do. Some people take time to die.

 

[heliophobic]

If you don't mind me asking: who's taking the piss and why? Former friends? I would say to tell them all to fuck off but I know all too well what it feels like to be a chronic butt of the joke and you can only ignore people for so long. I just don't understand why you're a target.

 

[nextstepdeath]

If you don't mind me asking: who's taking the piss and why? Former friends? I would say to tell them all to fuck off but I know all too well what it feels like to be a chronic butt of the joke and you can only ignore people for so long. I just don't understand why you're a target.

I've lost everything, everyone. Couldn't get anything right with anyone. Was never happy or could get life or people to suit me. Whatever. People don't do what I want, I was never an authoritarian brat but people never do what I want or need. Whatever. It's too late now. The darker I get, the easier it gets to kill myself. Everyone has knocked me down and out, I'm easy fodder now. Just more and more focused on killing myself. That's all that matters now.
Once you're gone you're gone. Best to make sure you're definitely going.

 

[attheend13]

I've lost everything, everyone. Couldn't get anything right with anyone. Was never happy or could get life or people to suit me. Whatever. People don't do what I want, I was never an authoritarian brat but people never do what I want or need. Whatever. It's too late now. The darker I get, the easier it gets to kill myself. Everyone has knocked me down and out, I'm easy fodder now. Just more and more focused on killing myself. That's all that matters now.
Once you're gone you're gone. Best to make sure you're definitely going.

I can hear the despair and pain and it breaks my heart. Life is so fucking cruel. I relate to every word you said. I don't have any words to make it better but if it matters you do have kindred spirits out there. It's not like having love or even companionship but it's not nothing either. I'm just so sorry to hear you're in such deep pain.

 

[heliophobic]

I've lost everything, everyone. Couldn't get anything right with anyone. Was never happy or could get life or people to suit me. Whatever. People don't do what I want, I was never an authoritarian brat but people never do what I want or need. Whatever. It's too late now. The darker I get, the easier it gets to kill myself. Everyone has knocked me down and out, I'm easy fodder now. Just more and more focused on killing myself. That's all that matters now.
Once you're gone you're gone. Best to make sure you're definitely going.

I feel like I'm being too nosy, so I won't ask anymore questions. Still, I'm sorry that you don't have someone there for you when you need them the most.

 

[nextstepdeath]

Getting ready to drop. I might hang myself later. Maybe these new meds are the 'boost' I need to die, so to speak.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I get allot of what your saying, at this point my entire life just a fucking sham, a fake two way mirror and only thing that's real about it is the way I physically look, what really matters to anyone but surface level shit, I wish you the best, I wish I wish so badly, I don't want to seem crazy but yea it'd be nice if we could all just put each other out of are misery an I wouldn't have to die alone, but I know,, anyway I'm not you but I get allot of what your saying,, if you can't be a punching bag the world looks at you in way that says "then what good are you"

And I've never been
"good"
just barely treading.