Picking the most courteous date

[squirtsoda]

Outside of individual circumstances, does anyone have advice on picking the least hurtful date to CTB? I just wish I could do it in the least burdensome way for everyone involved. It's probably a pipe dream but you never know.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Probably not major holidays, or birthdays of people close to you.

Some random working day where it can just pass by and people don't think twice about it. They'll forget in time, anyways.

 

[AlreadyGone]

There is no date that will be least hurtful. People will grieve regardless of when you ctb.

 

[Skyview]

If you choose to be buried those nearest to you will place flowers on your birthday and anniversary of your death and on days when they miss you , major holidays are a no no .
If you choose cremation , your ashes obviously remain as a reminder unless you wish them to be scattered somewhere special .

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I've thought about this but between everyone's bdays, anniversaries and other death days I would never find a time. You'll know when the time is right

 

[a.n.kirillov]

It struck me one day that the best date is actually your own birthday. Because your loved ones won't have two days a year that they will have to dread weeks ahead of time; instead they'll have one day, your birthdate, and can forget about you for the rest of the year more easily.

 

[BPD Barbie]

For me, I chose to wait until after Christmas and New Year, for obvious reasons and also there are a lot of birthdays in my family and friends circle around this time also. I didn't want to taint future events with my passing.

 

[EndItQuickly]

Feburary 29th this year. Only comes once every 4 years ;)

 

[Flippy]

For me, I chose to wait until after Christmas and New Year, for obvious reasons and also there are a lot of birthdays in my family and friends circle around this time also. I didn't want to taint future events with my passing.

I have a similar problem that friends and families birthdays are spread throughout the year there just doesn't seem to be a good time where I wouldn't ruin the happiness of significant days. I'm still trying to figure it out I guess!:-/

 

[TAW122]

I don't have a specific date for a few reasons:
1) I don't know what could happen during the time leading up to said date, sometimes things come up and I'd rather not back myself into a corner and end up feeling 'rushed' and uncomfortable.
2) From the 1st reason, I'd want to be fully ready and committed to follow through without hesitation as hesitation and second doubts could end up in failure.
3) I've generally tried to avoid important dates and I can't always guarantee that things will always go to plan, so again, I'd want to be as flexible as possible and minimize the odds of things going wrong, as well as variables that goes into things.

 

[Carina]

Kind of like how others have said: avoid major holidays your family celebrates, birthdays, anniversaries, basically anything important that your family considers important--and anytime close if possible. If that isn't possible, try to avoid holidays and birthdays--as those are set.

But really if you're wanting to avoid a date, normally I say to pick a date that avoids the main holidays, at least by a few weeks. I know in my family where a death occurred on Christmas morning (yeah, they got a call expecting "merry christmas" and instead got a "____ died this morning") they kept on remembering that way too long just because of the date. I know it happened, and I wasn't even born when it happened!

 

[EndItNorth]

I have a similar problem that friends and families birthdays are spread throughout the year there just doesn't seem to be a good time where I wouldn't ruin the happiness of significant days. I'm still trying to figure it out I guess!:-/

I too am running into this. The firm date that I recently decided to CTB just so happens to be the anniversary of my Mother's death. It has actually given me pause. I am still trying to process it all. I knew her date was coming up, I just didn't realize I had chosen the exact same day until I looked at my main annual calendar.

 

[satoporu]

i totally agree, no holidays.

my birthday's in a few months. is it a good idea to do it on one's birthday?

 

[make1wish]

I second a.n.kirillov! Yes, if there is any one date, it ought to be your birthday. Feel like maybe the idea of that will serve as fodder to be confident of your decision-making too. Plus, that's your day and no one else's.