novastar_
Hopefully a pretty corpse
- Sep 20, 2024
- 8
I imagine it's so sudden to make an account and immediately start spam posting, but it's oddly refreshing to be able to speak about this. Even though, I haven't picked a full proof method, I know when I'm going to go through with it. Next summer, 2025!! I have things I want to get done before then: get my own place, get through this year of college, and some silly anime conventions (lol). I never truly knew what I was going to do with my degree, everyone asks what I'm going to be but I never know what to say. The truth is, I never saw myself being alive at that point. I know everyone says that, but I physically cannot imagine myself in that position. It's like completely blank.
Though, I feel bad imagining my mom finding out I'm dead. That's always kind of bugged me, even in my previous almost attempts. I have a boyfriend, I don't know if we will still be together then, but I hope so. At the same time, I don't. I really don't know what to do, other than the fact that I'm going to do it this time. I'm thrilled about it ending, truly. I don't want to be here anymore, I'm so tired of being so tired. If that even makes sense. I don't know. Is it selfish to say I want to be a pretty corpse? I know I put that under my profile and that it would be completely out of my control, but still. I just want to remain skinny and pretty. That's so awful. Anyways, I feel slightly better having said this, my notes app is getting tired of me lol. Sorry, I'm aware that this doesn't make much sense, but I'm really only posting for myself. I haven't picked on a day, but I know it will be after I've accomplished what I wanted to do. Summer's a good season.
Though, I feel bad imagining my mom finding out I'm dead. That's always kind of bugged me, even in my previous almost attempts. I have a boyfriend, I don't know if we will still be together then, but I hope so. At the same time, I don't. I really don't know what to do, other than the fact that I'm going to do it this time. I'm thrilled about it ending, truly. I don't want to be here anymore, I'm so tired of being so tired. If that even makes sense. I don't know. Is it selfish to say I want to be a pretty corpse? I know I put that under my profile and that it would be completely out of my control, but still. I just want to remain skinny and pretty. That's so awful. Anyways, I feel slightly better having said this, my notes app is getting tired of me lol. Sorry, I'm aware that this doesn't make much sense, but I'm really only posting for myself. I haven't picked on a day, but I know it will be after I've accomplished what I wanted to do. Summer's a good season.
