Venting Petrified of eating

[willitpass]

I'm so hungry. So hungry. I want pizza with ranch more than anything right now. It sounds beyond amazing. I would do anything for some pizza right now. The mental hunger is unbelievable right now. But I can't do it. I'm terrified. I'm so scared of food and eating and weight gain. I'm so scared. I'm angry at myself for having a few saltines and an english muffin, I know if I get pizza I'll hate myself even more. And it always makes me feel so sick and bloated to eat. I'm so hungry. Physically and mentally I am starving.

 

[blueming]

Same here... I've been restricting quite well for some time but just now I got so hungry that I ate a bowl of instant noodles + two eggs. I suppose it's not an insane amount but to me it feels like a huge binge, and I hate myself for it. I hate the physical feeling of being full and I know I'll gain weight now which makes me more suicidal. I'm sorry I can't say anything helpful to you :(( just know that you're not alone in this and if you ever want to talk you can PM me *hugs*

 

[dkrw]

Then don't eat a pizza just eat an apple or smthhh it's not that hard. If you know you are going to feel guilty binging on calorie-rich food then eat something else lol

 

[willitpass]

Then don't eat a pizza just eat an apple or smthhh it's not that hard. If you know you are going to feel guilty binging on calorie-rich food then eat something else lol

"It's not that hard". Clearly you've never had an eating disorder, and I'm glad you have that naivety. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. But when you have an eating disorder it's not like I can just decide to eat. It's not that easy. What I would give for it to be that easy. An apple still scares me, maybe not as badly as a slice of pizza, but it still scares me. All food scares me. It's a never ending battle in my mind. The pizza is just my current craving, and I literally cannot stop thinking about pizza, but it is not as simple as having an apple instead of pizza. I'm glad you don't understand. I hope you never understand. But "it's not that hard" couldn't be further from the truth.

 

[Ash]

Then don't eat a pizza just eat an apple or smthhh it's not that hard. If you know you are going to feel guilty binging on calorie-rich food then eat something else lol

If you haven't got anything helpful to say, then maybe don't say anything at all?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Then don't eat a pizza just eat an apple or smthhh it's not that hard. If you know you are going to feel guilty binging on calorie-rich food then eat something else lol

It´s not that easy for some, you and I might not have such intense cravings for food but that doesn´t mean we should judge this forum isn´t a place for mockery, I assume since you´re a member on this forum you have your own problems as have we all for bigger or for small so please keep that in mind.

 

[rozeske]

Then don't eat a pizza just eat an apple or smthhh it's not that hard. If you know you are going to feel guilty binging on calorie-rich food then eat something else lol

You seem new....we don't do that here. There are other social media platforms for that kind of thing but things are alot different here. If you can't relate to someone's suffering or don't have any thing supportive or constructive to say just ignore and move on or out.

 

[dkrw]

"It's not that hard". Clearly you've never had an eating disorder, and I'm glad you have that naivety. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. But when you have an eating disorder it's not like I can just decide to eat. It's not that easy. What I would give for it to be that easy. An apple still scares me, maybe not as badly as a slice of pizza, but it still scares me. All food scares me. It's a never ending battle in my mind. The pizza is just my current craving, and I literally cannot stop thinking about pizza, but it is not as simple as having an apple instead of pizza. I'm glad you don't understand. I hope you never understand. But "it's not that hard" couldn't be further from the truth.

I

Then don't eat a pizza just eat an apple or smthhh it's not that hard. If you know you are going to feel guilty binging on calorie-rich food then eat something else lol

actually I am really sorry! Am going through stuff and took it out on this post on the forum. I know how you feel, I was diagnosed with ED and also have been underweight for yrs. Am angry at myself mostly please have a good meal

Sorry again!!

 

[DepressedDude]

Shouldn't giving up on life cancel it out? I've been having takeaway everyday for the past 6 months cos it's the only thing I enjoy besides sleeping.

 

[willitpass]

Shouldn't giving up on life cancel it out? I've been having takeaway everyday for the past 6 months cos it's the only thing I enjoy besides sleeping.

My eating disorder is part of the reason I want to CTB. I wish wanting to die allowed me the freedom to eat, but it's rather the other way around, my inability to eat just makes me more ready to die. I cannot just turn off anorexia but god what I would give to be able to do that.
I'm so hungry. I want that fucking ranch with pizza. I need permission for the fucking ranch with pizza. I got an ad for pizza earlier and it's been a spiral ever since.

 

[InboxRain292]

Oh god- I understand you!!! I fully get what you mean- I have binge eating issues and that has been feeding so much to my suicidal thoughts. Once I eat, I just keep eating... then I try to "restrict" but well, we all know that it ends up in a cycle. I hope one day, you break free from the eating disorder demon , don't let it consume you!