Discussion Pay it forward

[SuiSqueeze92]

This world has no fucking hope. I'll delete my profile because I seem to offend people because those are blind and see what they want to see. Thank you for rehabilitating me to see that I don't need this toxic bullshit.

 

[Fragile]

This world has no fucking hope. I'll delete my profile because I seem to offend people because those are blind and see what they want to see. Thank you for rehabilitating me to see that I don't need this toxic bullshit.

no one forced you to write a passive aggressive post telling others what to do and why their struggles are not real.

have a good life and be the change you want to see in the world i guess.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Attitudes like this contribute to the stigma around mental health ,the silence of speaking out .
Invalidating others experiences by comparing to your own isn't helpful.

everyone is different. Mental health is real... please don't confuse an illness with an excuse

Yeah.. It's the exact same sentiment as when people tell people with depression to 'cheer up'. It's not for you or anyone else to say what hard times are for someone. We are all individual and perceive things differently, we feel differently, we think differently as shown by this post. You're basically telling people to get over it, and that hits a nerve. I'm not sure how you thought this was gonna go tbh. As soon as I read the post it was obvious this was gonna turn into a shit show. If you have so many problems with this forum and it's users, quite simply, don't log in.

 

[Slow85]

This world has no fucking hope. I'll delete my profile because I seem to offend people because those are blind and see what they want to see. Thank you for rehabilitating me to see that I don't need this toxic bullshit.

This a complete contradiction? The world has no hope - yet you just need to try harder ..... Don't feel sorry for yourself and delete your profile ..... channel your efforts into 'paying it forward '

 

[I’mDone]

maybe one person at least saw this and said "you know what, I'm gonna give it a go". Like I said... let your problems define you or not, that's up to people, but it won't help and will only validate the depression people face. Yeah, good idea... choose to be an accessory to end ones life, I choose motivation to do better. Sorry.

Do you honestly think that the vast majority of people on here HAVEN'T given it a go? Do you think people decide to ctb on a whim? Most people have tried and tried every avenue, every possibility to find happiness before making that decision. You're being really harsh and judgemental.

Maybe you're the one who has never experienced real hard times, so you were so easily able to snap out of it. Have you considered that? That your burden may be so much lighter than that of others, so you don't know the meaning of true misery?

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Do you honestly think that the vast majority of people on here HAVEN'T given it a go? Do you think people decide to ctb on a whim? Most people have tried and tried every avenue, every possibility to find happiness before making that decision. You're being really harsh and judgemental.

Maybe you're the one who has never experienced real hard times, so you were so easily able to snap out of it. Have you considered that? That your burden may be so much lighter than that of others, so you don't know the meaning of true misery?

No I've gone through the exact definition of "very hard times". But thank you for your useless input. Wanna hear my life story? And why the fuck is there a wait on deleting your profile?

Ever watch someone disappear from an IED and carry him in 3 separate body bags? I.D. dead bodies that are somewhat cooked from the blasts? Just a lil snippet for you snowflake. My life started shitty when I was 4 because some asshole likes little boys. Another little example for ya. You don't even deserve to hear this but I wanna show you that I came out victorious because I'm fucking strong.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I seem to offend people because those are blind and see what they want to see. Thank you for rehabilitating me to see that I don't need this toxic bullshit.

Dude. Every post you've made on this thread seems like you're in PTSD mode. Or drunk. Or both. Get someone to talk you down.


For when you're more chill and have come down a bit...

It's a natural response to be offended when someone goes on the offensive and tells them they're not doing enough, and that they're wrong, for whatever reasons the one going on the offensive decides.

But whoa. Then you projected onto everyone that their being offended and defensive about it is toxic bullshit, when the offense arose because you were, you know, throwing out some toxic bullshit, under the guise of doing public good. Do you know how many parents, my own included, hit their children to do good for them? Do you see the correlation?

Sounds to me that you resent having to get up at 4 a.m. and walk a mile to work, survived severe injuries, never fully recovered, and suffer. Hell yeah, that's some shit to resent. But then the target for your resentment became everyone else on the forum: You can do it, so they can too! They don't even know what suffering is! What a bunch of goddamned pussies! Toughen up! Quit moaning and bitching and do something for others, you selfish, entitled shits! It'll make you feel better! Oh, I'm wrong? No, fuck you, you're blind. I tried to open your eyes and you don't appreciate it. Thanks for waking me up to how blind I was that you're all a bunch of idiots. I'm outta here!

You're blaming everyone else for not taking the shit you're slinging. You sound drunk and belligerent.

You don't have to leave the forum unless you want and choose to, but if you act out like this, expect that people aren't going to say thank you for the abuse and call you a guru. It ain't enlightenment you're slinging around, it's negation and abuse.

 

[Gettlinge]

Some dude comes to a pro-choice forum, swears in every single post, brandishes his mental strength in suicidal people's faces, tells them they're snowflakes and miss his point, every single one of them somehow, what an epitome of rational thought! Holy cow imagine people like this actually exist... I hope you're just a troll.

 

[PrettyMoose]

He literally just mentioned some horrible shit he went through in his youth, after having posted about how young people don't know about hard times. I feel bad for him but damn... this is just messed up and doesn't make any logical sense.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

He literally just mentioned some horrible shit he went through in his youth, after having posted about how young people don't know about hard times. I feel bad for him but damn... this is just messed up and doesn't make any logical sense.

It's a classic expression of post-war PTSD.

 

[PrettyMoose]

It's a classic expression of post-war PTSD.

Yeah it makes sense when you bring that up. He's clearly suffering a lot under the pressure of that tough guy persona, which he might have picked up from the military as well. It's terrible how high the suicide rate is in veterans, and how little the government cares for them after having used them up in the meat grinder. What a shitty deal.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Dude. Every post you've made on this thread seems like you're in PTSD mode. Or drunk. Or both. Get someone to talk you down.


For when you're more chill and have come down a bit...

It's a natural response to be offended when someone goes on the offensive and tells them they're not doing enough, and that they're wrong, for whatever reasons the one going on the offensive decides.

But whoa. Then you projected onto everyone that their being offended and defensive about it is toxic bullshit, when the offense arose because you were, you know, throwing out some toxic bullshit, under the guise of doing public good. Do you know how many parents, my own included, hit their children to do good for them? Do you see the correlation?

Sounds to me that you resent having to get up at 4 a.m. and walk a mile to work, survived severe injuries, never fully recovered, and suffer. Hell yeah, that's some shit to resent. But then the target for your resentment became everyone else on the forum: You can do it, so they can too! They don't even know what suffering is! What a bunch of goddamned pussies! Toughen up! Quit moaning and bitching and do something for others, you selfish, entitled shits! It'll make you feel better! Oh, I'm wrong? No, fuck you, you're blind. I tried to open your eyes and you don't appreciate it. Thanks for waking me up to how blind I was that you're all a bunch of idiots. I'm outta here!

You're blaming everyone else for not taking the shit you're slinging. You sound drunk and belligerent.

You don't have to leave the forum unless you want and choose to, but if you act out like this, expect that people aren't going to say thank you for the abuse and call you a guru. It ain't enlightenment you're slinging around, it's negation and abuse.

I do like you... by the way.

I am leaving the forum though. This is my reason though to want to kill myself because I seem to not do any good, offend people, people say I cuss too much, mean, crazy, violent etc. I am almost like two people it seems or the devil, Idk I can't decide. So you're probably right because in real life people try to get away from me I suppose and then I'm here with my dick in my hand watching my world crumble around me. So yeah I'm an asshole but feel better by knowing I self sabotage myself and follow in my father's foot steps by failure.. and I'm sure eventually I'll say fuck it. I mean shit, I was "mean" to a buddy of mine, I saw it as tough love.. and he killed himself. I live with that everyday. So just feel better and laugh behind my back lol most do anyway I'm sure.

No this isn't a feel bad for me reply... it's my way of saying y'all are probably right.

Yeah it makes sense when you bring that up. He's clearly suffering a lot under the pressure of that tough guy persona, which he might have picked up from the military as well. It's terrible how high the suicide rate is in veterans, and how little the government cares for them after having used them up in the meat grinder. What a shitty deal.

My doc told me it's most likely because I was hurt as a kid and built it up to never let that happen again. Would've been nice if my mom got that 500k though.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@SuiSqueeze92 it would be great if you had someone irl to talk you down when you get in a space like this. Do you recognize when it's happening?

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

@SuiSqueeze92 it would be great if you had someone irl to talk you down when you get in a space like this. Do you recognize when it's happening?

I have my girlfriend but she just doesn't know what to say or do pretty much. And usually when it's too late. Or chest pains, heart starts racing, mind and I explode because it won't stop unless I do, like punching a wall in your drywall when you're pissed and you feel relief. The thing that scares me is when I get in that mode, it's like I'm hunting for something/someone and become a whole different person. I'm starting to think I'm a sociopath. I miss my Haldol lol.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I have my girlfriend but she just doesn't know what to say or do pretty much. And usually when it's too late. Or chest pains, heart starts racing, mind and I explode because it won't stop unless I do, like punching a wall in your drywall when you're pissed and you feel relief. The thing that scares me is when I get in that mode, it's like I'm hunting for something/someone and become a whole different person. I'm starting to think I'm a sociopath. I miss my Haldol lol.

I can totally see what you're saying about hunting (going on the offensive, seeking a target) and becoming a different person (like "the devil," as you called it, taking over).

Do you want a few techniques to try?

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

I can totally see what you're saying about hunting (going on the offensive, seeking a target) and becoming a different person (like "the devil," as you called it, taking over).

Do you want a few techniques to try?

Sure, wouldn't hurt. But in the past, trying techniques never did much because it's "too slow" of a fix and I'm too damn fast... so I say fuck it.

 

[PrettyMoose]

I hope you don't leave. If you do then I hope you can find peace in however that means to you. I know I won't be laughing, and I'm not offended. We have had disagreements here but I still wish you well.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Sure, wouldn't hurt. But in the past, trying techniques never did much because it's "too slow" of a fix and I'm too damn fast... so I say fuck it.

• Lay on the bed on your back, and hit the bed by flinging your arms out to the sides.

• Look up how to do Tapas Acupressure Technique, you can find it on YouTube. Basically:

1. pinch the bridge of your nose with your thumb and ring finger

2. touch between your eyes with the middle finger of the same hand

3. put the palm of your other hand across the occipital ridge

4. focus on what you are feeling in your body

5. release when you feel a shift, even just a subtle one

Doing TAT when this happens should, over time, bring about noticeable incremental decreases in the charge, not at the moment it comes up, but the next time it does. It may take a few times before you start to notice the decrease. After you've done it a few times, at step 4, you can say, "I release all root causes, known and unknown."

There are other ways to do TAT in steps and wok through traumas, but how I've outlined it here is a good start and is effective. You can even do it when you're not triggered, and try to feel the feelings that you do when you are triggered, so you're approaching them when you're more in control, rather than when they have more power.

• Look up Emotional Freedom Technique. Better to do this one when you're not triggered. There will also be incremental decreases in symptoms. If you get charged during or after, switch to TAT and hitting the bed.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

• Lay on the bed on your back, and hit the bed by flinging your arms out to the sides.

• Look up how to do Tapas Acupressure Technique, you can find it on YouTube. Basically:

1. pinch the bridge of your nose with your thumb and ring finger

2. touch between your eyes with the middle finger of the same hand

3. put the palm of your other hand across the occipital ridge

4. focus on what you are feeling in your body

5. release when you feel a shift, even just a subtle one

Doing TAT when this happens should, over time, bring about noticeable incremental decreases in the charge, not at the moment it comes up, but the next time it does. It may take a few times before you start to notice the decrease. After you've done it a few times, at step 4, you can say, "I release all root causes, known and unknown."

There are other ways to do TAT in steps and wok through traumas, but how I've outlined it here is a good start and is effective. You can even do it when you're not triggered, and try to feel the feelings that you do when you are triggered, so you're approaching them when you're more in control, rather than when they have more power.

• Look up Emotional Freedom Technique. Better to do this one when you're not triggered. There will also be incremental decreases in symptoms. If you get charged during or after, switch to TAT and hitting the bed.

I have heard of TAT actually. I will give them a try, if I can. Thank you. I want to try CBT as my doc recommended but that's damn near impossible given my situation. It's like I want to get better, but I can't. Or my brain tells me to deceive the docs when I do get help so I can gtf outta there, or get a kick out of tricking someone with a degree such as them. Do the same with my meds lol I seem to stop taking them to feel like my real self again... so yeah no bueno. I'm a weird dude lol. Oh and I do like the technique of tensing up your muscles from head to toe for relief, Army was teaching a few more because of the suicides and guys going to jail after deployment. I guess I can see others change as a person for the worst but not myself, like triggering my pancreatitis knowing alcohol isn't good for me, and then I realize shit and can take a step back.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I have heard of TAT actually. I will give them a try, if I can. Thank you. I want to try CBT as my doc recommended but that's damn near impossible given my situation. It's like I want to get better, but I can't. Or my brain tells me to deceive the docs when I do get help so I can gtf outta there, or get a kick out of tricking someone with a degree such as them. Do the same with my meds lol I seem to stop taking them to feel like my real self again... so yeah no bueno. I'm a weird dude lol. Oh and I do like the technique of tensing up your muscles from head to toe for relief, Army was teaching a few more because of the suicides and guys going to jail after deployment. I guess I can see others change as a person for the worst but not myself, like triggering my pancreatitis knowing alcohol isn't good for me, and then I realize shit and can take a step back.

To me, CBT has its uses, but I find it to be one tool of many, it doesn't release a charge when I'm triggered, it's more about helping me think things through. I found The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Workbook to have more benefits.

 

[pete_x]

No I've gone through the exact definition of "very hard times". But thank you for your useless input. Wanna hear my life story? And why the fuck is there a wait on deleting your profile?

Ever watch someone disappear from an IED and carry him in 3 separate body bags? I.D. dead bodies that are somewhat cooked from the blasts? Just a lil snippet for you snowflake. My life started shitty when I was 4 because some asshole likes little boys. Another little example for ya. You don't even deserve to hear this but I wanna show you that I came out victorious because I'm fucking strong.

I would like to hear your story.

 

[Jean Améry]

I am leaving the forum though. This is my reason though to want to kill myself because I seem to not do any good, offend people, people say I cuss too much, mean, crazy, violent etc. I am almost like two people it seems or the devil, Idk I can't decide. So you're probably right because in real life people try to get away from me I suppose and then I'm here with my dick in my hand watching my world crumble around me. So yeah I'm an asshole but feel better by knowing I self sabotage myself and follow in my father's foot steps by failure.. and I'm sure eventually I'll say fuck it. I mean shit, I was "mean" to a buddy of mine, I saw it as tough love.. and he killed himself. I live with that everyday. So just feel better and laugh behind my back lol most do anyway I'm sure.

Whatever you deem is best. Still I can't help thinking your message in itself is positive and well-meaning albeit worded in a way that seems needlessly confrontational. I'm sure if you tried to see others' point of view and shared your message of hope in a less direct take-it-or-leave it sort of way it would be far more effective. Obviously since you are or have been a soldier it's quit understandable you've been taught to communicate in this way (blunt, direct, to the point) so I certainly don't hold it against you (personally I much prefer this to a more roundabout, diffuse and unclear way of communicating) nor do I think others should. If we condemn everyone who has a strong opinion on something as being offensive pretty soon the freedom of opinion that is central to this forum will be dead. Obviously the rules still apply and we should remain civil with each-other.

I believe you have a point and for two reasons: 1) it's been proven helping others is the single best way to feel better yourself and 2) it would be great if those who deem their own life worthless would have the completely selfless and highly admirable inclination to at least try to help others and make this world (which is pretty shitty I think we can all agree) into a slightly better place than they found it. Of course for some this is impossible and they really cannot go on anymore: since we cannot know which is which empathy and taking people's word for it seems to me the wisest course of action.

That being it's clear you've been hurt pretty badly and in a number of ways. I'm sorry you had to go through all that and I think you do belong to this forum in a manner of speaking as those who end up here are nearly all lost souls who are experiencing hell in their own way.

I think if you would stay it could be helpful: both for yourself since you'd have a safe space to express yourself and find understanding from others (either because they went through very experiences or in general because they know all too well what it is like to feel so bad you want it to be over for good) and because I'm sure if you abandon the tough love/judgemental attitude (I'm sure you don't mean it that way but clearly this is how it's perceived and insults like 'snowflake' are not appropriate at all) and show your fellow-sufferers empathy and respect we'll all be the better for it.

It's clear you need healing and want to help others. I think both goals could be achieved at least in part through this forum. Of course you are free to do whatever you want.

As a final note I'd say (and I've been here for quite a while and a lot longer than you) that this forum truly is pro choice: we do not push people towards death nor will we offer false hope or pro life encouragement to those who have made up their mind. The individual (his or her will, personality, experiences, thoughts, feelings and worth as a human-being) is key.

The best of luck to you whatever you decide.

 

[I’mDone]

No I've gone through the exact definition of "very hard times". But thank you for your useless input. Wanna hear my life story? And why the fuck is there a wait on deleting your profile?

Ever watch someone disappear from an IED and carry him in 3 separate body bags? I.D. dead bodies that are somewhat cooked from the blasts? Just a lil snippet for you snowflake. My life started shitty when I was 4 because some asshole likes little boys. Another little example for ya. You don't even deserve to hear this but I wanna show you that I came out victorious because I'm fucking strong.

You're not the only one who's seen action or carried the pieces of their comrades away in bags. You're not the only one who got groomed and raped. Give your head a wobble and stop believing that you're the only one that's suffered. You're nothing special princess.

 

[K-O]

mates ive been reading this thread i think it is important and pls- nobody go anywhere !
this is exactly what makes this place special! innit?
heres a mini series that i adored! please take a look- @SuiSqueeze92 :)
i personalty know war i know death and loss i know cptsd i know kindness and evil..
i get both sides here! because there are no sides.. (sorry for the stickiness) xx

The Virtues (TV Mini Series 2019) ⭐ 8.2 | Drama

47m

www.imdb.com

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@SuiSqueeze92 and @I'mDone, y'all poking back and forth at each other and about to have a bar fight now? Do we gotta clear all the glass and make a space in the middle of the floor?

Can you both step back a bit and try to show some mutual respect for each other's triggers and how you're each reacting to the other's?

If not, I'll just step back. I don't wanna get hit.

Sending affection and respect to you both. Former ARNG btw.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

@SuiSqueeze92 and @I'mDone, y'all poking back and forth at each other and about to have a bar fight now? Do we gotta clear all the glass and make a space in the middle of the floor?

Can you both step back a bit and try to show some mutual respect for each other's triggers and how you're each reacting to the other's?

If not, I'll just step back. I don't wanna get hit.

Sending affection and respect to you both. Former ARNG btw.

Yeah he received my message loud and clear. Pretty much what I said...but yeah I'm down to get down lol

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'm glad this thread had a happy ending.

I did the same thing not long ago - it's part of what brought me to this forum.
A good friend, someone I really loved and cared about, was depressed after breaking up with her boyfriend.
I became frustrated with her and played the tough-love card of "fine, you just wallow in self-pity then."
It was not recieved the way I intended. She never forgave me for it, and it ultimately ended our friendship.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

I'm glad this thread had a happy ending.

I did the same thing not long ago - it's part of what brought me to this forum.
A good friend, someone I really loved and cared about, was depressed after breaking up with her boyfriend.
I became frustrated with her and played the tough-love card of "fine, you just wallow in self-pity then."
It was not recieved the way I intended. She never forgave me for it, and it ultimately ended our friendship.

Yeah it sucks when you feel like you're doing some good and then nothing good happens afterward. I do wish I was more kind to my buddy, just wonder if he would've chosen a different route... but he was losing his mind off of the heroin and methadone, was homeless for a long time and MIA and it showed me he was more vulnerable than I thought because he got back on his feet.