Venting PARTNERS: Looking for pity sex or genuine CTB partner?!

[GoodPersonEffed]

**Trigger warning**

Here's a minutes-old predatory thread from Off Topic that I predict will be removed by mods. Yes, I reported it.

In the screen shot, I cropped off the identity of the poster because I'm sharing to bring safety and empowermemt to others, not to incite the villagers to take up their torches and rise up against him. I'll let the mods do the torching if it is in fact required.

Edit: It was indeed immediately removed. Go mods.

 

[Heart of Ice]

People here telling men to get empathy while at the same time not giving a damn about how lonely they feel. Just lol

It is unfortunate that so many men are predatory, but it is a fact we women live with every time we go out, go to a bar, go on a date, sometimes even when we go home. Around the world, men can go out in public alone much more freely, without having to be vigilant about who is targeting them for assault. At best, I suspect you are unaware of your privilege as a man and that women do not share it. At worst, I suspect you want me to lower my vigilance.

I just find it terribly ironic that many men have to cope with loneliness and women have to cope with unwanted advances, both aggressive and non-aggressive. I guess you're screwed (figuratively) either way these days, no matter which sex you are born as.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

People here telling men to get empathy while at the same time not giving a damn about how lonely they feel. Just lol

It is unfortunate that so many men are predatory, but it is a fact we women live with every time we go out, go to a bar, go on a date, sometimes even when we go home. Around the world, men can go out in public alone much more freely, without having to be vigilant about who is targeting them for assault. At best, I suspect you are unaware of your privilege as a man and that women do not share it. At worst, I suspect you want me to lower my vigilance.

I just find it terribly ironic that many men have to cope with loneliness and women have to cope with unwanted advances, both aggressive and non-aggressive. I guess you're screwed (figuratively) either way these days, no matter which sex you are born as.

@Heart of Ice , I'm glad you kept the "lol" in the first quote. It emphasized the derisive contempt of the statement, which was directed at an intended victim who got away, and at those who responded to the alarm she sounded in posting the OP.

Recall that Ted Bundy faked an injury to draw out his victims' sympathy and helpfulness in order to override their self-protective instincts. The ones who escaped smelled the manure that fertilized the flower.

And they told others.

 

[HighwayToHell]

So I have been through over 7 partners so far. Two disappeared, one wanted me just to be there, a few changed their minds and one really looked legit.

We made multiple plans and even sorted pre meds out etc. Met in person. Spoke for over 3 months.
The whole time he tried to incite sexual goings on. I declined. At the same time a friend of mine was having the same problem. Always older guys looking to have some kind of "relationship" before the grand finale..

Are they genuine suicidal? Catfishin? Sextrolling?
Why go to so much effort to turn around and say you have someone else and have had the whole time?
I didn't pull my knickers down? Was that the problem?

I have found the whole ordeal violating and embarrassing. I feel even more adamant on ctb on my own now.

Born alone, lived alone, die alone.... Has anyone else had an experience similar to this??

My heart froze over a a little more today... I'm ready to leave this confusing, painful, non important excuse of a life behind.

Roll on the lights out CODE BLUE

Are you a woman? If you are then I'd recommend only partnering up with another woman. There are men out there who see suicidal women as a personal fetish.

 

[omoidarui]

Your defense tells me that you don't empathize with women's vulnerability nor desire our safety. Your wants and needs come first. You minimize us by saying our calling out is laughable. I distrust you because you're trying to redirect my attention from known threats and manipulate my perceptions of reality through minimizing.

At best, I suspect you are unaware of your privilege as a man and that women do not share it. At worst, I suspect you want me to lower my vigilance.

I think we should make everyone aware of the risks of meeting up with anyone from the Partners Megathread, but not in a way that infers another user has meant something by a post that it is not likely they meant at all

I don't agree with his perspective either in the context of this thread, but spanishguy /does/ say he's not referring to "predatory trash" with his sentiments. If a post in itself is not in defence of predators, I don't see how it can be suggested the poster is trying to lower anyone's vigilance unless there is more proof of that. If we all made assumptions about a person's true intentions because of one post that is vaguely conflicting with the topic's motif, there would be an atmosphere on this forum such that we couldn't opine anything in fear of being misunderstood !

Basically I agree with your defence of the OP, but your added portrayal of another member has made me uncomfortable

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I think we should make everyone aware of the risks of meeting up with anyone from the Partners Megathread, but not in a way that infers another user has meant something by a post that it is not likely they meant at all

I don't agree with his perspective either in the context of this thread, but spanishguy /does/ say he's not referring to "predatory trash" with his sentiments. If a post in itself is not in defence of predators, I don't see how it can be suggested the poster is trying to lower anyone's vigilance unless there is more proof of that. If we all made assumptions about a person's true intentions because of one post that is vaguely conflicting with the topic's motif, there would be an atmosphere on this forum such that we couldn't opine anything in fear of being misunderstood !

Basically I agree with your defence of the OP, but your added portrayal of another member has made me uncomfortable

I hear you that you are experiencing discomfort in response to my post.

I could address it by listing, sentence by sentence, the tactics he used to deflect, minimize, and recreate meaning. If you or anyone seeks that, feel free to PM me. I'm happy to help increase awareness as long as that is the intention for asking.

I feel confident in how I identified and addressed the behaviors, and in my placing a boundary against the behaviors and the poster -- most especially within the context of this thread.

 

[Pupu]

I just find it terribly ironic that many men have to cope with loneliness and women have to cope with unwanted advances, both aggressive and non-aggressive. I guess you're screwed (figuratively) either way these days, no matter which sex you are born as.

See, women can be lonely too. Filling a hole doesn't make them less lonely. Let's just not mix together being lonely and not getting laid.

 

[Heart of Ice]

See, women can be lonely too. Filling a hole doesn't make them less lonely. Let's just not mix together being lonely and not getting laid.

For a woman, it is substantially more difficult to be lonely.

 

[Lorntroubles]

Lonely men and women is okay. But you need to state that you are lonely and looking for sex. You must state what you are looking for. What's not okay is when you turn your loneliness into something predatory and throw yourself onto someone. If it's agreed upon to be there for each other without sex, don't do anything other than that or ask for anything other than that. I get where OP is coming from, it's rude she really wants to have a connection and a friend and can't have that or they will only be a friend if she gives up her body. It's upsetting some people in here try to justify and call this ridiculous. It's really not ridiculous to ask for a real ctb partner when you are really suicidal.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

For a woman, it is substantially more difficult to be lonely.

Ooh, provocative statement!

I want to agree, I want to support the other side, I hear a challenge to weigh them against each other. It's called the battle of the sexes for a reason. More like a war.

But I'll jump to the end and share my personal conclusion: We each feel exquisitely our own suffering, and the enormity of the limitations and challenges presented to each gender.

 

[Pupu]

For a woman, it is substantially more difficult to be lonely.

It is easier to fill hole than loneliness. And if someone is trying to fill that loneliness it is pretty messed up that therewill be line of men ready to fill that hole but pretending to be a friend.

 

[waterbottleman]

So I have been through over 7 partners so far. Two disappeared, one wanted me just to be there, a few changed their minds and one really looked legit.

We made multiple plans and even sorted pre meds out etc. Met in person. Spoke for over 3 months.
The whole time he tried to incite sexual goings on. I declined. At the same time a friend of mine was having the same problem. Always older guys looking to have some kind of "relationship" before the grand finale..

Are they genuine suicidal? Catfishin? Sextrolling?
Why go to so much effort to turn around and say you have someone else and have had the whole time?
I didn't pull my knickers down? Was that the problem?

I have found the whole ordeal violating and embarrassing. I feel even more adamant on ctb on my own now.

Born alone, lived alone, die alone.... Has anyone else had an experience similar to this??

My heart froze over a a little more today... I'm ready to leave this confusing, painful, non important excuse of a life behind.

Roll on the lights out CODE BLUE

I'm sorry OP, that sounds very frustrating, disappointing, and just straight up depressing like it would just further deflate your attitude on life. Can't even find a partner to ctb with even after going through 7 people.

Im lonely as well and it plays a big part in my willingness to ctb.

However you don't have to be completely alone when you die, you can buy a stuffed animal to be your ctb partner that is what I did

Let me introduce you to my ctb friend. She is a whale shark and is a stuffed animal/pillow hybrid. She keeps me company and her big smile and eyes make me feel better when I am lonely =)

I will be hugging her when I drink my SN and die.

 

[GinaIsReady]

But I'll jump to the end and share my personal conclusion: We each feel exquisitely our own suffering, and the enormity of the limitations and challenges presented to each gender.

Thank you for sharing this ...

 

[HadEnough1974]

H

Always was and always will be one of the risks in searching for a legitimate suicide partner.

So sorry it ended up like it has for you Side, you deserve better than that, everyone does. If you continue your search, i can only wish you better luck next time.

How about a mega thread for those wanting to go out with a "Big Bang?" That would solve the problem!!
Gh

H

How about a mega thread for those wanting to go out with a "Big Bang?" That would solve the problem!!

at was supposed to be a joke, forgot to put a lol and the end.

 

[S1mpleme]

I just find it terribly ironic that many men have to cope with loneliness and women have to cope with unwanted advances, both aggressive and non-aggressive. I guess you're screwed (figuratively) either way these days, no matter which sex you are born as.

I don't want to offend anyone, but I think being a woman is easier to find someone.

Are you a woman? If you are then I'd recommend only partnering up with another woman. There are men out there who see suicidal women as a personal fetish.

Don't label people. There are women too that try to take advantage of a men. Don't judge, cause everyone is different.

 

[HadEnough1974]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I think being a woman is easier to find someone.

Don't label people. There are women too that try to take advantage of a men. Don't judge, cause everyone is different.

I'm not a woman and I would disagree. Just my thoughts.

 

[S1mpleme]

I'm sorry OP, that sounds very frustrating, disappointing, and just straight up depressing like it would just further deflate your attitude on life. Can't even find a partner to ctb with even after going through 7 people.

Im lonely as well and it plays a big part in my willingness to ctb.

However you don't have to be completely alone when you die, you can buy a stuffed animal to be your ctb partner that is what I did

Let me introduce you to my ctb friend. She is a whale shark and is a stuffed animal/pillow hybrid. She keeps me company and her big smile and eyes make me feel better when I am lonely =)

I will be hugging her when I drink my SN and die.

Your toy makes me cry, why someone like you, who deserves to have friends, doesn't have anyone and going to die alone? I'm also lonely and I don't feel like things can replace human. This shitty world, I want to CTB even more.

I'm not a woman and I would disagree. Just my thoughts.

If I remember you're gay, right? That's different.

 

[HadEnough1974]

Your toy makes me cry, why someone like you, who deserves to have friends, doesn't have anyone and going to die alone? I'm also lonely and I don't feel like things can replace human. This shitty world, I want to CTB even more.

If I remember you're gay, right? That's different.

Yes I'm gay but I haven't had sex in almost one year. If I wanted to, or felt like it I suppose I could but I want something more meaningful than a one night. I'm not the kind of guy that puts my dick in a random guys ass!! Lol

 

[S1mpleme]

Yes I'm gay but I haven't had sex in almost one year. If I wanted to, or felt like it I suppose I could but I want something more meaningful than a one night. I'm not the kind of guy that puts my dick in a random guys ass!! Lol

I'm not saying that you're that kind of guy. But society really sucks. Men have to do first steps and women must wait for that steps. Why can't just anyone say about feelings? Who made these stupid rules. I don't see any difference between two genders (except bodies), I mean I've seen both of them and strong and weak, I can cook better than some women and I don't believe this is women's job only - to cook, be a babysitter and a cleaner. This is all bullshit. Everyone does whatever likes or can, doesn't matter women or men.

 

[The nerd]

As a man, I agree, we are horrible and think with our dicks a lot. I am a married man with kids, have no interest in sex outside of my wife, but I get where the appeal can be with someone on this site. A lot of us come here because there is literally nowhere else to go and noone to talk to or nobody that understands us. To find someone, especially of the opposite sex, that gets us or feels the same way, is enticing I guess. The bond that can be formed with something as serious as CTB is stronger than anything, and can elicit feelings of love.

I posted here about my angel, the one that kept me alive. I love them with all of my heart. They vanished and left me without as much of a warning. I would never hurt them, or look for sex. It wasn't that kind of love. It was a different kind. I would never leave my family for them, it was different. I cannot explain it. Maybe an 'I appreciate you, thank you for being there' love. Wish they could have been a lifelong friend, but it wasn't meant to be. I rambled enough, hope you understand. But there is a sense of community that I feel is important in final days and trying times.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I feel if you are a woman, you should seek a female partner and avoid the men who are seeking a female partner.

 

[Jessamine]

So I have been through over 7 partners so far. Two disappeared, one wanted me just to be there, a few changed their minds and one really looked legit.

We made multiple plans and even sorted pre meds out etc. Met in person. Spoke for over 3 months.
The whole time he tried to incite sexual goings on. I declined. At the same time a friend of mine was having the same problem. Always older guys looking to have some kind of "relationship" before the grand finale..

Are they genuine suicidal? Catfishin? Sextrolling?
Why go to so much effort to turn around and say you have someone else and have had the whole time?
I didn't pull my knickers down? Was that the problem?

I have found the whole ordeal violating and embarrassing. I feel even more adamant on ctb on my own now.

Born alone, lived alone, die alone.... Has anyone else had an experience similar to this??

My heart froze over a a little more today... I'm ready to leave this confusing, painful, non important excuse of a life behind.

Roll on the lights out CODE BLUE

Hello
I think I met the same person as you and when I can message on here I'll message you about it. I was on here a while back and in a very dark desperate state.. I'm still in a pretty bad way but last year I was insanely bad.. self harm, killing myself with alcohol/ drugs etc. I did definitely get contacted by several men who looking back were very predatory/ dangerous. I know they weren't really suicidal.. or at least, if they were they were taking an odd route to ctb through being highly sexual with vulnerable women on here. I can't believe situations I almost got myself in. One guy wanting to pay my plane ticket to him to go somewhere lonely to drown with him. I was actually considering it as my mind was fucked. Women watch the situations you get yourself in here seriously. At the time I didn't care, I thought I want to be dead so who cares? But I have a little more clarity now. Yes I'm going to ctb at some point but it's not imminent and I'm not as vulnerable as last year. Just be careful.

 

[Chronicillness]

I don't see the appeal to having a partner to CTB with.

No friends, no real connection with my family, no online friends―and no CTB partner(s). I much prefer it that way tbh.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I have no desire to have a ctb partner either. Why build a bond to break it soon after? Is it do with getting over nerves? Or for mutual encouragement? I guess it might be nice to share the process leading up to it? I'm seeing the benefits now lol.

 

[xBrialesana]

For a woman, it is substantially more difficult to be lonely.

I wish this view would stop being spread. It's sad. Maybe it is true; maybe a woman can get laid a little easier. Doesn't make you less lonely :(

Hot enough to fuck but not pretty enough to marry or date.. that gets thrown around a lot

I'm sorry OP, that sounds very frustrating, disappointing, and just straight up depressing like it would just further deflate your attitude on life. Can't even find a partner to ctb with even after going through 7 people.

Im lonely as well and it plays a big part in my willingness to ctb.

However you don't have to be completely alone when you die, you can buy a stuffed animal to be your ctb partner that is what I did

Let me introduce you to my ctb friend. She is a whale shark and is a stuffed animal/pillow hybrid. She keeps me company and her big smile and eyes make me feel better when I am lonely =)

I will be hugging her when I drink my SN and die.

I love whale sharks. I always wanted to swim with them.

 

[Secrets1]

Quite a sad story to you OP. Devastating chain of events. My heart goes out to you. Sexual issues that damage trust towards people cause so much pain.

Just a personal viewpoint but I don't think ctb should be a shared activity. Everyone deserves autonomy to make this decision themselves up until the last minute and a partnership puts that critical freedom at risk. Consciously or subconsciously. Personally, in my last moments if suicide is the cause I feel i owe it to myself to reflect on my lifetime and honor it in an intimate way. Theres no one else in my life who could understand the entirety of my experience and participate in that appropriately.

 

[Heart of Ice]

I wish this view would stop being spread. It's sad. Maybe it is true; maybe a woman can get laid a little easier. Doesn't make you less lonely :(

So a woman gets laid easier. A man can't even have that. Can you honestly say that they both are equally lonely?

 

[The nerd]

I feel if you are a woman, you should seek a female partner and avoid the men who are seeking a female partner.

So much this. Why specify a gender you want unless you are looking for some pervy stuff? I don't get it.

 

[Final Escape]

So a woman gets laid easier. A man can't even have that. Can you honestly say that they both are equally lonely?

The problem is it's more often some guy that sucks in bed or they are not attractive to u. This is worse as u get older as a woman. Also just getting laid is not enough for women the way it is enough for many men. Most men are fine as long as they get sex they desire with an attractive woman but women are not wired up to be satisfied thru casual sex especially over the longterm. So many women as they get into late 30's and 40's just stay celibate I'm thinking. Plus many are working full time jobs now so it leaves less time to meet someone or have energy for sex. We might find great sex while young and attractive but then as we get older it dries up lol! Whereas sometimes men have more sexual opportunities as they get older and become better off financially.

 

[Majin K.]

This thread basically antagonizing every man that dares have a need for a intimate connection as a last good thing before ctb. Pretty laughable. It's not a bad thing if both are willing.
Talking on behalf of the guys posting there that just want a connection before ctb btw, obviously not talking about the predatory trash that doesn't want to ctb. This thread is putting both groups in the same basket.

People here telling men to get empathy while at the same time not giving a damn about how lonely they feel. Just lol

That's just society in general.