Help Partner said she wants to CTB with me

[Life Is My Coffin]

For the last 8 months I've been in a weird situation where my best friend I've known for 15 years now have been having an affair on her husband with me, and before you make judgement on her

1) It's a marriage of convenience that she was heavily pressured into (him and his family pressured her to marry him so he could receive medical benefits)
2) I more or less persuaded her into it as well when we reconnected last year, mostly because we had a long history of on and off romance even before she was married
3) She really did try hard to make it work with him for many years but i came back into her life right around at the same time when the love she felt for him was fading
4) From the start she felt much guilt for doing this. Even right now she feels extremely bad that she "failed a marriage" as she tells me

If you still think she's a piece of shit despite the reasons stated, I guess I can't convince you otherwise. However I know she's a good person and she very much regrets marrying him. I would even agree with you she's shitty too if I didn't know her / her situation so well

Anyways, we had a really bad night tonight because her husband caught on about how she's not in love anymore and is leaving him. He also knows there's someone else (me) in the picture. But he doesn't know who I am, she's more or less protected my identity from him. I had my own reasons for being really upset as well but it's irrelevant

She was so distraught about this and the pressure from her own family that her marriage has fallen that she told me tonight and yesterday she wants to die. She knows I always wanted to die as well so now she is proposing we CTB together.

I'm not exactly on board because I dont believe in afterlife, and I won't be able to see her anymore if this happens. I hope she's just in a very bad place right now and will feel better in a week. i really would appreciate some help in how to handle this situation as I am a strong advocate for pro choice but I also want to suggest this isn't the right path and maybe we can find a new solace once all this blows over.

 

[Zaphkiel]

Just try to live together and be happy ? Would be a win win situation for both of you.

Other than that it's so complicated and there seems to be so much backstory (and unknowns factor, like both of your situation) that i fear no internet stranger can really help.

 

[bobblong]

You'll need to wait for at least a year before you two meet again . Her husband can put a GPS on her phone , install cameras , guilt trip her to break up with you , or even try to sue you as a "homewrecker" if this shit goes on .

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

You'll need to wait for at least a year before you two meet again . Her husband can put a GPS on her phone , install cameras , guilt trip her to break up with you , or even try to sue you as a "homewrecker" if this shit goes on .

What's funny is they did have each others location on their phones and it was her idea but she weaseled her way out of that when she got a new phone.

I've never been to her house, she's either always came to mine or got me a hotel

She took his tesla a lot to see me which has tracking on it. And even then he still never found me I appreciate your concern but I don't think that he can find me. Can you even sue someone for that sort of thing?

 

[bobblong]

What's funny is they did have each others location on their phones and it was her idea but she weaseled her way out of that when she got a new phone.

I've never been to her house, she's either always came to mine or got me a hotel

She took his tesla a lot to see me which has tracking on it. And even then he still never found me

He can still hire Private Investigators to track you down bro , he's dumb but has a lotta money.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

Seems like she might be talking impulsively. Don't rush into this sort of thing. Plus, as the person above says, if you can be happy together then...that beats suicide.

No matter what, though, it's something that has to be carefully thought out. She is at her lowest point and is perhaps not in the right state of mind to make such a momentous decision. It would be immoral to encourage her at such a point when her reasoning may not last the week.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

Seems like she might be talking impulsively. Don't rush into this sort of thing. Plus, as the person above says, if you can be happy together then...that beats suicide.

No matter what, though, it's something that has to be carefully thought out. She is at her lowest point and is perhaps not in the right state of mind to make such a momentous decision. It would be immoral to encourage her at such a point when her reasoning may not last the week.

I'm trying to make her reconsider I even said while we spoke on the phone: "You know N and SN are getting harder to get by the day" and she actually replied "I'm sure there's still a way to die peacefully" it really struck me right there she actually wants to do this.... which really shook me because she's usually the positive one and im the depressed one.

I honestly feel like I can't live without her, ive known her most of my life and she's the best thing I have right now

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

This is so wild, nobody has ever said anything like this to me before

 

[iamanavalanche]

Seems like she might be talking impulsively. Don't rush into this sort of thing. Plus, as the person above says, if you can be happy together then...that beats suicide.

No matter what, though, it's something that has to be carefully thought out. She is at her lowest point and is perhaps not in the right state of mind to make such a momentous decision. It would be immoral to encourage her at such a point when her reasoning may not last the week.

100% agreed ^^

 

[wiggy]

Each of us are ultimately responsible for our own choices. However, I think it's worth having a frank assessment of how much you'd be contributing to that particular loss of life.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

Each of us are ultimately responsible for our own choices. However, I think it's worth having a frank assessment of how much you'd be contributing to that particular loss of life.

I said this:

there's just multiple reasons why i think you should reconsider

1) i don't believe in afterlife and thus will never be able to see you again if this happens
2) there's something i find so sad about catching the bus with someone else instead of just doing it alone. to me suicide is a point of despair and should be ideally done all alone. at your lowest point. not with someone else who can potentially help you escape such a state. logically it doesn't make sense to intentionally die when i've already told you before i would stay alive as long a you'll be here for me
3) i really hope you just feel this way now and life can go on and you'll feel different later.

 

[wiggy]

I said this:

I think this is a very level headed response. However, I'd say that you should proceed with the assumption that you're talking to someone who is not in control of their mental faculties. I know this might sound paradoxical coming from another suicidal individual, but the reality is is that you inhabit your own mind, and as such you are the ultimate arbiter of the validity of the decision to take your own life. The same judgement can never be made for a third party. I don't know what the correct thing to do in this situation would be exactly, but I think you should proceed with great caution.