KingDonald
Member
- Aug 24, 2019
- 15
I'm not trying to take God's place, but I really do feel like it's time for me to go. I feel like my life's a train that's about to wreck and if I don't do it now, it's only going to get worse. In the past 3 days or so, I've tried to kill myself through hanging probably more than 30 times-- too many to count. I tried full suspension once by throwing my necktie over the top of the door and finally mustered up enough courage to kick the chair over. My body dropped and I realized that I underestimated the length of the tie. My toes were touching the ground, just barely and I was choking for maybe over 5 minutes. I had a butcher knife on the ground beside my feet (from cutting another necktie to shorten the length) and tried to grab it with my feet, but knew I wouldn't be able to get it to where I could reach it. So, it appeared that I was going to die very painfully and slowly until I was able to somehow stand the chair up by "tipping it over" with my toes. I climbed on it, and was able to free myself that way. Realizing that I won't be able to fully suspend myself in my house, I decided to keep trying partial since I've seen videos and pictures of other people doing it.
My last attempt was only about 10-15 minutes ago. I hanged myself from the metal bar in my wardrobe closet after making the length of my drop shorter (to not land on my butt) and the necktie broke and I landed on the floor. I'm surprised my family didn't hear it, or they probably just didn't care as usual. So now I've tied a bedsheet to the bar and made that the noose instead, hoping that it will be able to hold my weight.
I told a friend of mine that I was going to kill myself about 3 nights ago. I was supposed to be dead 3 nights ago, but I'm still living because I've underestimated the difficulty of killing myself. But I've literally have been trying for about 3-4 days now and I feel like I'm getting closer with each attempt
My last attempt was only about 10-15 minutes ago. I hanged myself from the metal bar in my wardrobe closet after making the length of my drop shorter (to not land on my butt) and the necktie broke and I landed on the floor. I'm surprised my family didn't hear it, or they probably just didn't care as usual. So now I've tied a bedsheet to the bar and made that the noose instead, hoping that it will be able to hold my weight.
I told a friend of mine that I was going to kill myself about 3 nights ago. I was supposed to be dead 3 nights ago, but I'm still living because I've underestimated the difficulty of killing myself. But I've literally have been trying for about 3-4 days now and I feel like I'm getting closer with each attempt